The Wife part 3 (WIP)
Face had padded downstairs to the kitchen and was watching unnoticed. Like most weekend mornings, Hannibal sat at the table reading the paper. Coffiee at his elbow, hair peaked and askew, his cigar replaced by a worn looking toothpick. Brushing against his cheek was a blonde pigtail. Attached to the pigtail was a fair and impossibly smooth face. How was it that kids could have that amazing perfect skin with no effort at all? It was wasted on them. Idly Hannibal reached a hand to smooth the hair down and away from his eye.
Perched on her father's knee, Amy's brow furrowed in concentration reading from the paper. Her small, mouth was set in a hard line. Her expresion an unconscious mimicry of the man. One finger traced across the page.
Over their shoulders Face could see Autumn watching Jack. He stood on a step stool, spatuala waving in the air. His mother had one hand lightly twisted in his pyjama top, keeping him safely on the stool and prudently away from the grill.
"Okay flip that one now."
"I know, let me do it myself."
"Alright, you do it." The spatuala waving became deliberate and Face saw a flash of bisquit colour.
"It splattered."
"Only a little bit. See how golden it is on this side. You flipped at the perfect time."
"I want to eat that one."
"It will take a minute to finish, why don't you go knock on our guest's door and let him know breakfast is ready."
The boy turned and stepped down carefully. He walked two steps before looking up and seeing Face in the hallway. Boy and man stood still in surprised quiet, eyes on the other. A private moment with everyone else distracted. Though darker, the boy's hair was mused and peaked in exactly the same soft chaos as his father's. He was round and full in the face like a child, but already the brow seemed grave, jaw firm. His eyes were sea gray.
It could have been a full minute before Face realized he was staring, ogling the boy. He looked down impulsively, then back up. Jack was still watching him, wary. Face smiled at him, then looked away again. I'm flirting he thought. I'm doing exactly what I do at a bar with women. Used to do with women, he corrected.
The boy smiled back then turned and tugged on his mother's shirt.
"You're up already!" Autumn faced him, her hand on Jack's shoulder.
"Already?" Hannibal removed Amy's comics for her before folding the rest of the paper and flipping to the back. "It's nearly ten o'clock." he growled, smiling at Face.
"Good morning to you too, Boss." Face helped himself to a coffee, trying to avoid grimacing at the quality. He was sat down and sipping when Jack approached, shuffling. Jack looked back at Autumn who was nodding encouragingly. Jack stuck out his hand nervously.
"Hi, I'm Jack. Pleased to meet you." The words were precise, practiced.
"Hi Jack. Pleased to meet you too." Face shook the small extended hand and managed to maintain a suitably serious expression. Jack remained grave. Autumn gave Face thumbs up and a grateful smile. "I'm Templeton, but everybody calls me Face."
"Everybody?" Jack asked seriously.
"I'm sure his mother calls him by his name." Autumn said. Face froze for a moment. Lip clamped between his teeth, he was unable to answer. Shattering this warm familial morning with his pitiful orphan heritage was the last thing he wanted. Hannibal looked over at him, a hand brushed his knee under the table. Jack interrupted the awkward silence.
"Can I call you Face?" he asked enthusiastically.
"No." Autumn and Hannibal both said at the same time. She smiled wryly. "We prefer that adults be acknowledged as such."
"Mister Face?" Asked Jack, brow furrowed. Face shook his head.
"Daddy Face?" he tried.
"Oh no way." Face responded immediately. Was that the way this was going? He and Hannibal were, well, kinda like a married couple. Did that make him step-Dad? It didn't matter, a father figure he was absolutely not.
"Uncle?" Face offered softly. It was met with no protest from anyone. Uncle Face it seemed to be then. Jack hiked himself up on his seat and squirmed close to the table.
"I'm Amelia." He turned toward the bold voice over his shoulder. "But everybody calls me Amy." The little girl regarded him, smiling, from Hannibal's knee. Her father watched, bemused. "I'm named after a dead pilot."
"They don't know for sure she's dead." Jack argued as he grabbed his fork. "Nobody ever found her dead, she could be alive."
"That seems a little unlikely Jack." Hannibal lifted Amy from his knee and set her on her own chair. "She disappeared in the middle of the Pacific ocean."
