afraid
i have a fear...i'm afraid it's happening again. everything was great and then all of a sudden...just like before...
i don't know if i have the courage to wait it out again...if this really is what i think it is i don't know if i can wait for it...it hurt way too much last time...and the thing is if this really is happening again...this time i'm afraid that i will hate him...thats the last thing i ever want...
hell i know that if this is happening again i wouldn't be able to wait for him...it hurt so much last time...and i know that i say now that i wouldn't be able to wait for him, but i have a feeling that if he gave me the slightest sign that he would come back i would wait for him...i know i would. i care about this person that much. hoenstly to be with out him would feel worse than most things...and i would hope that it would get easier the second time around...but i don't think it would...it would hurt more, but only because i would see it as me not learning from my mistakes...i don't know what to do...or if there is anything to do...i don't know if i'm wrong...or if i'm right...maybe i'm thinking too much...maybe i don't know...i wish i did know...i just wish he would talk to me...like really truely talk to me...tell me the things that are going on in his mind...tell me whats wrong, if anything. i don't know AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i feel like i'm in a field in the fog, and i can only see things two feet around me...but i know that there's sooo much more out there for me to see...but i can't lift the fog i just have to wait for it to go away. argh!
i don't know if i have the courage to wait it out again...if this really is what i think it is i don't know if i can wait for it...it hurt way too much last time...and the thing is if this really is happening again...this time i'm afraid that i will hate him...thats the last thing i ever want...
hell i know that if this is happening again i wouldn't be able to wait for him...it hurt so much last time...and i know that i say now that i wouldn't be able to wait for him, but i have a feeling that if he gave me the slightest sign that he would come back i would wait for him...i know i would. i care about this person that much. hoenstly to be with out him would feel worse than most things...and i would hope that it would get easier the second time around...but i don't think it would...it would hurt more, but only because i would see it as me not learning from my mistakes...i don't know what to do...or if there is anything to do...i don't know if i'm wrong...or if i'm right...maybe i'm thinking too much...maybe i don't know...i wish i did know...i just wish he would talk to me...like really truely talk to me...tell me the things that are going on in his mind...tell me whats wrong, if anything. i don't know AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i feel like i'm in a field in the fog, and i can only see things two feet around me...but i know that there's sooo much more out there for me to see...but i can't lift the fog i just have to wait for it to go away. argh!