(no subject)
I've come to the realization that it doesn't matter how much I study for this Micro test, I'm still going to fail it and this class. I'm actually going to fail. And I'm not just putting myself down because I'm stressed or anything. I've been studying the past 3 days, been emailing the teacher the last 3 days and even gone to see him. He even told me I was going to fail. He told me this was an upper division class to be taken by Juniors and seniors. And that at my level, I haven't been prepared enough for this class. WTF?!?!?! No one told me that. My stupid adviser ruined my semester. He told me to take classes that graduating seniors are taking. He had no idea what he was doing and even told me so. So I am going to fail. I'm going to get off here and study like a beast, but I'm not going to be able to do it. There is way to much to memorize and I'm not good at that kind of stuff. For Example, what species causes rabies, how is it acquired, is it a negative or positive RNA virus or a gram negative or gram positive bacteria and how do you get rid of it? And there are about 50 different types of organisms not to mention viruses, and about 30 different techniques to kill everything. And its not like I'm not interested, its just way to much! Plus I've just been really stressed because my separation in lab isn't working out. I've done the experiment 3 times, finally get it right and have about a tear drop of solution to try to figure out what it is. I love my major, I study and work hard, but why can't I do this? I'm not dumb. I want to do research. I'm really optimistic about my future semesters. ( I changed advisers by the way) But I'm going to loose my scholarships. Which my parents tell me not to worry about money, but I'm the daughter of not one, but two accountants. Managing money is in my blood. I know how much they spend on me. And I don't want to be a drain or a burden on my parents. They try to reassure me that me going to college is the best investment they've ever made. But until this semester I've never worried about letting them down, or them being disappointed. I've just never failed before. I've always been at the top of my class. Now I can't even make the dean's list. Sorry, I'm sure no one really cares but I just need to vent. Plus, lab accident #2 happened today. I got burned by the tip of a thermometer that was reading 170*C. 25*C is room temperature by the way or about 60 F. Some guy was walking by not paying attention and the tip of it was pushed into my arm. So I'm going to have a nice little scar now. But I'm going to go make come chi and get back to studying. Wish me luck. I need it. ~Sarah