wheres my coin operated boy?
so.... i watched 100 girls.... yeah... why the fuck doesnt that shit happen to me? I want someone to want me like that god dammit! or maybe i dont... because then I'd have to reciprocate the love.... lol.
Im in love with the thought of being in love....
I live in a nice little fantasy world i like to call melissaisadumbassmotherfuckertopia
Im in love with the thought of being in love....
I live in a nice little fantasy world i like to call melissaisadumbassmotherfuckertopia
the only way you can have me... is if you clean my house wearing nothing but converse... mondays, thursdays, and fridays....
buy me three square meals a day...
drive me anywhere i want to be .. when i want to be there....
feed my snake once every ten days....
give me a full body massage every night before i go to sleep....
do my laundry twice a week... warm cycle.. make sure you but just a little bit more than needed.... and downy sheets are preferable.
get my hur did once a week... ever third one needs to be scheduled for a dye.
buy me a pony.
feed the pony.
send my mother flowers once a month.
send me flowers once a week.
style my hair at 6 pm every night to prepare for the evening...
(100 strokes on the left side, 90 on the right.... i part my hair in the middle... there just happens to be more hair on one side then the other)
give me a bubble bath every night right before my full body massage....
make sure all cracks and crevices are taken care of... including belly button lint)
when my glasses smudge... use your shirt to clean them...
(when cleaning house please use designated cleaning towel and dust of with duster twice on each lens)
balance my check book
pay my telephone bills... my automobiles.... you know... that....
oh yeah... i require a yoohoo an hour....
unlimited final fantasy playing time.....
you must be horrible at super mario brothers so i can kick your ass everytime... and if your good at it... let me win....
you must be blessed with witty sarcasm... i like my adult swim watching partner to say something funny every 2.3 minutes... while feeding me grapes... by throwing them across the room....
ok... i cant type anymore... but you get the idea... you can call for an interview anytime between the hours of 2-4 monday through friday.
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