(no subject)
to all those who care: I dont exist for a while. i'm sorry. i'm just too fucking constantly busy. best friends and all their fucked up rewards for living a life they deserve, a perfected sort... beautiful lovers and the lack of sex. lack of romantic actions, if not romantic feelings. and lustfulness, cant forget that passion that drives. trying to get her to new york because theres no sort of happiness here in las vegas, and so much more to offer her elsewhere. and possibly applicable to myself and what i have to give... work and its death to myself and my being... friends of old and their decisions to try and include me. i dont think i exist myself in their point of reference... and my own being. trying to make something out of a life of nothing. work and a lack of romance. hoping for the day where i get a few extra dollars. and making too many plans than are possible for the little bit of money that actually exists and isn't just told to me as a fairy tale to keep me going. keep me pushing for a future that probably will never come. but to make a point: i might be a while before i return to your lives. i dont have enough time to take care of my own, i might as well spend what little on such pretenses. something to keep me going...