Future....seems as clear as mud!
So, I'm still praying about this....but I have to write this down so I can let go....
I WANT TO MOVE HOME....I need a support system right now. My dad always said "Just put down the shovel" when you've already started digging a hole...well this is one of those times. I need to put down the shovel in my life...
I've screwed myself when it comes to classes here at TUFW....I'm going to be close to failing in my mind...so I need to just stop and restart....I love the city but I hate it...I love it because it is so diverse but I hate it because its so diverse. I love it because there is sooooo much to do but I hate it because there is sooooo much I can do.
People here....seem to care on the outside...but do they really? I don't think so....because honestly...there is just too much going on with me for them to care about. I know what it is like...I mean come on some of my closest friends don't even care...so why would these people care? Because they are Christians? well still....they have things going on in their lives....
I have sooo much going on inside....even if I wrote like six pages of stuff it would still only be half of whats going on in my mind....
I want to move back in with my mom....I need the support system...I just need some more time to cope (well I need more time) I do but I don't think coming back this semester was a good thing. I mean I love all the new people I've met and the old relationships that have grown...and some have been severed... but still the point is it has had its faults and its good times.
My game plan on my future (which is still in the praying stage) is to move home in December, take a semester off from school, work and pay on some of my debit, try working with my home church and the youth group, and figure out what I want to do from there..... The only glitch is...finding out if I can get out of my lease...and telling my roommate that she needs to find a new roommate....this is going to be fun
That is another reason why I am leaving TUFW because everyone LOVES my roommate and I know if I move home I'm screwing her over....and everyone will hate me...and I want to get away from that. I love the community, but I hate how cliquey it can be....So whatev...Im getting out (God willing) I want to be around people that really do care about me..(not that all people here don't care) I just feel like there is too many that don't.
God I love you...but what am I suppose to do? I don't feel like Im suppose to be here anymore... is this what you are wanting me to do?
I WANT TO MOVE HOME....I need a support system right now. My dad always said "Just put down the shovel" when you've already started digging a hole...well this is one of those times. I need to put down the shovel in my life...
I've screwed myself when it comes to classes here at TUFW....I'm going to be close to failing in my mind...so I need to just stop and restart....I love the city but I hate it...I love it because it is so diverse but I hate it because its so diverse. I love it because there is sooooo much to do but I hate it because there is sooooo much I can do.
People here....seem to care on the outside...but do they really? I don't think so....because honestly...there is just too much going on with me for them to care about. I know what it is like...I mean come on some of my closest friends don't even care...so why would these people care? Because they are Christians? well still....they have things going on in their lives....
I have sooo much going on inside....even if I wrote like six pages of stuff it would still only be half of whats going on in my mind....
I want to move back in with my mom....I need the support system...I just need some more time to cope (well I need more time) I do but I don't think coming back this semester was a good thing. I mean I love all the new people I've met and the old relationships that have grown...and some have been severed... but still the point is it has had its faults and its good times.
My game plan on my future (which is still in the praying stage) is to move home in December, take a semester off from school, work and pay on some of my debit, try working with my home church and the youth group, and figure out what I want to do from there..... The only glitch is...finding out if I can get out of my lease...and telling my roommate that she needs to find a new roommate....this is going to be fun
That is another reason why I am leaving TUFW because everyone LOVES my roommate and I know if I move home I'm screwing her over....and everyone will hate me...and I want to get away from that. I love the community, but I hate how cliquey it can be....So whatev...Im getting out (God willing) I want to be around people that really do care about me..(not that all people here don't care) I just feel like there is too many that don't.
God I love you...but what am I suppose to do? I don't feel like Im suppose to be here anymore... is this what you are wanting me to do?