Gashiyeon Chapter 9 [Part 2]
Its been super long since I've updated. Sorry guys! Hope you enjoy!
“I want it to look like seaweed please.”
“Sorry?”
From that questioning tone to the hair stylist that was now staring intensely at the reflection of my face through the mirror in front of me-- .
Everything was pissing me off. The AC’s too strong. Are you trying to freeze me to death in the middle of summer? And why the hell are you staring at me with that ugly face…
My gosh…I guess its possible even for people that look like you can live a normal life. I bet you’re jealous of my pretty face too. It’s written all over your face you know.
I understand so just shut up and dye my hair…I know blonde suits me just as well, but what can I do. My Yunho says he doesn’t like it.
He says he hates it because it feels like he’s shagging another bitch. He misses my trademark contrast of black against white. So change it right now. What the fuck are you doing, just standing there- didn’t I tell you to change it?!
The whole time I was getting my hair dyed, I sat there with a venomous look on my face.
Seeing my pouting lips and downcast eyes, the flocks of assistants came together and started pampering me like they would a female client.
I felt better after the princess treatment, which developed into a sudden craving for pizza. But after just a single bite, I ended up throwing aside the pizza that I had just gotten delivered.
The recollection of that day that I’d tried on those shorts and how I realized just how much weight I’d put on, stopped me from touching that pizza again. And while I was trying to fill my empty stomach with water, they managed to finish up the job with a final blow drying.
I took the polite final words of the stylist of ‘Thank you, you did well’ as a cue to take a look at the final product in the mirror.
“Hm…”
Seeing me look from side to side, inspecting the work with a dissatisfied look on my face, the stylist went ahead and tried to reassure me that black really did look a lot better on me afterall.
My white skin seemed to glow even brighter against the contrast of my dark hair that matched the pitch black of my eyes. I gently bit my lips.
Stimulated by my pearly white teeth, the blood pooled back into my lips, bringing the red tint with it. White, black and crimson. I was incomparably beautiful. Just like Jung Yunho said, black made me sparkle even more.
I felt pleasure, as if I’d regained myself in a way. I’d already known it.
By bowels churned in rage. Not because I was displeased with how it’d turned out, but rather because I knew that this new hair suited me better after all. Jung Yunho knew me better than I knew myself….
Bastard... I’m going to bite that fucking gorgeous face off.
◈
“Oh, Jaejoong…your hair!...”
“Why, does it look odd?!”
“No…It’s not that…”
It was hot. It was hot outside, but the artificial cold inside the house was what brought along the throbbing in my head with it.
Seeing her waiting for me at the end of the hallway instead of disappearing back into the house after opening the door for me, my headache got even worse.
Things had gotten messed up, starting from back at the hair salon.
She paused in hesitation as I shot viciously back at her words, annoyed at her interest in my hair.
Realizing that I wasn’t in the best of moods, she remained quiet all the way back into the living room.
Considering the only thing I had eaten today on my, first in a very long time, excursion, it was no wonder that that the world looked like it was spinning before my eyes.
While I was moving towards the kitchen, thinking that maybe at least quenching my parched throat would help, a particularly intense bout of dizziness hit me.
In an attempt to slim down my thighs, I’d stubbornly walked that whole long way in this smoldering heat. I was definitely regretting it now.
She absolutely flipped, seeing the troubled expression on my face as I tried to gather my breath, clutching on to the side of the kitchen table.
She stood pale and with brows furrowed.
The cause was undoubtedly my irregular eating due to a pain that persisted from well before having had my wisdom teeth out.
Even my jaw was hurting. As I curled up my body with a hand clutching at my stomach, she took a sharp intake of breath, and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.
“Ahhh…”
“Are you alright? Jaejoong! Do you have any sort of medications you’re on? If not, then we should get you to the hospital right away. My gosh…”
She gentled dabbed at the beads of sweat that had formed on my forehead with the fluttery sleeves of her own shirt.
She even bothered to push aside the stray hairs that were sticking to my forehead with her thread-like, slender fingers. But even so, I didn’t appreciate the kindness.
The urge to just twist that skinny wrist of hers struck me. Bright blonde hair. .
I wonder if Yunho had pictured her as he’d held me. I wonder if he’d pictured me as he’d held her. I wanted to ask him that. I should have sooner.
My jealously had the extremely clever talent of growing and expanding; it could turn anything from imagination to reality.
That’s why Jung Yunho really shouldn’t have spewed such crap in the first place.
“I want to see him…”
“…Sorry?”
Foolish woman. Don’t you realize that I’m calling out for him even in a situation like this? You’re not supposed to be looking at me with such naïve eyes right now.
