farewell, adieu, au revoir, arivadeci, good bye.....
hello. this is what might possibly be the last lj entry i'll ever write. i just can't do this anymore. personal circumstances arose. i feel dead, emotionally. i need some time off. from everything. from family. from lj. from people. from work. from life. just sorta realised that i'm like a punching bag for everyone. especially my family. y'know. i take blows but i don't give any. i just take all their put downs, criticisms, and all that other crap and i don't say anything. i dunno. i feel....numb. almost like, dead. i can't feel anything. maybe, in time it'll come back, maybe. my eyes are swollen from crying. i think i've used up all my tears. they're so dry. my eyes, i mean. maybe this is what a robot feels like. alive but not completely. i don't feel complete. quite the opposite, really. empty. like maracas, only without the rattly things inside. but anyways, since this might be the last lj entry, i suppose i'll say some farewells.
Axver, i've enjoyed those occasional spamming sessions i participated in. it's been great knowing you. knowing you don't change. you're just as opinionated as ever and outspoken. especially about U2. i admire that. i really do. keep up the outspokeness. i hope you'll never feel the way i'm feeling now. good luck with your academic career. God bless you. who knows. maybe one day we'll bump into each other. we do live in the same country after all.
asweetmemory, i dont' know you very well, but i hope you keep dancing! keep smiling and keep those feet moving girl :)
caffeinefree, i've only met you a short while ago, but you always have something to say, no matter what the circumstances are. congradulations on your new apartment and keep up the effort of being sober. your faith in God is so strong, you are truly inspiring.
ducks0446, when i read your entries, it is like looking into a whole new world. your life is so completely different to mine, and so much more interesting. have fun (and i know you will) and keep true to God.
purkygirl05, i think we sorta alike, only living in different countries and with different families. i hope you do really well in school (it's your last year, no?) and good luck in university (or do you guys call it college or something else?) May you have God's choicest blessings.
verita_bella, you were one of the first (if not the first) to add me as you friend. thank you and keep strong in Christ. sometimes you're stubborn, but that can also be a good thing. take care and keep running and singing (and smiling).
well, i think that's it. but i suppose i don't want to end on a sad note, so here's some jokes:
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares . . . and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay by.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department & tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9 . Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission mpossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
by Basil Fawlty (aka John Cleese)
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be Amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up halfway through.
6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005.You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance, 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
they're very good jokes, no? a couple of week ago, i read this passage, and i was really touched by it. i wanted to post it, but i never did, so i'm posting it now. here it is, it's subtitled 'Hannah's Prayer' (1 Samuel 2:1-10)
"Hannah prayed:
'The Lord has filled my heart with joy;
how happy I am because of what he has done!
I laugh at my enemies;
how joyful I am because God has helped me!
No one is holy like the Lord;
there is none like him,
no protector like our God.
Stop your loud boasting;
silence your proud words.
For the Lord is a God who knows,
and he judges all that people do.
The bows of strong soldiers are broken,
but the weak grow strong.
The people who once were well fed
now hired themselves out to get food,
but the hungry are hungry no more.
The childless wife has borne seven children,
but the mother of many is left with none.
The Lord kills and restores to life;
he sends people to the world of the dead
and brings them back again.
He makes some poor and others rich;
he humbles some and makes others great.
He lifts the poor from the dust and raises the needy from their misery.
He makes them companions of princes
and puts them in places of honour.
The foundations of the earth belong to the Lord;
on them he has built the world.
He protects the lives of his faithful people,
but the wicked disappear in darkness;
a man does not triumph by his own strength.
The Lord's enemies will be destroyed;
he will thnder against them from heaven.
The Lord will judge the whole world;
he will give his power to his king,
he will make his chosen king victorious.'"
so there we go. everything that i had wanted to post is posted. maybe in time i'll do this again. maybe not. maybe in time i'll feel again. though i can't help but think that it's nice not to feel. kinda like anaesthetic. doesn't hurt. makes a nice change.
one last thing. i don't thinkg i've ever posted my real name before, so here it is: my name is Shirlaine Tse.
thank you, whoever you may be, for bearing with me.
