conversation with rae
HappyDaisy9486: hola
CherishMe2k4: hi
HappyDaisy9486: how's things?
CherishMe2k4: ok i suppose
CherishMe2k4: u?
HappyDaisy9486: they've been better
CherishMe2k4: o.. wutsa wrong?
HappyDaisy9486: i never have time for anyone anymore
CherishMe2k4: hmm.. so i've noticed.. srry to say.. like me and jamie got into a lil quarrel about how im the distant one
CherishMe2k4: i feel like im left out with u two..
HappyDaisy9486: well, you have a lot of friends to keep in contact with
CherishMe2k4: yea.. and so do u
HappyDaisy9486: the two of us only talk in class pretty much. the last time we were out together was with you
CherishMe2k4: yea but u still know things that i dont. like i always hear about wut u two did... and i want to be apart of it
CherishMe2k4: but its like i cant..
HappyDaisy9486: why? and what stuff? the stuff in class?
CherishMe2k4: and like jamie brought it to my attention that multiple people feel that i distance myself from them to make them feel bad
CherishMe2k4: and i dont!
HappyDaisy9486: you don't distance people to make them feel bad. but one person can only keep up with so many people at once
CherishMe2k4: yea i know.. but i thought that she owuld know that the two ppl i wish to be with the most are you and jamie
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 8:54:51 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 8:57:09 PM.
CherishMe2k4: ok, srry, im back
HappyDaisy9486: not a problem.
CherishMe2k4: but yea.. and like i felt really bad cuz she felt bad about it all.. and i dont try to distance myself from ppl at all..
CherishMe2k4: i have been a lot happier lately, i dont know if you noticed
HappyDaisy9486: look- the last thing i want is for you to have to choose between friends. That's ridiculous. But it's only high school! we really need to learn to take things less seriously.
HappyDaisy9486: and, i have noticed that you've been happier
CherishMe2k4: yea well thats the thing, lik ei neveer would have to choose between friends.. u would never have to ask me to.. it would ALWAYS be you and jamie hands down
HappyDaisy9486: the only thing that worries me a little is how i get the vibes that you don't tell me anything. I just feel like you hide things. and not on purpose, just because you think i'll be all flippy or something, i don't know
CherishMe2k4: but she doesnt see that
HappyDaisy9486: i really want to think that it will always be me and jamie. but it doesn't always look that way
CherishMe2k4: no.. i dont hide things.. you just have to ask.. i got hurt this summer by someone i REALLY cared about and for that reason.. to know fault of anyones.. i have been a lil shut
CherishMe2k4: i always saw it as the three of us
CherishMe2k4: and i still do..
HappyDaisy9486: i know you did, i mean about the three of us
HappyDaisy9486: and i know a little about this summer too
HappyDaisy9486: probably more than you think i know
CherishMe2k4: hmm.. like wut?
CherishMe2k4: cuz if u ask i'll tell you
HappyDaisy9486: ok. how much weed?
HappyDaisy9486: and alcohol?
HappyDaisy9486: not to be blunt... :-)
CherishMe2k4: lol.. ok.. i like to drink.. and i smoked a few times..
CherishMe2k4: but it didnt change me as a person
CherishMe2k4: i dont need it
CherishMe2k4: and at a drop of a hat i would stop for u two
HappyDaisy9486: i know. i just needed to hear it from you. I'll never look down on you. you need to know that. and i'll never tell you not to do something. you're a big girl, and you can make your own choices. But i do want you to tell me
HappyDaisy9486: so i don't have to hear it from other people. you know?
CherishMe2k4: and who did you hear it ffrom?
CherishMe2k4: its not like i was keepin it from u intentionally
CherishMe2k4: it just never came up
HappyDaisy9486: i know. i was almost afraid to ask you because i thought you might be mad. and i heard it from jess, and i kinda put 2 and 2 together in my head. Jess assumed it also by the way, but i'd judge her knowlege better than mine, since she's done it
CherishMe2k4: i never came to school high ever.. and i was never high around her, she knew though cuz we were talkin about it.. me and matt.. and she heard and asked so i told her
HappyDaisy9486: ok.
HappyDaisy9486: thank you for clearing that up
CherishMe2k4: no problem..
