hello again
well i deleted my myspace because its just a little bit sickening. the whole point is to look pretty for the world and if you dont feel like taking a lot of time in your pictures the world judges you for not trying hard enough. its so stupid. well i figure to fall back on livejournal. i havent updated in soooo long. since the summer actually. i guess theres letters and pictures to keep track of my life since i did update. i just need to pour my heart out.
so many things have been happening lately, its like just a month ago things were ok, just 3 months ago things were absolutely perfect. why? i caused it upon myself i know and when i think about that i realize that things have to have happened for a reason. i gave up love. i gave it up once for a simple "infatuation" . i took it back and realized that it wasnt just the infatuation that drove me away. it was love, it is love, maybe it always will be love, but thats not all you need, you need the connection and what happens if the connection diminishes? exactly. i had to give it up. so i broke his heart... twice.
and i made the other one feel yet another disappointment. im sorry i showed you further reason to distrust people. to hate them. i realized you are really important to me. your different and you understand me. and im glad you think i understand you too and i want you to be a part of my life also. just try to trust me. i wish i could just make you trust me, but i know i broke your trust once or twice before. i will no longer make any actions, i want to be your FRIEND. if somethign else happens let it happen. "youre gonnna break another heart, youre gonna tell another lie." really? not this time trust me.
and to david- i will always love you. no one understands me like you do and perhaps no one will, but dwelling on the past will never do. im tired of making the wrong desicions so i guess making none is the best for now. so yes lose hope maybe not for forever but definetly for now.
so many things have been happening lately, its like just a month ago things were ok, just 3 months ago things were absolutely perfect. why? i caused it upon myself i know and when i think about that i realize that things have to have happened for a reason. i gave up love. i gave it up once for a simple "infatuation" . i took it back and realized that it wasnt just the infatuation that drove me away. it was love, it is love, maybe it always will be love, but thats not all you need, you need the connection and what happens if the connection diminishes? exactly. i had to give it up. so i broke his heart... twice.
and i made the other one feel yet another disappointment. im sorry i showed you further reason to distrust people. to hate them. i realized you are really important to me. your different and you understand me. and im glad you think i understand you too and i want you to be a part of my life also. just try to trust me. i wish i could just make you trust me, but i know i broke your trust once or twice before. i will no longer make any actions, i want to be your FRIEND. if somethign else happens let it happen. "youre gonnna break another heart, youre gonna tell another lie." really? not this time trust me.
and to david- i will always love you. no one understands me like you do and perhaps no one will, but dwelling on the past will never do. im tired of making the wrong desicions so i guess making none is the best for now. so yes lose hope maybe not for forever but definetly for now.