"Well, she could be is all I'm saying." Jack had his choice pancake in front of him already. Autumn passed a full platter to Face and took a seat. He speared his portion and watched Jack cut his food precisely in quarters. He relaxed into the lull of morning chatter. Syrup made the rounds. The good stuff, from actual trees.
"Tobi died." said Amy, looking right at him. "She was our dog."
Conversation stopped. He blinked at her, momentarily at a loss. A death in the family, he thought, what is the standard response.
"I heard, I'm sorry. You must miss her."
"She's in the freezer."
"What?" Hannibal looked up sharply. There was a clatter of cutlery hitting ceramic.
"The vet's freezer John." Autumn raised her hands in surrender, or supplication. "We don't have her here. The ground was frozen solid, and do have any idea how big a hole a Great Dane requires?" Amy and Jack both stared at their mother. "Oh, sh- I mean darn. I'm sorry." The children switched from shock to giggling at the near slip. She put her hands down on the table and took a breath, continuing quietly, "I didn't know what to do. You were there when we got her, and, I thought you might want input. There are options..." Face realized she is about to cry, about to break down right at the table.
"We can talk about it later Autumn." Hannibal spoke calmly. Face felt comforted by that voice, even when it was directed at someone else.
She nodded, and served Amy a pancake, cutting it into bit sized pieces for the girl. "Sure, after breakfast."
Amy forked food into her mouth. She turned toward Hannibal. "Cahnwaygahskggng?"
"Finish your food honey, then talk." Hannibal pinched his nose and waited. Amy swallowed.
"Can we go skating?" she tried again. Face felt his eyes go big. He held his breath, waiting for the answer.
"Well," said Hannibal, drawing the word out painfully slowly, "if your mother says its okay, I don't see why not." Face swiveled his eyes to watch Autumn. Tried to keep his head still, to look calm. Beside his mother, Jack was wide-eyed as well.
"I can't exactly say no, now can I?" She looked right at Face and smirked, "What with the kids looking so excited and all." he felt the heat rise in his cheeks.
---
He was dressed in a pair of Hannibal's old boots, two sweaters and his own, thin coat. He had been dressed that way for thirty minutes, inside, and was still waiting for the children to be ready. His anti-perspirant had been totally overwhelmed. Amy insisted on dressing herself, just like her older brother. She was making a mess of it, putting on boots before snow pants. Hannibal was smoking outside and Face about to join him when Autumn strode purposly into the hall. She stopped and looked at him, eyes squinting. He shifted.
"Put this on." she ordered and handed him an appalling, scratchy looking woolen object.
"Oh, no, I'll be fine without a haa..." he stopped when she grabbed his ear and shoved the toque onto his head. Her grip was surprisingly strong.
"Just wear it Lieutenant." She hissed in his ear as a stomping, pouting Jack appeared around the corner. Autumn spun on her heel and spoke in a warm sing-song voice to her son.
"See, Uncle Face is wearing a hat." Face smiled wanly with head covered and resisted the urge to scratch. Jack's pout turned to a grin at the sight.
"Okay, I'll wear the one that looks the same as his." Autumn magically produced the matching hat from behind her back and fixed it to the boy's head quickly. Face gritted his teeth, resenting being used to con the child. Jack looked up at him from under the cuff of the truly awful hat. He was grinning, eyes shining up seemingly awed. Face found himself grinning back and instinctively squeezed back when the boy's mittened had took his.
Face looked at Amy, puffed out, limbs stiff from stuffing and insulation. Jack seemed to be covered in an entire sheep, woolen mitts, woolen scarf, woolen hat. He looked like he was being attacked by a pack of brillo-pads. "I think we're ready now." Autumn said. "To the vehicle!"
The children waddled through the door. Autumn handed Face a bag of skates and followed him out. The air was crisp and tight. He squinted against the sudden brightness. Hannibal was strapping Amy into her car seat, Jack struggling with his own belt around the bulky booster.
"We won't all fit in here Autumn." Hannibal looked over his shoulder. "There's no room between these seats."
"I want to ride with Dad!" Jack hollered. Face saw his CO draw a breath to reprimand the boy, but Autumn put a hand on his shoulder. She slipped the keys into his hand.