CherishMe2k4: kale.. ur my BEST FRIEND! u an d jamie.. whenever you want to know something.. dont ever be afraid to ask me
HappyDaisy9486: you'd been hanging around george gokas a lot, and i figured at the flute party there'd be large amounts of alcohol, and you never know people when they're drunk
CherishMe2k4: no non o, i've been with pam and matt and rob
CherishMe2k4: george was always just there
CherishMe2k4: i wont go anywhere with him alone
HappyDaisy9486: no offense or anything, but you tend to get a little snappy when someone says something the wrong way. and i'm sorry, but i'm tired of walking on eggshells. It just seemed way easier to let it go
HappyDaisy9486: and good judgement on never going anywhere alone w/ george. I know you're strong, but he's very big. and i wouldn't put anything past him. granted, i don't know him very well, but that's just the way i think
CherishMe2k4: yes, well no offense to you either, but i sometimes feel that u look down on the way i am.. i cant always be happy.. and like sometimes thats wut i think u want me to be just that.. i do get snappy cuz im not used to having people be there for me as much as u have
HappyDaisy9486: rae... i have never looked down on you. never ever ever. and i never would. and the snippy-ness is just your personality, and there's nothing wrong with that. i'm just lazy
HappyDaisy9486: and it's not bad either.
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 9:16:45 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 9:17:03 PM.
HappyDaisy9486: and you only get a little defensive when i say the wrong thing
CherishMe2k4: like i have no problem tellin someone if i have an issue with them.. just to get it out of the way.. but like i cant deal when its my best friend
CherishMe2k4: cuz to me.. wut u and jamie were sayin, at least to my earz is that we're not alwayz gonna be best friineds
CherishMe2k4: and thats wut i want.. thats wut i need
HappyDaisy9486: be real. after all the shit we've been through together? please honey, you're stuck with us
CherishMe2k4: and i want to be stuck with you! i dont see it as stuck.. i see it we're bonded.. and like it hurt ALOT to hear that jamie thought that i was bein a bad friend
HappyDaisy9486: ok... that's not what she thought. let me explain...
CherishMe2k4: hmm..ok
HappyDaisy9486: sorry to tell you, but we've had a conversation or two about how to handle the situation. we just needed to get things straight with each other first, ok? this has nothing against you. allright?
HappyDaisy9486: and i know i'm going to say the wrong thing at one point or another, so just be very open-minded
HappyDaisy9486: i need to hear you say ok
CherishMe2k4: ok..
HappyDaisy9486: ok... lately jamie and i have been getting the impression that we've been the alternate friends. like when no one else is available, call jamie and kale, because they have no lives. and that kind of hurts. obviously we were wrong...
HappyDaisy9486: and the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that you didn't tell me about the whole weed thing. believe me, i don't care either way if you smoke it or not once in a while, just don't get addicted. It's bad for brain cells. So that's why i've been a little pissy lately
HappyDaisy9486: please don't be mad at me. those are just my feelings. and i can't help how i fell.
CherishMe2k4: and i cant help how i feel.. the way i feel is that u always think that i take advantage of you guys! i would never do that! and for you to even think that.. it hurts worse more than anything anyone has ever put me through
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 9:28:18 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 9:28:26 PM.
HappyDaisy9486: i'm sorry. i really am. I understand that we don't have a hell of a lot of time in the fall between band and soccer to see each other, and i was wrong . and this is the only time i've ever felt taken advantage of.
HappyDaisy9486: and it hurts
CherishMe2k4: so u think i have taken advantage of you?
HappyDaisy9486: not anymore
CherishMe2k4: well thanx.. i'll keep that in mind for the next time i decide to call one of my other friendz
CherishMe2k4: to me.. u two ARE my only frendz
HappyDaisy9486: you have no idea how glad i am to hear you say that
CherishMe2k4: you should have known that!
HappyDaisy9486: i know! but i didn't.
HappyDaisy9486: i mean, i know i should have. but i didn't know
CherishMe2k4: i cant believe that you guys would even think that i'd taken advantage of you
HappyDaisy9486: that's honestly what it felt like.
CherishMe2k4: my ass sits in driving school for 3 hours 4 times a week so i can drive for you guys.. i have been workin with my uncle so i could take u and jamie skiing on a trip me and him wereplanning to take
HappyDaisy9486: i didnt know that. i feel like we never talk anymore.
CherishMe2k4: and i do band and i do softball and sometimes i need a break from all that shit.. so i call the only two ppl hoo ever make me feel better..
HappyDaisy9486: that's where the advantage feeling comes it. You never tell me all this
CherishMe2k4: well i wasnt gonna tell u.. it was suposed to be a surprise..
