day 07 - your best friend, in great detail
i'm a firm believer in labels. people who say they don't live by labels or that they're just people are either a) white or b) assholes. our society is constructed in such a way that our basic function is grounded in labels and categories and boxes. motherfucker, by saying you don't have a label simply labels you as privileged, pretentious and out of touch.
for me, i've found empowerment in the labels that are ascribed to be, only because it's either be empowered or depressed and the latter just ain't productive these days. i'm not saying i don't still have lots of work to do, because i do. for the rest of my life. and one of the most difficult things i have admitting are who my best friends are. the trend seems to be once i say 'x is my best friend' then we are no longer friends. shit just happens and i'm left with this "important" position in life unfulfilled. historically (lol - such a nerd) i can name superficial best friends from when i was aged in the single digits (i don't know why this got so weirdly written) but as an adult i have so many more investments in the people i surround myself with. i think that's why it's hard for me to say anyone is my best friend because that was a role that didn't mean much more than just sleep overs and note passing.
i've placed a lot of importance on longevity as a key factor in who i would deem my 'best friend' and that's bullshit because it's limiting and people change. i didn't know who i would be from the person i was 15, 10, 5 or even 3 years ago. and in the past year and a half i've made relationships with some of the most important people i've ever met. people who are honest, flawed, brave, outspoken, intimate and willing to challenge all the crazy things we've been raised to believe for unknown territory that feels more true. people who don't laugh or roll their eyes at me when i say that i believe in labels because they understand what that means on a very basic level as a person of color living in this world. there are experiences i share with these people that i'd only shared with my family - and that was because it was happening with my family. i'm a private person by nature and by experience, but having the option to share that with someone else without stipulation is something i know that is integral to what real friendship is. the people i'm describing, they're my best friends. and although sometimes i get angry or frustrated or disappointed with them, that doesn't overpower how blessed i am to have them in my life.
for me, i've found empowerment in the labels that are ascribed to be, only because it's either be empowered or depressed and the latter just ain't productive these days. i'm not saying i don't still have lots of work to do, because i do. for the rest of my life. and one of the most difficult things i have admitting are who my best friends are. the trend seems to be once i say 'x is my best friend' then we are no longer friends. shit just happens and i'm left with this "important" position in life unfulfilled. historically (lol - such a nerd) i can name superficial best friends from when i was aged in the single digits (i don't know why this got so weirdly written) but as an adult i have so many more investments in the people i surround myself with. i think that's why it's hard for me to say anyone is my best friend because that was a role that didn't mean much more than just sleep overs and note passing.
i've placed a lot of importance on longevity as a key factor in who i would deem my 'best friend' and that's bullshit because it's limiting and people change. i didn't know who i would be from the person i was 15, 10, 5 or even 3 years ago. and in the past year and a half i've made relationships with some of the most important people i've ever met. people who are honest, flawed, brave, outspoken, intimate and willing to challenge all the crazy things we've been raised to believe for unknown territory that feels more true. people who don't laugh or roll their eyes at me when i say that i believe in labels because they understand what that means on a very basic level as a person of color living in this world. there are experiences i share with these people that i'd only shared with my family - and that was because it was happening with my family. i'm a private person by nature and by experience, but having the option to share that with someone else without stipulation is something i know that is integral to what real friendship is. the people i'm describing, they're my best friends. and although sometimes i get angry or frustrated or disappointed with them, that doesn't overpower how blessed i am to have them in my life.