Entry from 7:00 pm 6/9/05, waiting for Gus's performance at LGBT center
It's been a long time since i've felt this way. its probably because its june (pride month) but its also a great deal to do with being here (added note: my first real entry into the gay world, right after really coming out was in june of my sophomore year of hs, when i walked down christopher street for the first time and say rainbows EVERYWHERE. at the time i didn't know that much about it being pride month, i just thought it was the best neighborhood ever that had rainbows all the time. not that i was very wrong, but pride month always feels a bit like that to me. a coming home type feeling.) i remember nownow the last time i felt like this was in february at the drag show with veg and jen. this place is amazing. i want to come back here without a reason. i love this neighborhood (union square, west of) i love it here. i'm not considering joining the youth pride chorus. i think that it would be really good to sing again and i feel like i could belong here. i think that i do already. even more so than i feel like i belong at barnard, though i love it there.
i think we should have a trip here with Q. Q needs to feel like this, that is my new goal for Q: Q needs to be a place where people can feel like they belong! i miss Jen & i wish she were here with me, to experience this, but i'm glad that i'm here at least. tonight might be a crying night (it wasn't). now that i want lili to not be there, she will be, i bet (she was, no biggie though). i want this to be a gay night. i love this feeling. i wish that i had Queer as fold to watch tongiht or something. i love this neighborhood and all of the rainbows! i love seeing rainbows so big that you know it took the cooperation of several people to put them up. this place is bursting with love. i can't get over it. i want to write Her. There have been too many signed today, telling me that i should be writing it. i need to do it. i need to harness this feeling so that it doesn't go away when i leave. maybe one day i'll bring my computer here and write it. i'm so glad its easy to get here from campus.
::sigh:: o' happiness such such good vibes. i'd love to come back here and meet people.
it smells like the collaboration of lovely colognes in here: the mark of many gay men in the same room, i'd say. it smells like mr. levitt. :) oh the loveliness! i wonder how this place would make shari feel.