The Premier State.
A rugby game was played last night.
I know this because at about 7pm some drunk guy outside my office shouted “New South Wales!” He shouted it a lot. And in my experience, the only time anyone does that is when either the Waratahs are playing or State Of Origin is on. On the other three-hundred-and-fifty-odd days a year, basically no one in New South Wales makes proclamations about state pride. And I blame (and, I suppose, thank) the English language for that.
Cross our southern border and it’s only a matter of seconds before you’ll hear someone describe themselves as Victorian. Keep swimming south and everyone’s a Tasmanian. Above us are proud Queenslanders. Western Australians might as well have their own patriotic micronation over there. People even admit they’re South Australian without realising that it might be something to be embarrassed about. But I have never heard anyone describe the people from this state as New South Welsh. And (with the possible exception of my grandfather) I’ve never heard anyone describe himself (or herself) as a New South Welshman (or Welshwoman).
And that’s another obstacle. Much in the same way as English has epically failed with third person singular pronouns*, there’s no unisex way to refer to someone from New South Wales unless you call him or her a New South Welshperson. Which sounds even more ridiculous. And so we get “I’m from New South Wales” instead. Which isn’t the same thing. It’s the distinction between “I’m from Victoria” and “I’m a Victorian”, which is the same as the difference between saying “I used to drive a BMW” and “Yo, I’m driving a pimped-out BMW with my windows down, eh! Check out my mag wheels and subwoofer and fully sick custom plates!”
Personally, I couldn’t bring myself to say I’m “from New South Wales” anyway, (even though I was born here). I “live in Sydney”, but I’d still say “I’m from the A.C.T.” Well, not really. Everyone who comes from Canberra is socially programmed to think of it like white, middle-class guilt, muttering “I’m from Canberra”, before nodding as we’re told how ‘boring’ and ‘quiet’ it is and how all the roads go round in circles.
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Bonus Australian State Of Origin Quiz:
What is this picture of?
a.) Polony.
b.) Luncheon.
c.) Fritz.
d) Devon.
e.) I don’t know. Is it a photonegative of the moon?
f.) Rokeby Roast.
g.) Belgium.
(Answers at the bottom of this entry.)
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*English has no unisex third person singular pronouns. This often leads to ‘The Pronoun Game’ (which I first heard of in 1997, watching Chasing Amy, but it may predate Kevin Smith.) This ‘game’ is usually played when one person doesn’t want to reveal someone else’s gender (and ironically, playing ‘The Pronoun Game’ usually makes the gender being concealed even more obvious.) In Chasing Amy itself, the character of Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams) is trying to avoid telling her lesbian friends that she’s been “shacking up with” Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck.) Alyssa says, “we have such a great time together... It’s someone you guys don’t know... They’re not from around here... For your information, they don’t have big hair or wear acid wash. They’re from my home town.”
Although sleeping with Ben Affleck should still be less embarrassing than if she’d been shacking up with Jennifer Lopez.
**********
Answers to Bonus Australian State Of Origin Quiz.
If you chose:
a.) You’re a Western Australian.
b.) You’re a Queenslander.
c.) You’re a South Australian.
d.) Congratulations, you’re from one of the normal states or territories!
e.) You’re a vegetarian.
f.) You’re a Tasmanian.
g.) Sorry, you’re still a Tasmanian.
**********
I know this because at about 7pm some drunk guy outside my office shouted “New South Wales!” He shouted it a lot. And in my experience, the only time anyone does that is when either the Waratahs are playing or State Of Origin is on. On the other three-hundred-and-fifty-odd days a year, basically no one in New South Wales makes proclamations about state pride. And I blame (and, I suppose, thank) the English language for that.
Cross our southern border and it’s only a matter of seconds before you’ll hear someone describe themselves as Victorian. Keep swimming south and everyone’s a Tasmanian. Above us are proud Queenslanders. Western Australians might as well have their own patriotic micronation over there. People even admit they’re South Australian without realising that it might be something to be embarrassed about. But I have never heard anyone describe the people from this state as New South Welsh. And (with the possible exception of my grandfather) I’ve never heard anyone describe himself (or herself) as a New South Welshman (or Welshwoman).
And that’s another obstacle. Much in the same way as English has epically failed with third person singular pronouns*, there’s no unisex way to refer to someone from New South Wales unless you call him or her a New South Welshperson. Which sounds even more ridiculous. And so we get “I’m from New South Wales” instead. Which isn’t the same thing. It’s the distinction between “I’m from Victoria” and “I’m a Victorian”, which is the same as the difference between saying “I used to drive a BMW” and “Yo, I’m driving a pimped-out BMW with my windows down, eh! Check out my mag wheels and subwoofer and fully sick custom plates!”
Personally, I couldn’t bring myself to say I’m “from New South Wales” anyway, (even though I was born here). I “live in Sydney”, but I’d still say “I’m from the A.C.T.” Well, not really. Everyone who comes from Canberra is socially programmed to think of it like white, middle-class guilt, muttering “I’m from Canberra”, before nodding as we’re told how ‘boring’ and ‘quiet’ it is and how all the roads go round in circles.
**********
Bonus Australian State Of Origin Quiz:
What is this picture of?
a.) Polony.
b.) Luncheon.
c.) Fritz.
d) Devon.
e.) I don’t know. Is it a photonegative of the moon?
f.) Rokeby Roast.
g.) Belgium.
(Answers at the bottom of this entry.)
**********
*English has no unisex third person singular pronouns. This often leads to ‘The Pronoun Game’ (which I first heard of in 1997, watching Chasing Amy, but it may predate Kevin Smith.) This ‘game’ is usually played when one person doesn’t want to reveal someone else’s gender (and ironically, playing ‘The Pronoun Game’ usually makes the gender being concealed even more obvious.) In Chasing Amy itself, the character of Alyssa (Joey Lauren Adams) is trying to avoid telling her lesbian friends that she’s been “shacking up with” Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck.) Alyssa says, “we have such a great time together... It’s someone you guys don’t know... They’re not from around here... For your information, they don’t have big hair or wear acid wash. They’re from my home town.”
Although sleeping with Ben Affleck should still be less embarrassing than if she’d been shacking up with Jennifer Lopez.
**********
Answers to Bonus Australian State Of Origin Quiz.
If you chose:
a.) You’re a Western Australian.
b.) You’re a Queenslander.
c.) You’re a South Australian.
d.) Congratulations, you’re from one of the normal states or territories!
e.) You’re a vegetarian.
f.) You’re a Tasmanian.
g.) Sorry, you’re still a Tasmanian.
**********