[FANFIC]: Lean on Me ONE-SHOT
She packed a lunch for him with slightly shaky hands while he was upstairs packing his suitcase. Although his idea of packing was really just shoving the first bits of clothes he could get his hands on into his dusty, black suitcase. She smiled bitterly to herself. She would probably just repack it for him when he fell asleep tonight. Her baby was leaving tomorrow, to a place he had never known, even though his parents had come from there.
She put some rice in the Tupperware, along with freshly boiled chicken, a roast beef sandwich, a bag of potato chips, and some kimbap (really the only Korean food he was accustomed to). Her oldest son sauntered down the stairs in that slightly arrogant way teenagers did, but behind the mask of over-confidence she saw the insecurity. The fear of going to a place where he didn’t feel at home. In that moment her heart clenched, and she wished she had tried harder to teach him Korean when he was growing up.
He walked over to her, and towered over her shoulder. She was really the only one he was taller than, and it made him feel good. She didn’t mind letting him feel secure that way.
“What’s that for mom?” he asked in English, peering down at the Tupperware’s full of food.
“Food for the plane,” she replied calmly. “Plane food isn’t any good and if you fly Korean Air… well, your not really used to Korean food,”
She spoke to him in a mixture of broken English and Korean. He had learned to understand since he was young, getting what she said and needed when others couldn’t. It’s not that she couldn’t speak English well, it was just that in her own home surrounded by a family that was somewhat divided by a language barrier, the mixed Konglish came easier for both sides.
He smiled a bit, his arrogance slipping slightly.
“Thank you mom,” he said, reaching over her to grab an apple off the small counter. He looked at her closely, studying her face. “You don’t regret letting me go?”
She simply shook her head, busying herself with packing his lunch. She couldn’t bear to look at him right now, or she’d start crying.
Jay Park took a bite out of his apple and ran back up stairs to finish stuffing his suitcase and tease his little brother for being a emotional wreck.
Unbeknownst to him, his mother sneaked into his room that night as he slept in his bed for the last time for a few years, and re-packed his suitcase.
Jay sat next to new boss, who was sleeping comfortably in the seat next to him on the plane. Jay couldn’t help but snort at the thought that this man must practically sleep in one. It had been four hours with about eleven or twelve more to go and Jay already wanted off this fucking contraption. Screw stardom, he wanted to be with his dance crew right now. It had been hard enough breaking the news to them that he was leaving. They wouldn’t let him live it down.
What this JYP guy saw in him, Jay didn’t know. All he did know was that when he told his friends he was going to Korea to be a star, they flipped a shit on him. Stuff for ‘leaving the team’, and other bullshit like that were flown at his face. They also decided to do some Internet research, and their laughing didn’t help the already embarrassed Seattle teen as they howled,
“You going to look like those gay guys in that ‘Candy’ video?”
Jay just slid in his seat an grumbled about stupid stylists, and fluffy idols like H.O.T. that were already giving him a bad name. At least amongst his crew. But at the same time he couldn’t go back now. Not after his father had clapped him on the shoulders and said how happy he was that he got to see where his parents came from. Not when his little brother, who’s tried to be a tough guy ever since he was twelve, would not-so-secretly cry in his bedroom closet.
Not when his mom had handed him the lunch, his newly packed suitcase, and a wad of what little cash she could give him, transferred into Won.
“Don’t skip meals,” she has whispered. Combing his hair back, despite the fuss he had made, as he blushed as red as a pepper. “I’m so proud of you.”
Jay felt his eyes prick slightly, but he resisted the urge to let one single tear fall. Instead he reached down under his seat and grabbed his rucksack. Inside were many containers filled with food. He opened up the one with rice and began to eat.
“Annyeonghaseyo! Taecyeon imnida!”
Jay just stared with a look of ‘what the hell?’ plastered on his face at the tall, tan man in front of him. They had said Jay was the oldest of the bunch, but this guy was a big bastard. Taecyeon raised his eyebrows in confusion as Jay just continued to stare at him in his peculiar way.
One of the trainers, a woman in her late-twenties with curly black hair and gentle eyes covered by glasses, came up to Taecyeon and whispered,
“He’s from America. He doesn’t really know Korean.”