HappyDaisy9486: i just wish i knew more of what was going on in your life. I feel like you never want to tell me
CherishMe2k4: if u want to know, ask! like you sed.. with band ONE freakin class together soccer softball driving and work.. im sorry that i cant be the friend to u that i want to be
CherishMe2k4: and i am even more sorry that you have those feelings
CherishMe2k4: cuz it makes me feel like a wicked baad person
HappyDaisy9486: so am i believe me!
HappyDaisy9486: and you're not a bad person. we just have a communication issue
HappyDaisy9486: i never want to ask (it's in my nature) and you don't want to tell unless you get asked. (assumingly in you're nature)
HappyDaisy9486: sorry. i know you hate to be analysed
HappyDaisy9486: i was just guessing
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 9:36:32 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 9:36:37 PM.
CherishMe2k4: im more upset that i've let u guys down..
HappyDaisy9486: you're probably not the only one who did the letting down... am i right?
CherishMe2k4: u havent let me down.. u've left me hurt, but never let down
HappyDaisy9486: the way i see it; hurt=down
HappyDaisy9486: so that means we're both guilty
HappyDaisy9486: do you forgive me?
CherishMe2k4: of course i do
CherishMe2k4: do you forgive me?
HappyDaisy9486: naturally
HappyDaisy9486: you've gotta read this;
HappyDaisy9486: KangarooPoo182: wat was dip shit charlies gf's name
HappyDaisy9486: but my back still hurts... and i have two tests tomorrow
HappyDaisy9486: angie
KangarooPoo182: hmmmm
KangarooPoo182: her sn is anggie1234
HappyDaisy9486: could be
KangarooPoo182: and ive been talkin to all these dumb berliners
CherishMe2k4: cuz the way i see things.. u and jamie always have been there for me.. and u thought i was distant.. i thought you guys were distant.. so obviously there was something going on
HappyDaisy9486: bad communication skills. that's what was going on
CherishMe2k4: duh
HappyDaisy9486: sorry... did you read that thingy sean said?
HappyDaisy9486: not to change the subject
CherishMe2k4: yea i did
CherishMe2k4: lol
CherishMe2k4: i brb though
HappyDaisy9486: ok
CherishMe2k4: hi
HappyDaisy9486: how's things?
CherishMe2k4: ok i suppose
CherishMe2k4: u?
HappyDaisy9486: they've been better
CherishMe2k4: o.. wutsa wrong?
HappyDaisy9486: i never have time for anyone anymore
CherishMe2k4: hmm.. so i've noticed.. srry to say.. like me and jamie got into a lil quarrel about how im the distant one
CherishMe2k4: i feel like im left out with u two..
HappyDaisy9486: well, you have a lot of friends to keep in contact with
CherishMe2k4: yea.. and so do u
HappyDaisy9486: the two of us only talk in class pretty much. the last time we were out together was with you
CherishMe2k4: yea but u still know things that i dont. like i always hear about wut u two did... and i want to be apart of it
CherishMe2k4: but its like i cant..
HappyDaisy9486: why? and what stuff? the stuff in class?
CherishMe2k4: and like jamie brought it to my attention that multiple people feel that i distance myself from them to make them feel bad
CherishMe2k4: and i dont!
HappyDaisy9486: you don't distance people to make them feel bad. but one person can only keep up with so many people at once
CherishMe2k4: yea i know.. but i thought that she owuld know that the two ppl i wish to be with the most are you and jamie
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 8:54:51 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 8:57:09 PM.
CherishMe2k4: ok, srry, im back
HappyDaisy9486: not a problem.
CherishMe2k4: but yea.. and like i felt really bad cuz she felt bad about it all.. and i dont try to distance myself from ppl at all..
CherishMe2k4: i have been a lot happier lately, i dont know if you noticed
HappyDaisy9486: look- the last thing i want is for you to have to choose between friends. That's ridiculous. But it's only high school! we really need to learn to take things less seriously.
HappyDaisy9486: and, i have noticed that you've been happier
CherishMe2k4: yea well thats the thing, lik ei neveer would have to choose between friends.. u would never have to ask me to.. it would ALWAYS be you and jamie hands down
HappyDaisy9486: the only thing that worries me a little is how i get the vibes that you don't tell me anything. I just feel like you hide things. and not on purpose, just because you think i'll be all flippy or something, i don't know
CherishMe2k4: but she doesnt see that
HappyDaisy9486: i really want to think that it will always be me and jamie. but it doesn't always look that way
CherishMe2k4: no.. i dont hide things.. you just have to ask.. i got hurt this summer by someone i REALLY cared about and for that reason.. to know fault of anyones.. i have been a lil shut
CherishMe2k4: i always saw it as the three of us
CherishMe2k4: and i still do..
