(no subject)
Warning: Rant about my mental health.
You know, I think that my mother has no idea about just how insane parts of my mind are, I mean, she knows I have trouble with communication and outside but she doesn't get the amount of crazy about completely mundane and insignificant things. I just had a twenty minute meltdown because she made me dinner. Now this was a nice thing to do by normal people standards, I am the cooking person in my house and for very good reason since I'm clearly insane and so it was a thoughtful and pleasant thing for her to do but the problem was that she made it (to my insane mind) wrong. It was simple, nothing actually wrong about it to any sane person, pork, mashed potato and sweetcorn with some gravy. But oh the panic it managed to induce in me. For you see, to my completely irrational brain it was completely inedible because pork steaks are not meant to be cooked in the oven but should instead be cut up and stir-fried and served with rice. And mashed potato only ever goes with lamb steaks. And oxo-cube gravy is just very, very wrong under all circumstances. And the sweetcorn was touching the potato. And the spoon was a spoon for stirring tea not eating pudding. (There was also a mini trifle, the spoon was for that not the pork.)
So yep, major crazy person meltdown. Took me five minutes to be able to look at it long enough to take it back in the kitchen. And to get the right kind of spoon. So now I can eat my mini trifle thing like a crazy person. And make a meal I can eat without having a spasm when my mum has gone out.
Sometimes I really fucking hate my brain.