I’d like you to please realize just who you’re trying to help here--who I am.
It’d probably be in your best interest to know in advance what kind of a person I am to your husband Jung Yunho. You see, I’m not as nice nor am I as soft as you are.
It was that side of me that Jung Yunho had both loved yet hated.
It’s because those mixed feelings, as closely coinciding as two sides a sheet of paper that he hasn’t been able to leave me until now. And that’s also why he’ll never be able to do so.
After a bit of rest, lying on the sofa, both the aching in my stomach as well as the dizziness subsided. She was off, making some soft gruel to soothe my stomach.
In reality, it had only been a few days since she’d last made some for me. Yet maybe because so many things had happened since then, it felt like it was in the distant past.
A day felt like a second, yet also like a year whenever she wasn’t around.
Even though time tried desperately to throw itself in the path of our war-like romance, we couldn’t be interrupted. Time did not exist for us.
We’d expressed the sorrow and longing of having been apart for 2 long years with our bodies, even forgetting to eat. I missed him.
It had only been a day since we’d last connected yet I already missed him so much that I felt myself getting depressed.
Maybe she’d predicted a mood swing from me like the other day, but this time she made sure to take the time to blow off some of the steam coming from the spoonful of gruel.
The rich scent of sesame oil and seeds permeated the room. My mouth started to water. Seeing that I’d gotten up to take it myself, unable to resist any longer, she handed me the spoon right away.
I took the tray with the food from her and rested it on my lap. Waiting until it was sufficiently cooled, I moved the spoon into my mouth.
Ah... The gruel against my tongue was neither too hot nor too cold. As I took the first bite, more than my deprived stomach, it was her that was even more overjoyed.
After a few more enthusiastic spoonfuls from me, her expression melted even further into a gentle gaze. She looked at me almost like a proud mother.
It was a strange feeling. The image of my mother’s face that appeared in my mind was blacked out.
I couldn’t remember her sharp eyes from behind her glasses that would undoubtedly have been fixated on me from her usual spot in her chair, book in hand.
“Maybe it’s not my place to say this but…”
As soon as I’d laid down after finishing about half the bowl, her voice alerted my attention. I already knew the words that were going to come out of her mouth.
More than it was a feeling, it was a certainty. Her expression told it all.
“It looks worlds better than before.”
I’d already suspected that her attention would be fixated on my hair when I came back. Instead of her trademark blonde, they were strands of healthy, shiny black.
Her whole body language was exuding her amazement.
“I think you look even prettier than me…”
“I know.”
So you don’t have to let me know. But what I really wanted to hear weren’t your compliments. It was Yunho’s sweet words of adoration.
I knew that everything-my stomach, head, everything, was going to be hurting until I’d heard it. I was looking forward to Yunho’s passionate embrace, wrapping up my pretty little self.
Even tonight, instead of you, the wife, Yunho will come looking for me, his lover… Have you ever felt a thirst like that before?
Having cut off the flow of the conversation with my last remark, the atmosphere had gotten quite repulsive. Now, what would be a reasonable change of topic?
While brainstorming, my eyes fell on his and her wedding portrait, stood up beside the TV. It was one of the things I wanted to purge from this house.
The fact that it was even in their bedroom shoved my mind into an abyss of confusion and uncertainty.
Immortalized in that moment, were the images of her, caught in a moment of joyous laughter, and a slightly plumper Yunho from a time unfamiliar to me.
It was ironic to me that there was something I didn’t know about his life.
I wondered if she was truly happy. I wondered if she was really as happy as her smile looked in that portrait. I wondered what kind of thoughts and feelings were running through her head as she took that photo.
I wondered how it must have felt to wear that pure white gown, that veil. Things that I could never hope to do no matter how long I lived-she’d gone through the whole checklist in the short time that I’d been absent from Yunho’s life. She’d gotten immortalized in a wedding portrait with him and had borne his child.
I wondered if she, who had everything that I could never hope to possess, could call herself happy.
“Suh-Hee…”
I laughed. There was no way you’d be happy. You won’t be able to find happiness as a wife, not from Yunho. At least not as long as I’m alive
I lost interest in whether or not the life you’d had with him was amazing or miserable. As if I’d meant to from the very beginning, I eliminated all thoughts related to the topic of ‘Her Marriage’ from my mind. Now freed from useless, stray thoughts, other parts of me came up with a whole new kind of thought.
My curiosity grew to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned to her with eyes full of questions.
“So, how did you guys end up getting married?”