HappyDaisy9486: i know you did, i mean about the three of us
HappyDaisy9486: and i know a little about this summer too
HappyDaisy9486: probably more than you think i know
CherishMe2k4: hmm.. like wut?
CherishMe2k4: cuz if u ask i'll tell you
HappyDaisy9486: ok. how much weed?
HappyDaisy9486: and alcohol?
HappyDaisy9486: not to be blunt... :-)
CherishMe2k4: lol.. ok.. i like to drink.. and i smoked a few times..
CherishMe2k4: but it didnt change me as a person
CherishMe2k4: i dont need it
CherishMe2k4: and at a drop of a hat i would stop for u two
HappyDaisy9486: i know. i just needed to hear it from you. I'll never look down on you. you need to know that. and i'll never tell you not to do something. you're a big girl, and you can make your own choices. But i do want you to tell me
HappyDaisy9486: so i don't have to hear it from other people. you know?
CherishMe2k4: and who did you hear it ffrom?
CherishMe2k4: its not like i was keepin it from u intentionally
CherishMe2k4: it just never came up
HappyDaisy9486: i know. i was almost afraid to ask you because i thought you might be mad. and i heard it from jess, and i kinda put 2 and 2 together in my head. Jess assumed it also by the way, but i'd judge her knowlege better than mine, since she's done it
CherishMe2k4: i never came to school high ever.. and i was never high around her, she knew though cuz we were talkin about it.. me and matt.. and she heard and asked so i told her
HappyDaisy9486: ok.
HappyDaisy9486: thank you for clearing that up
CherishMe2k4: no problem..
CherishMe2k4: kale.. ur my BEST FRIEND! u an d jamie.. whenever you want to know something.. dont ever be afraid to ask me
HappyDaisy9486: you'd been hanging around george gokas a lot, and i figured at the flute party there'd be large amounts of alcohol, and you never know people when they're drunk
CherishMe2k4: no non o, i've been with pam and matt and rob
CherishMe2k4: george was always just there
CherishMe2k4: i wont go anywhere with him alone
HappyDaisy9486: no offense or anything, but you tend to get a little snappy when someone says something the wrong way. and i'm sorry, but i'm tired of walking on eggshells. It just seemed way easier to let it go
HappyDaisy9486: and good judgement on never going anywhere alone w/ george. I know you're strong, but he's very big. and i wouldn't put anything past him. granted, i don't know him very well, but that's just the way i think
CherishMe2k4: yes, well no offense to you either, but i sometimes feel that u look down on the way i am.. i cant always be happy.. and like sometimes thats wut i think u want me to be just that.. i do get snappy cuz im not used to having people be there for me as much as u have
HappyDaisy9486: rae... i have never looked down on you. never ever ever. and i never would. and the snippy-ness is just your personality, and there's nothing wrong with that. i'm just lazy
HappyDaisy9486: and it's not bad either.
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 9:16:45 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 9:17:03 PM.
HappyDaisy9486: and you only get a little defensive when i say the wrong thing
CherishMe2k4: like i have no problem tellin someone if i have an issue with them.. just to get it out of the way.. but like i cant deal when its my best friend
CherishMe2k4: cuz to me.. wut u and jamie were sayin, at least to my earz is that we're not alwayz gonna be best friineds
CherishMe2k4: and thats wut i want.. thats wut i need
HappyDaisy9486: be real. after all the shit we've been through together? please honey, you're stuck with us
CherishMe2k4: and i want to be stuck with you! i dont see it as stuck.. i see it we're bonded.. and like it hurt ALOT to hear that jamie thought that i was bein a bad friend
HappyDaisy9486: ok... that's not what she thought. let me explain...
CherishMe2k4: hmm..ok
HappyDaisy9486: sorry to tell you, but we've had a conversation or two about how to handle the situation. we just needed to get things straight with each other first, ok? this has nothing against you. allright?
HappyDaisy9486: and i know i'm going to say the wrong thing at one point or another, so just be very open-minded
HappyDaisy9486: i need to hear you say ok
CherishMe2k4: ok..
