if only....
So I haven't used this in a REALLY long time.... and A LOT has happened but I'm not going to go there...
I guess I am going to talk about my birthday... So I went out with my family....pretty lame because my mom went with us. I mean I'm glad my mom went with us to celebrate me turning 21 since I don't have my dad to celebrate but she is such a DOWNER most the time! I love her to death but I can't deal with on happy moments her being depressing....I don't understand all the things s she is going through but even I can pretend to be happy for one night! But at the same time...Peru bars were pretty lame...
Then we went to Peoria, Illinois I was pretty upset by this because I was like this is a really lame way to spend your 21st... Well my mom passed out early and me my brother and sister-in-law went out to the bars downtown. OMG the most fun I had the entire weekend! I had a lot to drink :)))))) And I didn't have a hang over in the morning!
I did have a lot of fun.....but I did notice something about myself. I'm lonely...I mean I have people and friends in my life but I want that special someone. I mean i saw soooo many couples and I was with my brother and sister-in-law...
I mean I saw thats what I wanted more than anything.....lol and so as the more I drank the more flirtatious I got with this guy I met...long story short, I got a number and I made out with him a lot....lol
Another long story is I'm not sure how I feel about it...like I liked the guy but it just doesn't seem like it was going to happen...
UGH....I hate thinking....if going with the flow of things...or if things would just work out for me would be nice....
I mean I've yet to date a guy that wasn't a douche....and sad thing is that the last guy I dated was the biggest of them all....I mean what guy after the girl he is seeings dad dies...do you really tell her that you care about her and want to be there for her and then like a week later tell her that you want to play the field????? WTF...I mean I'm sure if I was with any of the other guys I dated wouldn't have done that and he was a Christian....
And I see what everyone see about about Christians....they suck...well a lot of them
Thats not only because of my ex...I go to a Christian College...I see a lot of crappy people
I mean I still have the faith in God! I'm sure in Him being able to do all things but I just don't have faith in people....I mean the idea of thinking about anyone but themselves...like what they can get out of things...I'm sure I can be accused of it sometimes....but I try my hardest to do my best going out of my way for people... but the people I am ripping on is people that don't care enough to do that or even for that matter care about people unless they are getting something out of it! thats the most ridiculous thing in the entire world!!
Ugh....Only if some things would work out for me!
I guess I am going to talk about my birthday... So I went out with my family....pretty lame because my mom went with us. I mean I'm glad my mom went with us to celebrate me turning 21 since I don't have my dad to celebrate but she is such a DOWNER most the time! I love her to death but I can't deal with on happy moments her being depressing....I don't understand all the things s she is going through but even I can pretend to be happy for one night! But at the same time...Peru bars were pretty lame...
Then we went to Peoria, Illinois I was pretty upset by this because I was like this is a really lame way to spend your 21st... Well my mom passed out early and me my brother and sister-in-law went out to the bars downtown. OMG the most fun I had the entire weekend! I had a lot to drink :)))))) And I didn't have a hang over in the morning!
I did have a lot of fun.....but I did notice something about myself. I'm lonely...I mean I have people and friends in my life but I want that special someone. I mean i saw soooo many couples and I was with my brother and sister-in-law...
I mean I saw thats what I wanted more than anything.....lol and so as the more I drank the more flirtatious I got with this guy I met...long story short, I got a number and I made out with him a lot....lol
Another long story is I'm not sure how I feel about it...like I liked the guy but it just doesn't seem like it was going to happen...
UGH....I hate thinking....if going with the flow of things...or if things would just work out for me would be nice....
I mean I've yet to date a guy that wasn't a douche....and sad thing is that the last guy I dated was the biggest of them all....I mean what guy after the girl he is seeings dad dies...do you really tell her that you care about her and want to be there for her and then like a week later tell her that you want to play the field????? WTF...I mean I'm sure if I was with any of the other guys I dated wouldn't have done that and he was a Christian....
And I see what everyone see about about Christians....they suck...well a lot of them
Thats not only because of my ex...I go to a Christian College...I see a lot of crappy people
I mean I still have the faith in God! I'm sure in Him being able to do all things but I just don't have faith in people....I mean the idea of thinking about anyone but themselves...like what they can get out of things...I'm sure I can be accused of it sometimes....but I try my hardest to do my best going out of my way for people... but the people I am ripping on is people that don't care enough to do that or even for that matter care about people unless they are getting something out of it! thats the most ridiculous thing in the entire world!!
Ugh....Only if some things would work out for me!