I’m a person with a lot of questions-
About my man Jung Yunho from the 2 years that I was gone.
“I want it to look like seaweed please.”
“Sorry?”
From that questioning tone to the hair stylist that was now staring intensely at the reflection of my face through the mirror in front of me-- .
Everything was pissing me off. The AC’s too strong. Are you trying to freeze me to death in the middle of summer? And why the hell are you staring at me with that ugly face…
My gosh…I guess its possible even for people that look like you can live a normal life. I bet you’re jealous of my pretty face too. It’s written all over your face you know.
I understand so just shut up and dye my hair…I know blonde suits me just as well, but what can I do. My Yunho says he doesn’t like it.
He says he hates it because it feels like he’s shagging another bitch. He misses my trademark contrast of black against white. So change it right now. What the fuck are you doing, just standing there- didn’t I tell you to change it?!
The whole time I was getting my hair dyed, I sat there with a venomous look on my face.
Seeing my pouting lips and downcast eyes, the flocks of assistants came together and started pampering me like they would a female client.
I felt better after the princess treatment, which developed into a sudden craving for pizza. But after just a single bite, I ended up throwing aside the pizza that I had just gotten delivered.
The recollection of that day that I’d tried on those shorts and how I realized just how much weight I’d put on, stopped me from touching that pizza again. And while I was trying to fill my empty stomach with water, they managed to finish up the job with a final blow drying.
I took the polite final words of the stylist of ‘Thank you, you did well’ as a cue to take a look at the final product in the mirror.
“Hm…”
Seeing me look from side to side, inspecting the work with a dissatisfied look on my face, the stylist went ahead and tried to reassure me that black really did look a lot better on me afterall.
My white skin seemed to glow even brighter against the contrast of my dark hair that matched the pitch black of my eyes. I gently bit my lips.
Stimulated by my pearly white teeth, the blood pooled back into my lips, bringing the red tint with it. White, black and crimson. I was incomparably beautiful. Just like Jung Yunho said, black made me sparkle even more.
I felt pleasure, as if I’d regained myself in a way. I’d already known it.
By bowels churned in rage. Not because I was displeased with how it’d turned out, but rather because I knew that this new hair suited me better after all. Jung Yunho knew me better than I knew myself….
Bastard... I’m going to bite that fucking gorgeous face off.
◈
“Oh, Jaejoong…your hair!...”
“Why, does it look odd?!”
“No…It’s not that…”
It was hot. It was hot outside, but the artificial cold inside the house was what brought along the throbbing in my head with it.
Seeing her waiting for me at the end of the hallway instead of disappearing back into the house after opening the door for me, my headache got even worse.
Things had gotten messed up, starting from back at the hair salon.
She paused in hesitation as I shot viciously back at her words, annoyed at her interest in my hair.
Realizing that I wasn’t in the best of moods, she remained quiet all the way back into the living room.
Considering the only thing I had eaten today on my, first in a very long time, excursion, it was no wonder that that the world looked like it was spinning before my eyes.
While I was moving towards the kitchen, thinking that maybe at least quenching my parched throat would help, a particularly intense bout of dizziness hit me.
In an attempt to slim down my thighs, I’d stubbornly walked that whole long way in this smoldering heat. I was definitely regretting it now.
She absolutely flipped, seeing the troubled expression on my face as I tried to gather my breath, clutching on to the side of the kitchen table.
She stood pale and with brows furrowed.
The cause was undoubtedly my irregular eating due to a pain that persisted from well before having had my wisdom teeth out.
Even my jaw was hurting. As I curled up my body with a hand clutching at my stomach, she took a sharp intake of breath, and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.
“Ahhh…”
“Are you alright? Jaejoong! Do you have any sort of medications you’re on? If not, then we should get you to the hospital right away. My gosh…”
She gentled dabbed at the beads of sweat that had formed on my forehead with the fluttery sleeves of her own shirt.
She even bothered to push aside the stray hairs that were sticking to my forehead with her thread-like, slender fingers. But even so, I didn’t appreciate the kindness.
The urge to just twist that skinny wrist of hers struck me. Bright blonde hair. .
I wonder if Yunho had pictured her as he’d held me. I wonder if he’d pictured me as he’d held her. I wanted to ask him that. I should have sooner.
My jealously had the extremely clever talent of growing and expanding; it could turn anything from imagination to reality.
That’s why Jung Yunho really shouldn’t have spewed such crap in the first place.
“I want to see him…”
“…Sorry?”
Foolish woman. Don’t you realize that I’m calling out for him even in a situation like this? You’re not supposed to be looking at me with such naïve eyes right now.
