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[happinessboys]

[Spoken like he's reading a grocery list:]

Your nose and ears never stop growing.

Jupiter is bigger than all the other planets combined.

Hot water is heavier than cold.

No piece of normal-size paper can be folded in half more than 7 times.

Natural pearls melt in vinegar.

[Back to normal speech. He's calm. Civil. But oh so very patronizing

Comments

[leadsthestars]

I work in the library. Are you Beatty?

[happinessboys]

Captain Beatty, yes.

How did you know?

[leadsthestars]

I was told about you, Captain Beatty.

[happinessboys]

Nothing good, I'm sure.

Indulge me. What were you told?

[leadsthestars]

That I should not let you in my library. You would not like my rules.

[happinessboys]

Oh, Rules, she says. What are these rules, then? Go on.

[leadsthestars]

Books and the library are to be treated with respect. It is a sacred place, and the books are precious.

If you damage them, I damage you.

[happinessboys]

I only wish to bring happiness. But, you, my dear, are content to prevent that.

[leadsthestars]

What do you call happiness?

[happinessboys]

The state of being happy. Content with what you have and where you are. Unafraid. Coherent. Stable.

[leadsthestars]

I am content to prevent you from spreading contentment?

Only if you are dishonoring the sacred space, Captain Beatty. The knowledge. The books. Destruction can bring contentment, but not the destruction of the library. That will bring suffering. Displeasure. Unhappiness.

[happinessboys]

Threatening me will do you no good. I've done nothing wrong.

[leadsthestars]

I am not threatening you. We're having a discussion.

[happinessboys]

Forgive me. Librarians are known for being so quick to judge.

[leadsthestars]

I will only judge you by your actions.

[happinessboys]

Appreciated.

Are you an inmate?