in the cold november rain
I'm happy that for once, I'm done guessing..because now I finally know. I figured it out (without your help that you think is phenomenal) and there isn't any turning back now. It feels amazing. Go ahead and try to stop me.. you'll fail. I'm done with all the bullshit and games.
Lately, life has been full of the complete unexpected and I've dealt with it surprisingly well. .might be due to the fact that I let myself figure things out and rarely rely on people that I once thought the world of. Today may have been a slight exception, but by the end of the night I was at ease with everything and everyone around me. The Bean Counter is done.. fun while it lasted but tonight let me know certainly that some things are not going to be any different. That gives me inner peace..to know that at least something(s) is/are stable in my life. Bittersweet, but needed that's for sure. Family can be amazing too, another thing I've taken to lately. Their support is really what gets me through everyone else's stupidity. It's getting hard with all my grandparents being sick/elderly and causing my parents so much stress. No one else seems to get it because they haven't been through this yet like I have. I'm bracing myself for the worst really. I'm just nervous they won't make it to Renee's wedding, or that their comprised health will create problems in all this wedding planning my family is caught up in. In other news, I'm sick of people pretending/being naive. Luckily, the entire college campus I'm on doesn't help persuade me to think otherwise of the 18-24yr old population. I often wonder why I can't just play the idiot game and go about my day..I shouldn't be one to judge but I've just had a different take on life lately and I can't help it if it isn't something most people agree with. I just know I love being at home to cook dinner after a long day at work/school and I'm content with relaxing either at home with a book/music/candles/tinkering online or even enjoying drinks with close friends around a fireplace on the northside.
sometimes, self-renewal can be so rewarding. i just wish we didn't always look so hard and make drastic decisions, because the answers are always just an arm's length away.
and a good rainstorm conversation always makes you smile. life is good if you let it do it's thing.
Lately, life has been full of the complete unexpected and I've dealt with it surprisingly well. .might be due to the fact that I let myself figure things out and rarely rely on people that I once thought the world of. Today may have been a slight exception, but by the end of the night I was at ease with everything and everyone around me. The Bean Counter is done.. fun while it lasted but tonight let me know certainly that some things are not going to be any different. That gives me inner peace..to know that at least something(s) is/are stable in my life. Bittersweet, but needed that's for sure. Family can be amazing too, another thing I've taken to lately. Their support is really what gets me through everyone else's stupidity. It's getting hard with all my grandparents being sick/elderly and causing my parents so much stress. No one else seems to get it because they haven't been through this yet like I have. I'm bracing myself for the worst really. I'm just nervous they won't make it to Renee's wedding, or that their comprised health will create problems in all this wedding planning my family is caught up in. In other news, I'm sick of people pretending/being naive. Luckily, the entire college campus I'm on doesn't help persuade me to think otherwise of the 18-24yr old population. I often wonder why I can't just play the idiot game and go about my day..I shouldn't be one to judge but I've just had a different take on life lately and I can't help it if it isn't something most people agree with. I just know I love being at home to cook dinner after a long day at work/school and I'm content with relaxing either at home with a book/music/candles/tinkering online or even enjoying drinks with close friends around a fireplace on the northside.
sometimes, self-renewal can be so rewarding. i just wish we didn't always look so hard and make drastic decisions, because the answers are always just an arm's length away.
and a good rainstorm conversation always makes you smile. life is good if you let it do it's thing.