i need another way out!
< cut! thats what i ment by cut...you stoped...but i cant...i told you once before, its the only thing i can do...ive looked for others, but nothin else has worked! i have no chance to quit. i can feel it all bottled up inside...if i dont let it all out now, I might try to do something stupid...and selfish...but what ever. i made a new book...i saw it this morning and thought it was the first one and got freaked out for a sec. lol it was wierd...why does something so simple have to be so wrong? i guess i'll never understand...but who ever does, what brought this on? its not nice you know...to make me so sad...i talked to ashley, shes cool. i feel like that crazy person...the one that all the other ppl think is weird...weird in a bad way...you kno..the weird kind of weird...matts right, i am fuckin crazy!
< i feel like that...i like to do it...i want to do it...so why dont i? cuz its bad....fuck it! killings bad and ppl do that all the time! so why cant i just do what i wanna do to make my life feel a little fucking better? why is it that anything i want to do is bad for you or you cant do it cuz its not right! they'll keep tellin me this...i want someone to tell me its ok...i can, but no body will...so i'll have to keep a secret. i hate to have to lie to my friends...or as i'll call it "keeping a secret"
"cut my hands cut my heart tear my fuckin world apart"