"Templeton can drive me in your car. If thats okay with you?" she turned to face him questioning.
"Yeah, no problemo." Lover and the ex, alone in a car. Lovely. Won't be awkward at all, he thought.
Everybody loaded into the cars. There were blankets and thermoses and mugs and, really was it necessary? - helmets. Only slightly less complicated that preparing for a shuttle launch Face thought. He started the rental car and followed the family's station wagon.
"One of these days I'm going to have to give in and get a mini-van."
"The total soccer Mom package eh?"
"We can barely squeeze Griffin in now. Even when we can lose the car seat and booster, the kids are only going to get bigger."
"Yeah." Face imagined Hannibal, ducking into a mini-van, dressed in loafers and a cardigan. He began to giggle. Autumn raised an eyebrow. "I was just imagining Hannibal driving one. It's just such an implausible image."
"Well, he was reluctant to have one child. Two was definitely not part of his plan."
"Amy isn't his kid?"
"Oh, no, she's his. But we were apart when she was born. He didn't know about the pregnancy until after we separated."
"Oh." he didn't know what else to say. How could Hannibal not have known? There was only one way to make a baby happen.
"Thanks for wearing the hat. You can take it off now, he probably won't notice."
"Oh, I don't mind." Face offered before he knew what he was saying. He realized that he was reluctant to disappoint Jack.
"I know I shouldn't push these issues. If I didn't make it a big deal, just kept a hat on hand and let him use it when he got cold it would probably be okay. It just stresses me thinking he might be cold, or getting frostbite. So foolish."
"You care. Its a very Mom thing." I assume, he thought.
"I need to learn to avoid power struggles or the teenage years are going to be impossible."
"He has a Mom, one that cares, one thats around. Trust me, just being there is a big deal." She turned, watching him from the side steadily.
"Looks like we're here." he said as the wagon turned off the road. Instead of the arena he was expecting, they pulled into a long plowed drive. Face slowed and drove carefully, watching the wire fences and bare trees pass by. Poking through the snow individual stalks of grass twirled in the breeze. They passed a large, clapboard house and parked next to a pond. Or a slough, or some kind of shallow body of water frozen in a low part of the field. Children spilled and bounced out of the wagon.
He had no idea what to do, but skates were just boots with a knifey bit on the end right? An old pair had been unearthed from the belly of the basement and he took the knotted laces and followed. Everyone carved a seat right out of the snow bank, plopped down and began lacing.
Autumn knelt in front on Amy and helped her slip into her white skates. Dangerous looking spikes stuck out from the front. He was glad to see his skates had none. Looked like an invitation to self injury. Hannibal was mirroring his ex in front of Jack. The both tugged vigourously and efficiently. Face brushed dirty snow aside and gingerly sat down to assess his own foot wear. They were tattered looking and very stiff. He squeezed in and began to tighten the laces. Well before he was finished the others were up and away.
Turned out, Hannibal could skate. He looked unnaturally gangly with the extra height of the blades. The skates made carving sounds against the ice. He rocked back and forth slowly, gliding forward. Face was about to voice his admiration when a dark blur sped past Hannibal's legs, leaned dangerously far into a turn, carved around and shot off to the other end of the ice, legs pumping, arms swinging. Jack was leaned over like a bullet or battering ram, helmeted head foremost. He swung around again, aimed directly at Hannibal and seemed to gain speed right up to the point that he swiveled and stopped spraying snow on his father.
"Its really snowy!" Jack yelled. Hannibal chuckled and glided to the side and picked up a shovel. As he plowed slowly back and forth, the children wove around chasing each other. Without announcement, another boy was added to the mix. Shorter than Jack, but stockier. Hannibal greeted Griffin with a familiar nod and fist bump. The tall man was like a sun with children orbiting around him as random satellites. When Autumn joined the group the space began to look crowded. Face tugged slowly on his laces, delaying entry to the slippery surface. He had no idea what was going on. There was no obvious objective or game. The skaters mingled and turned moving fast, then slow.
With bows double knotted, he had no excuse for sitting. Amy slid up in front of him and plowed to a stop.
"How come your skates are white and spiky?" he asked.
