another new year...
so a few nights ago i got an email that someone had commented on my post about last years resoltuion. turns out it was just an ad. but its funny, because with it coming a few days before the new year, it got me thinking about that resolution.
well. i gave up. in may. i guess, thats not too bad. for my first resolution ever-5 months. and i give myself some credit with the circumstances. the whole point of the resolution was to turn my life around and make myself happier, but it just wasnt working and i was just falling deeper and deeper into depression. i didnt feeling like getting out of bed in the morning, going to work, eating, seeing the light of day...let alone trying to accomplish some stupid list that was supposed to make me feel better...pssshhh.
i mean, i did try. and i did actually accomplish some of the things i set out to do from the list...which is a plus. but last year just wasnt the year i guess. and maybe viv was right. my method alone wasnt going to work. i like lists, and checking things off makes me feel better, but i guess not in this case. so in june or july i did start therapy. and things are a bit better. ive had some setbacks with the death of my niece, which is hard dealing with on top of everything else and also brings up a lot of other issues with my family and other unresolved feelings about my grandmothers death that i never dealt with. but for the most part, im in a better place than i was last spring. or at least ive been told. sometimes i cant tell the difference.
anyway, so i think that since im in a better place now, sort of, maybe i can attempt this list again. same list, just pick up again. and maybe ill actually finish it.
confront jesse...pointless, but i did it.
talk to justin...about what, idk...being depressed maybe? check
start cooking more...started the year off good
handle $$ better...check
start eating better...check
Things I Want To Do:
go to disney
live on the east side (even if only for a short time)
europe
learn to play piano...bought a piano and had started taking lessons
swim with dolphins
drive across the U.S.
lose weight...check
start going to church again
make my confirmation
go on a cruise
go to jamaica
stay at the biltmore
have a glamorous nite out on the town for new years eve or mardis gras
go to mardis gras
starting learning german again
find my moms family
have another photography show
wish me luck.