what the hell
here I am again. I have no job and no money. Why? Here I sit and ponder upon my ass with little intrest in the real world. It kicked my head in again. I have this great "gift" that I can't seem to get right. I am human so I am doomed to make mistate after mistake. I would like to get on the good side of fate here one of these days. I just take what i get for granted to much. I apprecate what I have and I am greatful for the wonderful man I got. Let me sit and spew the mushy love song for a second. I love this man of mine. He turly trys to understand the insanity I must go through. I made a mistake and let the wrong person in that I am still trying to kick out. Well I just relized that I haven't done anything to really get them out. but as I think about it do I want them out. no I have no one to blam but the evil inside. Why are we children of light naturely drawn to the darkness. But who am i to say that i am a child of light. At times I am Everything and nothing. I feel that i might have forfited my chance to be in heaven. But how can I do this when i know i have more chances. But its all been done before. The stars know. It all played out again. am I still insane in hell. but i can't be in hell I have the most wonderful man in the world. I know there is a way out of this self mutilation. I know things are going to get better. I was betrayed And i am ready to cause some payback. I feel as though they left me. But I stayed behind. What do i really mean and who am I to speek aloud.