Just sitting, just starring
So i hate life right now.
It is going by soooo fast. Its like i have a split second to grasp on to it and try to understand what it is and what is going on and then its gone. Just gone. There is no beauty in life anymore. I cant concentrate on anything anymore, i dont want to do anything, i dont want to talk to anyone, i just sit there, i was in my room, sat on my bed, and stared out my window for 2 in a half hours. Like not even thinking, just sitting, just starring, not one thing was going through my mind. I guess in a way it was kind of relaxing. But then again i just felt like so, empty.
I am seriously so depressed about growing up. I am turning 16 in 10 days... i hands down remember just turning 11, and getting my kitty. That was the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. Walking downstairs, to get ready for school, and an animal carrier at the bottom of the steps with a bow on top. I was so excited. I was so happy to turn 1 whole year older...11... and now, turning a year older, i kind of dread it, i dont want to grow up. I know we sit and say, the day i graduate, i am leaving, im not staying here. I am going so far away for college. I like, i dont know, i want to go away, but i dont want to leave this place... i love it, i hate it, i am 16 and a sophmore in highschool, and i am thinking about this, i am retarded.
♥
It is going by soooo fast. Its like i have a split second to grasp on to it and try to understand what it is and what is going on and then its gone. Just gone. There is no beauty in life anymore. I cant concentrate on anything anymore, i dont want to do anything, i dont want to talk to anyone, i just sit there, i was in my room, sat on my bed, and stared out my window for 2 in a half hours. Like not even thinking, just sitting, just starring, not one thing was going through my mind. I guess in a way it was kind of relaxing. But then again i just felt like so, empty.
I am seriously so depressed about growing up. I am turning 16 in 10 days... i hands down remember just turning 11, and getting my kitty. That was the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me. Walking downstairs, to get ready for school, and an animal carrier at the bottom of the steps with a bow on top. I was so excited. I was so happy to turn 1 whole year older...11... and now, turning a year older, i kind of dread it, i dont want to grow up. I know we sit and say, the day i graduate, i am leaving, im not staying here. I am going so far away for college. I like, i dont know, i want to go away, but i dont want to leave this place... i love it, i hate it, i am 16 and a sophmore in highschool, and i am thinking about this, i am retarded.
♥