I’d like you to please realize just who you’re trying to help here--who I am.
It’d probably be in your best interest to know in advance what kind of a person I am to your husband Jung Yunho. You see, I’m not as nice nor am I as soft as you are.
It was that side of me that Jung Yunho had both loved yet hated.
It’s because those mixed feelings, as closely coinciding as two sides a sheet of paper that he hasn’t been able to leave me until now. And that’s also why he’ll never be able to do so.
After a bit of rest, lying on the sofa, both the aching in my stomach as well as the dizziness subsided. She was off, making some soft gruel to soothe my stomach.
In reality, it had only been a few days since she’d last made some for me. Yet maybe because so many things had happened since then, it felt like it was in the distant past.
A day felt like a second, yet also like a year whenever she wasn’t around.
Even though time tried desperately to throw itself in the path of our war-like romance, we couldn’t be interrupted. Time did not exist for us.
We’d expressed the sorrow and longing of having been apart for 2 long years with our bodies, even forgetting to eat. I missed him.
It had only been a day since we’d last connected yet I already missed him so much that I felt myself getting depressed.
Maybe she’d predicted a mood swing from me like the other day, but this time she made sure to take the time to blow off some of the steam coming from the spoonful of gruel.
The rich scent of sesame oil and seeds permeated the room. My mouth started to water. Seeing that I’d gotten up to take it myself, unable to resist any longer, she handed me the spoon right away.
I took the tray with the food from her and rested it on my lap. Waiting until it was sufficiently cooled, I moved the spoon into my mouth.
Ah... The gruel against my tongue was neither too hot nor too cold. As I took the first bite, more than my deprived stomach, it was her that was even more overjoyed.
After a few more enthusiastic spoonfuls from me, her expression melted even further into a gentle gaze. She looked at me almost like a proud mother.
It was a strange feeling. The image of my mother’s face that appeared in my mind was blacked out.
I couldn’t remember her sharp eyes from behind her glasses that would undoubtedly have been fixated on me from her usual spot in her chair, book in hand.
“Maybe it’s not my place to say this but…”
As soon as I’d laid down after finishing about half the bowl, her voice alerted my attention. I already knew the words that were going to come out of her mouth.
More than it was a feeling, it was a certainty. Her expression told it all.
“It looks worlds better than before.”
I’d already suspected that her attention would be fixated on my hair when I came back. Instead of her trademark blonde, they were strands of healthy, shiny black.
Her whole body language was exuding her amazement.
“I think you look even prettier than me…”
“I know.”
So you don’t have to let me know. But what I really wanted to hear weren’t your compliments. It was Yunho’s sweet words of adoration.
I knew that everything-my stomach, head, everything, was going to be hurting until I’d heard it. I was looking forward to Yunho’s passionate embrace, wrapping up my pretty little self.
Even tonight, instead of you, the wife, Yunho will come looking for me, his lover… Have you ever felt a thirst like that before?
Having cut off the flow of the conversation with my last remark, the atmosphere had gotten quite repulsive. Now, what would be a reasonable change of topic?
While brainstorming, my eyes fell on his and her wedding portrait, stood up beside the TV. It was one of the things I wanted to purge from this house.
The fact that it was even in their bedroom shoved my mind into an abyss of confusion and uncertainty.
Immortalized in that moment, were the images of her, caught in a moment of joyous laughter, and a slightly plumper Yunho from a time unfamiliar to me.
It was ironic to me that there was something I didn’t know about his life.
I wondered if she was truly happy. I wondered if she was really as happy as her smile looked in that portrait. I wondered what kind of thoughts and feelings were running through her head as she took that photo.
I wondered how it must have felt to wear that pure white gown, that veil. Things that I could never hope to do no matter how long I lived-she’d gone through the whole checklist in the short time that I’d been absent from Yunho’s life. She’d gotten immortalized in a wedding portrait with him and had borne his child.
I wondered if she, who had everything that I could never hope to possess, could call herself happy.
“Suh-Hee…”
I laughed. There was no way you’d be happy. You won’t be able to find happiness as a wife, not from Yunho. At least not as long as I’m alive
I lost interest in whether or not the life you’d had with him was amazing or miserable. As if I’d meant to from the very beginning, I eliminated all thoughts related to the topic of ‘Her Marriage’ from my mind. Now freed from useless, stray thoughts, other parts of me came up with a whole new kind of thought.
My curiosity grew to the point where I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned to her with eyes full of questions.
“So, how did you guys end up getting married?”
I’m a person with a lot of questions-
About my man Jung Yunho from the 2 years that I was gone.