Christmas Joy
I have a lot to be joyous about. I feel like this year, the Christmas season has been a lot different for me in years past. I have a job, in which I work with kids who perhaps do not have a really nice Christmas like I do. The reality of their lives really sets in, especially now. It makes my heart ache for them, and there is nothing I can do for them at home. But I can provide for them a safe, caring environment at school. I think that watching them struggle and fight for attention, whether it be positive or negative (mostly negative with certain kids) also makes me feel more appreciative of my family, of my provisions, of my Christmastime.
This year I got to sing in FAC's choir for the Christmas concert. It was a lot of fun, and made me miss singing in the Lamplighters choir at WU. One of our songs was "O Holy Night" (Trevor, go ahead, you can make fun of me again here! ;) and I decided that it is my theme for this Christmas. It is because I feel very humbled by God. I have been blessed with more than I deserve.
I also was asked to sing in a women's quartet/double trio for a senior christmas dinner at FAC, to which I agreed, and had a lot of fun preparing for. I've never sang in a group that small, and FAC is known for quality when it comes to music performances. As the day approached, I got more excited about it, though a little nervous. It ended up sounding great; we have a wonderful blend. Sometimes I couldn't even tell where our voices seperated because they sounded as one. I had to hold a microphone, which I hate, but I might as well get used to it because we will be singing more after the christmas season. :) I've also gotten to connect somewhat with five other women (plus the pianist-that makes six) which as been nice. I'm the youngest in the group by far, so sometimes I feel out of place, but it's interesting to work with women who are a lot wiser than me. ;) I will be sad when I have to leave them in July as well as my workplace. :(
This year I will be spending Christmas at Trevor's home. I have never spent that day with anyone but my family, so it feels really strange. I'm breaking out of our traditional celebration for the first time. I am excited about it, though. I look forward to spending Christmas with the love of my life and with his family. I havn't met anyone aside from his immediate family, so I think that will be good for me to meet others. I know that on that day I will be missing my family, but I am confident that it will be a joyous occasion just the same. It always is when I'm with Trevor, wherever we go. :)
This year I am engaged, and that alone brings me a wellspring of joy :)
Back to my work at Sarah Reed. I'm not sure how many people actually know what I do, so I thought I'd write a little more about that. I teach children who have social and emotional problems like ADHD, ODD, mood disorders, anxiety, and agression. They are wonderful little kids who need a lot of help. :) I'm not going to sugar coat my job, though. It is hard, it is emotionally draining, it is frustrating, and sometimes it feels like no progress is being made. However, it is rewarding, above all else. These are children that need "extra help" and attention, and here, they can get it. I've worked hard on smoothing out all the kinks in my classroom with my co-teacher, and it has really paid off. We work well together, and our classroom has really shaped up in comparison to when I started in August. I have a confidence with this job that I have never had before, and I have found a teaching voice that I never thought I would use. Teaching these children has brought out a lot of good qualities in me that I did not even know I had. Day after day, moment by moment, the day can go from bad to worse or good to bad or good to better in an instant. I have to be prepared for anything. I have to adjust my plans to their needs. Sometimes, my job is even scary to me, especially when the children become agressive. They are only four and five, but when they are angry and ready to lash out, watch out. I am trained to place kids in holds, if need be, but so far I have not had to use one. One of the most interesting components to my job is the time out room. When kids need to take a break because their emotions are wild, they are sent in that room to calm down. When they do, a teacher comes to talk to them (and we check on them often, too). Then, they rejoin the group. This helps them learn how to control their emotions. Several kids in my room have learned how to calm themselves down well.
You would not believe some of the things my children have experienced in life already. Because of confidentiality, I cannot say them here, but it pains my heart when I find out what they have been through. It makes me angry, too. In a lot of ways, I do get angry at my job often. I'm not an angry person. I'm rather calm. But dealing with anger has been a challenge for me at this job. Especially when my students make me angry.
Often times I go home, spent. I sleep a lot more than I used to. On the weekends, I rest. I appreciate weekends a lot more now, too.
And then, in July, I will have to leave Sarah Reed, and the Frog classroom. It will be bittersweet for sure.
This December, I have been in two car accidents. The first one resulted in someone smashing my bumper in. No big deal, my car is not worth fixing that. I did get a good chunk of money from it, though. The second involved me driving home late one night and it was snowing hard. I went on a road I should not have gone on, and ended up not being able to make it up the hill. I was sliding all over the road. My dad came and couldn't do anything for me with his truck; he was sliding too. So he guided me down the hilll very slowly. However, a car was coming down the hill, so my dad had to drive off. The car coming down the hill slid several times on the road, and nearly (and may have) hit me. I have never been so scared in my life. I have never cried so fearfully in my life. After that, my nerves were shot, so we called the police and a tow truck. The tow truck came. The driver determined that HE couldn't do anything because of how much HE was slipping! So my dad bravely backed my car down the hill and we all drove home.
