whatever
I have been sleeping for the last four hours lol so I feel wicked yucky....I still can't believe Paul did that to me, and the fact that everyone knows. I am supposed to be respected by so many people and it just makes me look like weak trash to still be dating him. Please, he could have been blasted out of his mind and still thought about what he was going to do before he did it. I mean he said sorry, but all his friends say he does it to everyone else too. I guess instead of getting upset I'm just going to start playing the game. Even though I want to get him back so bad, I could never cheat on him. Know matter how much white trash him and his friends are. But I look at all these really nice mature kids his age that I meet and think, why can't I have a guy like that? Well I guess I've convinced myself that Paul is the best kind of person I'll be able to get, even though it makes me feel low. I wish I had higher selfesteem so he couldn't feed off me. You think after what he has done he'd have respect for me knowing he's on thin ice...Pffff no way, a tough guy like him, treat a girl with respect, never. Anyways he said molly was wicked hot and it made me feel so bad...like he'd leave me at anytime to get a better looking "piece of ass". Whatever though, I'm sure he's the kind of asshole who doesn't make it to far in life anyways. Then he yells at me cause I never come up to see him and he always has to come down here. Even though in the beginning of our relationship he made it clear that he would come pick me up, considering I don't have a car...That dumb knob! It's like omg you have to take a ride to go see your girlfriend even though shes the most greatful thing lol w/e people are sketchy. I just want to have fun and not care or listen to him bitch and such, but at the same time he can't cheat or lie to me. But he insistes on bitching and bitching and shit instead of playing and having a good time.... I mean it's fun when we're alone, I enjoy it but he rarely comes alone which is so stupid. Dev told me if I have to leave her at the end of the summer she is going to kill herself because she can't get through life without me, and the feeling is absolutly mutual. I am not leaving kno matter what...It's just not going to happen. There is so rare a time in life where you can find someone a friendship like me and devon have developed. We don't spend more then a few minutes away from each other. I have been talking to Danny alot lately, and I really like him. He is such a good person, like how is it that everyone else is an ass in Falmouth except this kid lol it's so surprising he doesn't have a girlfriend..anyways I'll write more later