ha ha my mom forwarded me some jokes...
here's some--!
*What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
*Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
*Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
*What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
*What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
*What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
*Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
*Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
*What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
*What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
*Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
*What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".
*How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
*What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan
*Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.
*Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
*What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs
*What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes
*What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
*Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.
*Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
*What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
*What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"
*Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.
*What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the
cage along with... "a recipe".
*How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!