Day 03 - Your parents, in great detail
these are my parents (circa 1980 at their wedding reception)
i only know a few things about my parents, like how they met, which goes like this:
when my dad came to the US (specifically utah) he decided to organize a soccer team with other young korean immigrant men. he met my uncle, my mom's younger brother, through a friend and invited him to join their team. when my dad went to pick him up for practice, he saw my mom and i guess the attraction was mutual. my mom went with them to watch the practice, and a few weeks later, my dad asked my mom to church, which was huge because church is an enormous part of the korean community. the rest is history. it's a cute story and culturally very personal. i love that they were able to find each other stateside.
i also really love old photos of my parents. they let me imagine who they were before my brother and i came along.
i think my mother is a very lonely person who has trouble communicating how she feels. misunderstood is probably the most perfect word to describe how she lives because i can't even tell you what she means by what she says/does/acts. she and i are not close and i've often described my family dynamic of one as four strangers, quietly and politely living under the same roof. at my grandpa's funeral she told me she wanted to be a writer when she was young and it breaks my heart that she lives in a way that she cannot express herself. i think she's very unhappy and has recently turned to compulsive shopping to relieve her stress. my mom works really hard because she has no other option but to. my mother is a great cook. i often daydream about her mandu and kimbab. i wish i knew her as a person and not just as my mother.
i am a complete daddy's girl. my dad is loud and depending on the situation can be annoying as hell. he was a deacon in our church and is a semi-hardcore christian who isn't afraid to challenge authority. my dad has a lot of friends, likes to have a good time and sometimes drinks too much. his life isn't any easier than my mother's but while she escapes through her mother and korean dramas, he escapes through his friends and golf. my dad is very kind and outgoing and immediately likable. my aunt, my mom's sister, once told me that my style of humor is a lot like my dad's, quick and sarcastic. i thought this was incredible considering my parents and i have had a language barrier the majority of my life. the things that get passed on. recently my dad's been telling me i need to take a photo of him so when he dies he'll have a nice portrait for the funeral.
at this point in their lives, my parents really don't like each other anymore. they complain to me about how mean and stupid the other is and my dad basically lives at the dry cleaners he works at, only coming home to shower. but at this point in their lives it doesn't make sense for them to get a divorce.
i carry a lot of sadness when it comes to my parents.
(dad, brother, mom and grandma @ my brother's college graduation)
my family circa 2009.