After that, my car had been on the fritz, so I took it to the garage this week. After checking it out, the mechanic determined that my car is undrivable. There is so much wrong with it. So, now I have the task of finding a new car. I knew it was coming; the little '94 corsica miraculously made it a lot farther than I thought it would, anyway. I am so thankful for the gift of it last year, but now it is done. :(
So, there is an update on myself. Wedding planning has been put on a hold a bit because december has been so busy for me, but in January I will start again. :)
This year I got to sing in FAC's choir for the Christmas concert. It was a lot of fun, and made me miss singing in the Lamplighters choir at WU. One of our songs was "O Holy Night" (Trevor, go ahead, you can make fun of me again here! ;) and I decided that it is my theme for this Christmas. It is because I feel very humbled by God. I have been blessed with more than I deserve.
I also was asked to sing in a women's quartet/double trio for a senior christmas dinner at FAC, to which I agreed, and had a lot of fun preparing for. I've never sang in a group that small, and FAC is known for quality when it comes to music performances. As the day approached, I got more excited about it, though a little nervous. It ended up sounding great; we have a wonderful blend. Sometimes I couldn't even tell where our voices seperated because they sounded as one. I had to hold a microphone, which I hate, but I might as well get used to it because we will be singing more after the christmas season. :) I've also gotten to connect somewhat with five other women (plus the pianist-that makes six) which as been nice. I'm the youngest in the group by far, so sometimes I feel out of place, but it's interesting to work with women who are a lot wiser than me. ;) I will be sad when I have to leave them in July as well as my workplace. :(
This year I will be spending Christmas at Trevor's home. I have never spent that day with anyone but my family, so it feels really strange. I'm breaking out of our traditional celebration for the first time. I am excited about it, though. I look forward to spending Christmas with the love of my life and with his family. I havn't met anyone aside from his immediate family, so I think that will be good for me to meet others. I know that on that day I will be missing my family, but I am confident that it will be a joyous occasion just the same. It always is when I'm with Trevor, wherever we go. :)
This year I am engaged, and that alone brings me a wellspring of joy :)
Back to my work at Sarah Reed. I'm not sure how many people actually know what I do, so I thought I'd write a little more about that. I teach children who have social and emotional problems like ADHD, ODD, mood disorders, anxiety, and agression. They are wonderful little kids who need a lot of help. :) I'm not going to sugar coat my job, though. It is hard, it is emotionally draining, it is frustrating, and sometimes it feels like no progress is being made. However, it is rewarding, above all else. These are children that need "extra help" and attention, and here, they can get it. I've worked hard on smoothing out all the kinks in my classroom with my co-teacher, and it has really paid off. We work well together, and our classroom has really shaped up in comparison to when I started in August. I have a confidence with this job that I have never had before, and I have found a teaching voice that I never thought I would use. Teaching these children has brought out a lot of good qualities in me that I did not even know I had. Day after day, moment by moment, the day can go from bad to worse or good to bad or good to better in an instant. I have to be prepared for anything. I have to adjust my plans to their needs. Sometimes, my job is even scary to me, especially when the children become agressive. They are only four and five, but when they are angry and ready to lash out, watch out. I am trained to place kids in holds, if need be, but so far I have not had to use one. One of the most interesting components to my job is the time out room. When kids need to take a break because their emotions are wild, they are sent in that room to calm down. When they do, a teacher comes to talk to them (and we check on them often, too). Then, they rejoin the group. This helps them learn how to control their emotions. Several kids in my room have learned how to calm themselves down well.
You would not believe some of the things my children have experienced in life already. Because of confidentiality, I cannot say them here, but it pains my heart when I find out what they have been through. It makes me angry, too. In a lot of ways, I do get angry at my job often. I'm not an angry person. I'm rather calm. But dealing with anger has been a challenge for me at this job. Especially when my students make me angry.
Often times I go home, spent. I sleep a lot more than I used to. On the weekends, I rest. I appreciate weekends a lot more now, too.
And then, in July, I will have to leave Sarah Reed, and the Frog classroom. It will be bittersweet for sure.
This December, I have been in two car accidents. The first one resulted in someone smashing my bumper in. No big deal, my car is not worth fixing that. I did get a good chunk of money from it, though. The second involved me driving home late one night and it was snowing hard. I went on a road I should not have gone on, and ended up not being able to make it up the hill. I was sliding all over the road. My dad came and couldn't do anything for me with his truck; he was sliding too. So he guided me down the hilll very slowly. However, a car was coming down the hill, so my dad had to drive off. The car coming down the hill slid several times on the road, and nearly (and may have) hit me. I have never been so scared in my life. I have never cried so fearfully in my life. After that, my nerves were shot, so we called the police and a tow truck. The tow truck came. The driver determined that HE couldn't do anything because of how much HE was slipping! So my dad bravely backed my car down the hill and we all drove home.
After that, my car had been on the fritz, so I took it to the garage this week. After checking it out, the mechanic determined that my car is undrivable. There is so much wrong with it. So, now I have the task of finding a new car. I knew it was coming; the little '94 corsica miraculously made it a lot farther than I thought it would, anyway. I am so thankful for the gift of it last year, but now it is done. :(
So, there is an update on myself. Wedding planning has been put on a hold a bit because december has been so busy for me, but in January I will start again. :)