May the Lord bless you as Isaac blessed Jacob
Adieu
Axver, i've enjoyed those occasional spamming sessions i participated in. it's been great knowing you. knowing you don't change. you're just as opinionated as ever and outspoken. especially about U2. i admire that. i really do. keep up the outspokeness. i hope you'll never feel the way i'm feeling now. good luck with your academic career. God bless you. who knows. maybe one day we'll bump into each other. we do live in the same country after all.
asweetmemory, i dont' know you very well, but i hope you keep dancing! keep smiling and keep those feet moving girl :)
caffeinefree, i've only met you a short while ago, but you always have something to say, no matter what the circumstances are. congradulations on your new apartment and keep up the effort of being sober. your faith in God is so strong, you are truly inspiring.
ducks0446, when i read your entries, it is like looking into a whole new world. your life is so completely different to mine, and so much more interesting. have fun (and i know you will) and keep true to God.
purkygirl05, i think we sorta alike, only living in different countries and with different families. i hope you do really well in school (it's your last year, no?) and good luck in university (or do you guys call it college or something else?) May you have God's choicest blessings.
verita_bella, you were one of the first (if not the first) to add me as you friend. thank you and keep strong in Christ. sometimes you're stubborn, but that can also be a good thing. take care and keep running and singing (and smiling).
well, i think that's it. but i suppose i don't want to end on a sad note, so here's some jokes:
15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares . . . and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay by.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department & tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9 . Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission mpossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different sized funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And; last, but not least!)
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------
NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE
by Basil Fawlty (aka John Cleese)
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium." Check the pronunciation guide. You will be Amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour'; skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee') and the suffix "ize" will be replaced by the suffix "ise." You will learn that the suffix 'burgh' is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary." Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed." There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.
2. There is no such thing as "US English." We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u' and the elimination of "-ize."
3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon." If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.
4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.
5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up halfway through.
6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US Rugby sevens side by 2005.You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders," which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.
7. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."
9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps." Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.
11. As a sign of penance, 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.
12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer," and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager." The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Knat's Urine," with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Knat's Urine." This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.
13. From November 10th the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline," as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2005) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices (roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).
14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.
15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.
16. Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
Thank you for your co-operation.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
they're very good jokes, no? a couple of week ago, i read this passage, and i was really touched by it. i wanted to post it, but i never did, so i'm posting it now. here it is, it's subtitled 'Hannah's Prayer' (1 Samuel 2:1-10)
"Hannah prayed:
'The Lord has filled my heart with joy;
how happy I am because of what he has done!
I laugh at my enemies;
how joyful I am because God has helped me!
No one is holy like the Lord;
there is none like him,
no protector like our God.
Stop your loud boasting;
silence your proud words.
For the Lord is a God who knows,
and he judges all that people do.
The bows of strong soldiers are broken,
but the weak grow strong.
The people who once were well fed
now hired themselves out to get food,
but the hungry are hungry no more.
The childless wife has borne seven children,
but the mother of many is left with none.
The Lord kills and restores to life;
he sends people to the world of the dead
and brings them back again.
He makes some poor and others rich;
he humbles some and makes others great.
He lifts the poor from the dust and raises the needy from their misery.
He makes them companions of princes
and puts them in places of honour.
The foundations of the earth belong to the Lord;
on them he has built the world.
He protects the lives of his faithful people,
but the wicked disappear in darkness;
a man does not triumph by his own strength.
The Lord's enemies will be destroyed;
he will thnder against them from heaven.
The Lord will judge the whole world;
he will give his power to his king,
he will make his chosen king victorious.'"
so there we go. everything that i had wanted to post is posted. maybe in time i'll do this again. maybe not. maybe in time i'll feel again. though i can't help but think that it's nice not to feel. kinda like anaesthetic. doesn't hurt. makes a nice change.
one last thing. i don't thinkg i've ever posted my real name before, so here it is: my name is Shirlaine Tse.
thank you, whoever you may be, for bearing with me.
May the Lord bless you as Isaac blessed Jacob
Adieu