whats ur fetish????
so jean and i headed out to fetish night over @ club hell last night. awesome, awesome, awesome!!! cami turned 21 yesterday...and has been for months planning this "5 DAY BIRTHDAY EXTRAVAGANZA". last night was club hell. she really wanted me to come, and i went and brought jean along with me. hey it was free, and it was a chance to go out...plus id see people i hadnt seen in a while. i saw cami and ashley. tim unfortunately couldnt come...too bad. as soon as we got there, she lept towards me and threw her arms around me...lol. ::she misses me:: i introduced her to jean, and she asked me if she could give jean a hug. im like, "of course!" shes so cute. i really wasnt planning on drinking, but she had all these free drink passes. shes like VIP there, and gets all this special treatment-we had four couches reserved just for our party. so it was awesome. one of her friends, arthur, was really nice. jean and i danced with him. hes such a sweetheart. me and jean were dancing and he comes over and joins us. hes like, "o, im sorry...im cutting in". he went to leave, but we pulled him in with us, and all three of us danced.
a lot of people were there. not with the party, but just there. i saw lars from school, kimmy...who looked awesome...and unfortunately, mike-jeans exboyfriend...ewwwwwww, wish he hadnt of been there. besides him, the night was awesome. cami got me up on the bar to dance. i didnt want to at first, but then i figured "what the hell...this could be fun". and it was.
i had such an awesome time, and i looked hott. i wore this violet silky lingerie dress and my ass kickin boots...messy hair, and dark purple and black makeup. i took pictures, so hopefully theyll come out. jean wore something similar, except hers was see-through and it was pink and black. she did her eyes to match, and looked hott. of course, jeans eyes always look hott...its her fetish. lol.
but yea, were gonna head to a party camis throwing on friday at this warehouse off park ave and elmwood. theres gonna be three live bands, and kegs, and everything...should be awesome...finally a good party. lol. maybe we can get whitney to come with us. thatd rock. =)
so, anyway, justin and i had a long talk the other night. there were some things we needed to talk about, because we werent talking, and we were both assuming all kinds of stuff about the other, and getting upset. but we talked, and now everything is great. i still have to talk to nicole, though. im calling her today, and im really nervous. theres really not much i can say to her. so im just gonna let her say what she has to say, and tell her im sorry...i cant really do anything else.
i finally talked to justin p. i think it was monday. he said that everything is fine...that he already knew that nothing was going to happen between us, and hes over it, these things happen. thats exactly what he said...im just glad its over with, and i finally talked to him. feel so much better just dealing with it instead of ignoring it.
but dans pissing me off. apparently i use people (this is oriana saying this). he says i use people for rides and i dont hang out with people unless it benefits me...what the fuck is that suppose to mean??? i dont use people, and i dont ask people for rides. yes, if i hang out with someone, they kinda have to pick me up bc i dont have a car...and my bus route ends at 7 pm...so what am i suppose to do? fly? fuckin idiot. hes like, "you always say ur gonna come over after work, but you dont". yea i used to go over after work...WHEN I HAD A CAR!!! DUMBASS. but since i havent had the car, i havent said that. y would i? knowing i cant get there? i have to go straight home so i dont miss the bus, or else i wont have any way of getting home because hes certainly not going to bring me. "o, you can ask someone to bring you". im not gonna ask someone for a ride. i dont like doing that. i hate asking for rides. "o, but youll hang out with justin and jean". yea because they are willing to come pick me up so we can hang out. ive asked him to hang out..."o, i dont have any money for gas". he has a job, whats he do with all the money, he doesnt pay for anything-no rent, nothing. i spent the entire summer after highschool driving his ass around, i drove an hour to connecticut every weekend to see him, and i picked him up when he got kicked outta his parents house and drove him to justins...and he says i dont care. but he cant put fuckin $5 in his gas tank to come pick me up so that we can hang out together. ive tried calling him to talk to him...and he ignores me, talking to everyone else around him, while im on hold. and we finally did hang out one friday...we went to wendys, and then he took me directly home. he didnt ask if i wanted to do something else...just took me straight home...like he had something better to do. and he tells me that im the one that will ditch people if something better comes up. i just dont get it. ive never done anything to him. what? i didnt love him back? excuse me. ive been nothing but nice to him. never done anything malicious, said anything...nothing but be a good friend, and this is what i get. "i use people"...whatever...fuck you. im the one that tried talking to him...telling him that everything was going to work out, that he would find a job, and he wouldnt be on the streets, no one would let that happen. when he was gonna go into the airforce i talked to him, trying to make him see that he wasnt giving it enough time...and he says that i dont care. hes just gonna treat me like this...because i cant get a ride to his house. i dont have a car, i tell him...i dont have money to buy a new one, or to fix the one i have. "o well lets see", he tells me, "you have a job, you dont pay rent, and o! heres an idea, stop going out and save your money". yes, i have a job, YES! i DO pay rent. chuck moved out, and its only the two of us now...so its a little more difficult now. and i dont go out BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A CAR!!!! he pisses me off...he FINALLY has a job, and now hes gonna sit here and judge me and my life. he doesnt know half the shit ive been through, what i deal with everyday, and hes gonna sit there and criticize me? hes got some balls. its so retarded and immature. he COULD come pick me up, he has his grandparents car now...but no, he has to be a jerk about it and make me look like the bad guy. o, and this is the kicker...at the end, after i told him to fuck off...oriana tells me it was her i was talking to the whole time, and dan doesnt need me bc he has REAL friends like her and mike. fuckin faget, he couldnt even tell me himself. he had to have oriana do it for him. FAG. im done...SOOOOOOOOO done. what is this highschool? i thought this shit was over, cant we all just please GROW UP?