Taecyeon nodded and smiled brightly at the clueless Jay.
“Sorry! Hi! I’m Taecyeon, and I’m from Boston! Nice to meet you! What’s your name?”
Jay was startled suddenly at the man’s, now revealed to be Taecyeon, amazing English. With a bit of a stutter that ended with an attitude, Jay replied,
“I’m Jay Park, from Seattle,”
“Wow, so we’re from opposite sides of the country that’s cool,”
“Uh, I guess so,”
“Do you have a full Korean name?”
“It’s Jaebum,”
“Both are really nice names. Come on! Let me introduce you to the other trainees!”
Jay nearly flipped when Taecyeon took him by the hand and dragged him across the practice room. Yet in his gut Jay had a feeling this big doofus with the huge smile and horrible fashion sense (why the hell was he wearing orange sweatpants with a bright yellow wife beater?) was going to be one of his best friends here.
“Hey guys! This is Jaebum!”
“I don’t get you sometimes Jaebum hyung,”
Jaebum looked behind him to see a fuming Junsu. They were alone in the practice rooms and it was getting late. Thirteen hours straight of practice was getting on everybody’s nerves, and even the usually smooth Junsu was getting irritated.
“One minute your cool and everything, you seem to have it all down. The next you’re being a complete asshole and throwing fits!”
Jaebum didn’t really understand what Junsu was saying, but he could tell it wasn’t good. He suddenly felt all his insecurities and anger bubble up inside him. That frustration when he didn’t understand what the dance teacher was trying to tell him to do, or when the teachers at school were trying to teach him math and he couldn’t understand what was going on. The hideous emotions began to rise like bile in his throat and soon they exploded at Junsu.
“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re talking about, so just shut up!”
Jaebum had shouted it in English, and everyone turned to stare at him. Junsu was taken aback. Only Taecyeon, and to an extent Nickhun, understood what he was saying and what was meant.
On another level, Junsu could also understand him perfectly. With a wounded expression, Junsu retreated to the other side of the room in a huff, as Jaebum stalked the other way, out if the practice room, slamming the door as loudly as he could behind him.
The feelings boiled in his stomach and he felt the fear rise in him again. Now Junsu would hate him, they all would. They just think he some dumb American kid on a high-horse because he got picked in some overseas audition. They think he’s disrespectful, cocky, and no-good. They all hate him for not being able to eat the food or understand the language. They laugh at his writing mistakes and it was killing him inside.
This fear made him hate them to.
Through this blind rage he ran into one of the trainers in the hallway. He bowed, but made no move to leave. She cocked her head in confusion.
“Jaebum, what’s wrong?” she asked.
“Mom…”
She looks startled, and Jaebum realizes his mistake.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”
“It’s okay,”
Jaebum looks up in surprise, his heart leaping in his chest. She smiles gently at him, like his mom would.
“I know you miss her, so its okay if you call me that sometimes.”
“Thank you,” Jaebum choked, resisting the strong urge to hug the woman and cry into her arms like he would with his mom. “Thank you.”
It was his first time visiting in a long time, and his parents were there to greet him. His dad clapped him on the back and Jaebum gave his mom a one-armed hug. He resisted the temptation to fully embrace her, and asked,
“How’ve you been? How’s Jehan?”
To his parent’s surprise, he had asked in Korean.
“We’re good, although Jehan is being a bit rebellious, but what else is new?” She responded.
Jaebum frowned.
“I’ll talk to him, he should be respecting you.”
She smiled and leaned into her son’s shoulder. It felt odd, being supported by her son, when she had held him up throughout his life so far.
Jaebum (Jay?) got off the plane, his head hung low. He had resisted the entire plane ride to put his head down and pray for the plane to crash. Being so close to the sky, he wasn’t sure if he wanted God to hear him.
Jay (Jaebum?) walked through Seattle airport and looked up for the first time in hours. His neck creaked and there stood his mom. His mom…
He found himself running to her and collapsing into her embrace. Sobbing, he buried his face into her shoulder. He leaned into her, and in response she leaned into him. Together.
“I love you, I missed you, I’m so sorry…”
She stroked his hair while holding her son, because that’s who he truly was, and cried, replying softly.
“Me too.”