HappyDaisy9486: ok... lately jamie and i have been getting the impression that we've been the alternate friends. like when no one else is available, call jamie and kale, because they have no lives. and that kind of hurts. obviously we were wrong...
HappyDaisy9486: and the thing that bothered me the most was the fact that you didn't tell me about the whole weed thing. believe me, i don't care either way if you smoke it or not once in a while, just don't get addicted. It's bad for brain cells. So that's why i've been a little pissy lately
HappyDaisy9486: please don't be mad at me. those are just my feelings. and i can't help how i fell.
CherishMe2k4: and i cant help how i feel.. the way i feel is that u always think that i take advantage of you guys! i would never do that! and for you to even think that.. it hurts worse more than anything anyone has ever put me through
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 9:28:18 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 9:28:26 PM.
HappyDaisy9486: i'm sorry. i really am. I understand that we don't have a hell of a lot of time in the fall between band and soccer to see each other, and i was wrong . and this is the only time i've ever felt taken advantage of.
HappyDaisy9486: and it hurts
CherishMe2k4: so u think i have taken advantage of you?
HappyDaisy9486: not anymore
CherishMe2k4: well thanx.. i'll keep that in mind for the next time i decide to call one of my other friendz
CherishMe2k4: to me.. u two ARE my only frendz
HappyDaisy9486: you have no idea how glad i am to hear you say that
CherishMe2k4: you should have known that!
HappyDaisy9486: i know! but i didn't.
HappyDaisy9486: i mean, i know i should have. but i didn't know
CherishMe2k4: i cant believe that you guys would even think that i'd taken advantage of you
HappyDaisy9486: that's honestly what it felt like.
CherishMe2k4: my ass sits in driving school for 3 hours 4 times a week so i can drive for you guys.. i have been workin with my uncle so i could take u and jamie skiing on a trip me and him wereplanning to take
HappyDaisy9486: i didnt know that. i feel like we never talk anymore.
CherishMe2k4: and i do band and i do softball and sometimes i need a break from all that shit.. so i call the only two ppl hoo ever make me feel better..
HappyDaisy9486: that's where the advantage feeling comes it. You never tell me all this
CherishMe2k4: well i wasnt gonna tell u.. it was suposed to be a surprise..
HappyDaisy9486: i just wish i knew more of what was going on in your life. I feel like you never want to tell me
CherishMe2k4: if u want to know, ask! like you sed.. with band ONE freakin class together soccer softball driving and work.. im sorry that i cant be the friend to u that i want to be
CherishMe2k4: and i am even more sorry that you have those feelings
CherishMe2k4: cuz it makes me feel like a wicked baad person
HappyDaisy9486: so am i believe me!
HappyDaisy9486: and you're not a bad person. we just have a communication issue
HappyDaisy9486: i never want to ask (it's in my nature) and you don't want to tell unless you get asked. (assumingly in you're nature)
HappyDaisy9486: sorry. i know you hate to be analysed
HappyDaisy9486: i was just guessing
CherishMe2k4 signed off at 9:36:32 PM.
CherishMe2k4 signed on at 9:36:37 PM.
CherishMe2k4: im more upset that i've let u guys down..
HappyDaisy9486: you're probably not the only one who did the letting down... am i right?
CherishMe2k4: u havent let me down.. u've left me hurt, but never let down
HappyDaisy9486: the way i see it; hurt=down
HappyDaisy9486: so that means we're both guilty
HappyDaisy9486: do you forgive me?
CherishMe2k4: of course i do
CherishMe2k4: do you forgive me?
HappyDaisy9486: naturally
HappyDaisy9486: you've gotta read this;
HappyDaisy9486: KangarooPoo182: wat was dip shit charlies gf's name
HappyDaisy9486: but my back still hurts... and i have two tests tomorrow
HappyDaisy9486: angie
KangarooPoo182: hmmmm
KangarooPoo182: her sn is anggie1234
HappyDaisy9486: could be
KangarooPoo182: and ive been talkin to all these dumb berliners
CherishMe2k4: cuz the way i see things.. u and jamie always have been there for me.. and u thought i was distant.. i thought you guys were distant.. so obviously there was something going on
HappyDaisy9486: bad communication skills. that's what was going on
CherishMe2k4: duh
HappyDaisy9486: sorry... did you read that thingy sean said?
HappyDaisy9486: not to change the subject
CherishMe2k4: yea i did
CherishMe2k4: lol
CherishMe2k4: i brb though
HappyDaisy9486: ok