happy birthday viv.
a lot of people were there. not with the party, but just there. i saw lars from school, kimmy...who looked awesome...and unfortunately, mike-jeans exboyfriend...ewwwwwww, wish he hadnt of been there. besides him, the night was awesome. cami got me up on the bar to dance. i didnt want to at first, but then i figured "what the hell...this could be fun". and it was.
i had such an awesome time, and i looked hott. i wore this violet silky lingerie dress and my ass kickin boots...messy hair, and dark purple and black makeup. i took pictures, so hopefully theyll come out. jean wore something similar, except hers was see-through and it was pink and black. she did her eyes to match, and looked hott. of course, jeans eyes always look hott...its her fetish. lol.
but yea, were gonna head to a party camis throwing on friday at this warehouse off park ave and elmwood. theres gonna be three live bands, and kegs, and everything...should be awesome...finally a good party. lol. maybe we can get whitney to come with us. thatd rock. =)
so, anyway, justin and i had a long talk the other night. there were some things we needed to talk about, because we werent talking, and we were both assuming all kinds of stuff about the other, and getting upset. but we talked, and now everything is great. i still have to talk to nicole, though. im calling her today, and im really nervous. theres really not much i can say to her. so im just gonna let her say what she has to say, and tell her im sorry...i cant really do anything else.
i finally talked to justin p. i think it was monday. he said that everything is fine...that he already knew that nothing was going to happen between us, and hes over it, these things happen. thats exactly what he said...im just glad its over with, and i finally talked to him. feel so much better just dealing with it instead of ignoring it.
but dans pissing me off. apparently i use people (this is oriana saying this). he says i use people for rides and i dont hang out with people unless it benefits me...what the fuck is that suppose to mean??? i dont use people, and i dont ask people for rides. yes, if i hang out with someone, they kinda have to pick me up bc i dont have a car...and my bus route ends at 7 pm...so what am i suppose to do? fly? fuckin idiot. hes like, "you always say ur gonna come over after work, but you dont". yea i used to go over after work...WHEN I HAD A CAR!!! DUMBASS. but since i havent had the car, i havent said that. y would i? knowing i cant get there? i have to go straight home so i dont miss the bus, or else i wont have any way of getting home because hes certainly not going to bring me. "o, you can ask someone to bring you". im not gonna ask someone for a ride. i dont like doing that. i hate asking for rides. "o, but youll hang out with justin and jean". yea because they are willing to come pick me up so we can hang out. ive asked him to hang out..."o, i dont have any money for gas". he has a job, whats he do with all the money, he doesnt pay for anything-no rent, nothing. i spent the entire summer after highschool driving his ass around, i drove an hour to connecticut every weekend to see him, and i picked him up when he got kicked outta his parents house and drove him to justins...and he says i dont care. but he cant put fuckin $5 in his gas tank to come pick me up so that we can hang out together. ive tried calling him to talk to him...and he ignores me, talking to everyone else around him, while im on hold. and we finally did hang out one friday...we went to wendys, and then he took me directly home. he didnt ask if i wanted to do something else...just took me straight home...like he had something better to do. and he tells me that im the one that will ditch people if something better comes up. i just dont get it. ive never done anything to him. what? i didnt love him back? excuse me. ive been nothing but nice to him. never done anything malicious, said anything...nothing but be a good friend, and this is what i get. "i use people"...whatever...fuck you. im the one that tried talking to him...telling him that everything was going to work out, that he would find a job, and he wouldnt be on the streets, no one would let that happen. when he was gonna go into the airforce i talked to him, trying to make him see that he wasnt giving it enough time...and he says that i dont care. hes just gonna treat me like this...because i cant get a ride to his house. i dont have a car, i tell him...i dont have money to buy a new one, or to fix the one i have. "o well lets see", he tells me, "you have a job, you dont pay rent, and o! heres an idea, stop going out and save your money". yes, i have a job, YES! i DO pay rent. chuck moved out, and its only the two of us now...so its a little more difficult now. and i dont go out BECAUSE I DONT HAVE A CAR!!!! he pisses me off...he FINALLY has a job, and now hes gonna sit here and judge me and my life. he doesnt know half the shit ive been through, what i deal with everyday, and hes gonna sit there and criticize me? hes got some balls. its so retarded and immature. he COULD come pick me up, he has his grandparents car now...but no, he has to be a jerk about it and make me look like the bad guy. o, and this is the kicker...at the end, after i told him to fuck off...oriana tells me it was her i was talking to the whole time, and dan doesnt need me bc he has REAL friends like her and mike. fuckin faget, he couldnt even tell me himself. he had to have oriana do it for him. FAG. im done...SOOOOOOOOO done. what is this highschool? i thought this shit was over, cant we all just please GROW UP?
happy birthday viv.