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[happybuddha]

I pushed him away jsut like i pushed my father away, i know he could never love me like i loved him all i ask is for his friendship and now i don't even have that, why do i do things that hurt others, why must i suffer and longer. No, i shall not suffer any longer i must end it today.

Comments

Re: No.

[happybuddha]

I won't do anything i promise i won't, i want to, i truly want to so badly, but i won't because i will not do that to you, i know you would never forgive me if i did, you act like it is wrong for me to be in love with you, trust me, if i could choose i would go back and change everything where we were always just friends, because it was my love for you which pushed you away, you keep trying to deny that i am in love with you, you say both must feel it for it to be love, but the truth they don't, I love you please realize that what i feel for you is love, just because you don't love me, doesn't mean that i can't love you.
Now moving on, even though you say i have only known you for two months it feels like more you became closer to me, i trust you more than i could ever trust anyone else, you are my best friend no matter what you think, and the truth is, i still need my best friend for now, i truly do, maybe not in person at this moment, but atleast in word, so i will continue to expect messages on live journal from you and if i e-mail you i expect an answer:)
Today i am supposed to be getting an appointment with a psychologists, i really hope that will help with whatever problems i have, but i really want to see you sometimes just to say hi and stuff, maybe at pauls, maybe when just with friends, i know you will always be tehre for me, but without you i still feel so alone, i know what you are trying to do, but it still makes me feel so alone.
Aaron

Re: No.

[tobey_twink]

I love you Aaron Please believe me. But for not its better I stay away from anyone. Please understnad and continue to talk over LJ but please do not be angry or anything. I have to get over Paul and figure if I am even gay since the world doesnt seem to want that. Everyone thinks I am just some straigt boy who is wanting to be gay and it makes me so angry because I want to be gay but not straight.

Re: No.

[happybuddha]

Ryan i am sorry because i was probably the first who voiced that oppinion it was wrong of me to question yours or anyone elses sexuality (except that blonde little twink three lockers from me:)) i first said it to cope with you, the greatest insult is calling someone straight so that is how i coped. And trust me 1) if you want to be gay, no one can take that away from you and 2) you were a complete bitch to me and i know only a fag can be that big of a bitch:)
If you ever need anyone to talk to about this please call me or IM me or ask me to come over i will be there as soon as you call, and we will talk about this and other things, things we never got the chance to talk about in the first place, all things that need to be brought into the open