psychiatrics
long one tonite.
edit: so long in fact that i think i need to lj cut this.
this is really long, get a cup of coffee or something.
some man once said that the 3 most emotionally insecure people are bodybuilders, politicians, and psychiatrists. I think i definitely fit in to the psychiatrist part. the wierd thing is that i make connections all over the place to LAST year, which by nowaday standards wasnt as bad as i first made out to be. yes, i might have attempted suicide last year, but nowadays, i think im taking the same beating, yet am still able to withstand it. the glory of the human body. maybe its this picture.
could be, in fact, that i AM thinking about that man, and how sad and in pain he must be. what a wierd world. Anyways, i guess the moral this year was to "not keep your hopes up". this isnt just refrencing the most current situation, to all you non-me people. its happened multiple times, hell, even in the last month. sometimes i think people are just searching for highschool drama, y'know? it reminds me of all those kids fighting back freshman year, except this is worse. this is maximum-mind-fuckery (you can look that up in a psychiatrists textbook). now, if you think this is pointed at you, it isnt. its pointed at many many people. so no "blah blah blah stop blaming me, i didnt know, i couldnt help it" bs, i dont give a fuck about whoever you are, more than one person did it, so much in fact, that its like meshing together. ive rambled too long, time for a picture.
k now that thats over, i may continue. So yeah, i learned alot the past year, some good, many bad. I now know not to get my hopes up, for they can be dashed any second. also, i learned that failure isnt so hard if you witness it many times. Stats has battered me around, so has english to an extent. i just wake up sometimes and just think "fuck it, if life gets too bad, i can just put a stop to it, fuck school." which, ironically, probably is what alot of seniors think (with the exception of killing yourself to end school). I even found an inspiriational photo for me to use for my life. I think i will hang this up at my job, because, by the way things are going, im going to start slacking and start fucking up.
Failure is indeed my style. dont get the new gorillaz cd. anyhoo. i suppose my life is much better than, say, those of nigeria, where the sand flows freely. however, at this impasse in life, i am seriously starting to burn out. You all think "oh blah blah blah, same thing has happened in my life" well truth is, it hasnt. Youve never been a follower, someone who had so much potential, then started just to fall. more people keep pushing me and pushing me farther down, and all i can do is spiral down. there have been significant landmarks in my life, all winding up to where i am in this point in life. your life isnt constantly bombarded by friends and enemies alike, unbeknowest, sinking you lower and lower into the mess of my life. yes. i said it. friends along with enemies have mind-fucked me badly. whether you know it or not, you have. and im not talking a couple people. im so insecure in my life, that any human interaction eventually turns into some sort of farce (i learned that word from mrs harknett. shes a bitch. i dont even know what it really means, i think its a humorous situation, but in this case, its a fight.) over some trivial thing. and its happened to every singly one of you. this is all i have to look foreward to.
i sure hope i can. maybe i can find a way to erase my highschool life like in eternal sunshine. oh one more thing, if it seems like i give a fuck about your social life and social status, and your parental status, and so forth, i really dont give a flying fuck. im selfish that way, in the sense that im starting to care only about myself. iunno, more and more each day, im starting to lose faith in humanity. ive turned away from life as a child, and grown up into a life as an adult.
(picture shown is not an accurate representation of Harrison Ng and any of his moods.)
where i learn that i dont need anybody. i hope not to have any friends, whatsoever, when i become older. only me and my wife, like my mom and dad. they are happy together, thats all they need. im slowly coming to the conclusion that i do not need any of you. remember when i said i was just a bump along the way? well i was wrong. you guys are a bump in my way. maybe this is my way of saying im gonna stop hanging out with people. maybe im saying i dont give a fuck about any of you. well, i guess its half true. i know i dont give a fuck about you, but hell, im bored, so lets do crazy chit. when i get older, i can replace you guys with some sort of debilitating drug, like booze or a job.
Thats me as a police officer. see what i did there? i mixed both debilitating objects together to form some sort of mind-forgetting drug. well. i guess ill just have to deal with the harships of life. i guess my message for today is "i dont give a fuck about you, and you better damn well not give a fuck about me. lets be happy, and not get into eachothers life." and also i hope you learn one more thing "when harrison leaves for college, i know damn well that hes never seeing us again" if you said that i would never be a bump in the road, well too bad. i just became one whether you like it or not.
so be happy while you still have me! when i leave, its goodbye forever! im looking foreward to leaving these days behind! :D
anybody posting anything remotely trying to change my mind will be removed from my friends list and from aim and from my cell phone. haha! see! i dont give a fuck about you or anybody else! im so cynical!
Edit: one more thing, i took it from zachs LJ
American Cities That Best Fit You:
60% San Francisco 55% Austin 55% Denver 55% Honolulu 55% Portland
Which American Cities Best Fit You?
i belong in san francisco because im such a flaming homosexual. and i said i wanted to be in a fit city. Austin, Texas is not exactaly a fit city. in fact, i put so many anti-texan things that, why the hell is austin even on the list. i hate texas.
bye bye now! lets hope we never meet again! :D
edit: so long in fact that i think i need to lj cut this.
this is really long, get a cup of coffee or something.
some man once said that the 3 most emotionally insecure people are bodybuilders, politicians, and psychiatrists. I think i definitely fit in to the psychiatrist part. the wierd thing is that i make connections all over the place to LAST year, which by nowaday standards wasnt as bad as i first made out to be. yes, i might have attempted suicide last year, but nowadays, i think im taking the same beating, yet am still able to withstand it. the glory of the human body. maybe its this picture.
could be, in fact, that i AM thinking about that man, and how sad and in pain he must be. what a wierd world. Anyways, i guess the moral this year was to "not keep your hopes up". this isnt just refrencing the most current situation, to all you non-me people. its happened multiple times, hell, even in the last month. sometimes i think people are just searching for highschool drama, y'know? it reminds me of all those kids fighting back freshman year, except this is worse. this is maximum-mind-fuckery (you can look that up in a psychiatrists textbook). now, if you think this is pointed at you, it isnt. its pointed at many many people. so no "blah blah blah stop blaming me, i didnt know, i couldnt help it" bs, i dont give a fuck about whoever you are, more than one person did it, so much in fact, that its like meshing together. ive rambled too long, time for a picture.
k now that thats over, i may continue. So yeah, i learned alot the past year, some good, many bad. I now know not to get my hopes up, for they can be dashed any second. also, i learned that failure isnt so hard if you witness it many times. Stats has battered me around, so has english to an extent. i just wake up sometimes and just think "fuck it, if life gets too bad, i can just put a stop to it, fuck school." which, ironically, probably is what alot of seniors think (with the exception of killing yourself to end school). I even found an inspiriational photo for me to use for my life. I think i will hang this up at my job, because, by the way things are going, im going to start slacking and start fucking up.
Failure is indeed my style. dont get the new gorillaz cd. anyhoo. i suppose my life is much better than, say, those of nigeria, where the sand flows freely. however, at this impasse in life, i am seriously starting to burn out. You all think "oh blah blah blah, same thing has happened in my life" well truth is, it hasnt. Youve never been a follower, someone who had so much potential, then started just to fall. more people keep pushing me and pushing me farther down, and all i can do is spiral down. there have been significant landmarks in my life, all winding up to where i am in this point in life. your life isnt constantly bombarded by friends and enemies alike, unbeknowest, sinking you lower and lower into the mess of my life. yes. i said it. friends along with enemies have mind-fucked me badly. whether you know it or not, you have. and im not talking a couple people. im so insecure in my life, that any human interaction eventually turns into some sort of farce (i learned that word from mrs harknett. shes a bitch. i dont even know what it really means, i think its a humorous situation, but in this case, its a fight.) over some trivial thing. and its happened to every singly one of you. this is all i have to look foreward to.
i sure hope i can. maybe i can find a way to erase my highschool life like in eternal sunshine. oh one more thing, if it seems like i give a fuck about your social life and social status, and your parental status, and so forth, i really dont give a flying fuck. im selfish that way, in the sense that im starting to care only about myself. iunno, more and more each day, im starting to lose faith in humanity. ive turned away from life as a child, and grown up into a life as an adult.
(picture shown is not an accurate representation of Harrison Ng and any of his moods.)
where i learn that i dont need anybody. i hope not to have any friends, whatsoever, when i become older. only me and my wife, like my mom and dad. they are happy together, thats all they need. im slowly coming to the conclusion that i do not need any of you. remember when i said i was just a bump along the way? well i was wrong. you guys are a bump in my way. maybe this is my way of saying im gonna stop hanging out with people. maybe im saying i dont give a fuck about any of you. well, i guess its half true. i know i dont give a fuck about you, but hell, im bored, so lets do crazy chit. when i get older, i can replace you guys with some sort of debilitating drug, like booze or a job.
Thats me as a police officer. see what i did there? i mixed both debilitating objects together to form some sort of mind-forgetting drug. well. i guess ill just have to deal with the harships of life. i guess my message for today is "i dont give a fuck about you, and you better damn well not give a fuck about me. lets be happy, and not get into eachothers life." and also i hope you learn one more thing "when harrison leaves for college, i know damn well that hes never seeing us again" if you said that i would never be a bump in the road, well too bad. i just became one whether you like it or not.
so be happy while you still have me! when i leave, its goodbye forever! im looking foreward to leaving these days behind! :D
anybody posting anything remotely trying to change my mind will be removed from my friends list and from aim and from my cell phone. haha! see! i dont give a fuck about you or anybody else! im so cynical!
Edit: one more thing, i took it from zachs LJ
American Cities That Best Fit You:
60% San Francisco 55% Austin 55% Denver 55% Honolulu 55% Portland
Which American Cities Best Fit You?
i belong in san francisco because im such a flaming homosexual. and i said i wanted to be in a fit city. Austin, Texas is not exactaly a fit city. in fact, i put so many anti-texan things that, why the hell is austin even on the list. i hate texas.
bye bye now! lets hope we never meet again! :D