"They're figure skates." She turned and tilted her skates, showing them off. "Jack and Griffin play hockey. I didn't want to do the same as them."
"Wanted to be different.'"
"Hmm, hmmm. You going to skate?"
"I've never skated before." She tilted her head at him, clearly confused. "Nobody took me skating as a kid, like this." Amy frowned.
"Its easy, c'mon." She turned and demonstrated pushing in easy strokes.
He stood and stepped off the snow bank. He glided smoothly for several feet. It seemed easy, until he tried to step forward. The blade slipped, then caught. He flailed, arms spinning and huffed in pain as he hit hard. Oh, helmets are so necessary he thought. Such a good idea. When the stars had cleared he could see Autumn and Hannibal looking down at him, framed by the sky. Their mouths were working, but he was having trouble deciphering their words. He took the extended hands and was ungracefully hauled to his feet. Propped between the two he was propelled toward the side snow bank.
"Are you okay Templeton?"
"Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I, uh... I've never done this. You guys made it look so easy."
"I didn't realize, kid. Growing up in LA, guess there wasn't much opportunity for skating lessons." Face nodded gratefully, glad Hannibal had offered a non-orphan explanation for his inexperience.
Half way across the ice, the trio stopped. Amy stood in front of them, beside a metal folding chair. She pushed it toward him.
"I'm sorry Uncle Face. You can use the chair. Its how I started." He was galled at the thought of leaning on a chair, like some old fogey with a walker. He just wanted off the ice, on to something not slippery, something not dangerous. But, she looked at him expectantly. How could he turn that look down. If it had been good enough for her, why shouldn't it be good enough for him?
He leaned on the back of the chair and followed Amy across the ice. Through sheer determination, and natural athletic ability he thought to himself, he managed not to fall again. The little girl patiently guided him around and offered advice.
"Push out, not back Uncle Face." and "Use the side of your blades, you don't have picks." While tottering about he watched the others flicking a puck with sticks. Hannibal stood in net, stopping nothing and cheering every ridiculous goal. The boys continued to dart and curl with unnatural speed. Autumn carved easily between them, recovering the puck when it missed the net.
He sent Amy out to join the game and pushed the chair to the side, sitting on it gratefully. He was startled by a voice at his shoulder.
"Hi, I'm Brad." A balding, bespectacled man held out his hand. He shook it.
"Templeton, but call me Face."
"Uncle Face I hear."
"Well, it was the best we could come up with on the spur of the moment." The man smiled and turned to watch the game. He wore a city coat and shivered a bit.
"I'm Griffin's Dad, Autumn's brother." Weird that an Army doctor had a waxy looking accountant type for a brother.
"Sounds like the kids spend a lot of time with you here."
"Yeah. Since John left, well, its family you know." He looked down at Face, expression flat. Face tried to decide if he had been insulted. He didn't have time to form an opinion when Hannibal glided to a stop in front of them.
"Morning Brad."
"John." Yup, there was tension there thought Face hearing the tightness in both men's voices. Brad was about as opposite of Hannibal as any man Face had met. He was narrow and soft looking, eyes owlish behind his glasses.
"Did Face introduce himself?" Hannibal asked.
"Yes, met Templeton here." Face nodded in confirmation, tried his charming smile. Brad continued, "I just came by see how long you're staying. I want to head out, but Griffin's Mom won't be back for half an hour, will you be here till then?"
"Oh yeah, I'm sure we will."
"Alright, he probably won't even notice that I'm gone then." The man turned and picked his way gingerly across the snow, looking back to wave once before going.
"That is Autumn's brother? She's so tough and he's so, well so..."
Hannibal cut him off, "Don't Face, just don't."
"He obviously does not approve of you." Or me he added mentally.
"Well, that man has demonstrated what commitment and consistency means from a father in ways that I never could to my own children. He can think whatever he wants about me. Autumn and the kids would be lost without Brad and his family."
Face leans his head against Hannibal's arm briefly. Hannibal was the man who taught him those things, after everybody else gave up trying.
"Snow slide!!!" the children are pushing the hockey net out of the way, screaming at the top of their lungs. "Snow slide! Winner gets the big cup of hot chocolate!" Hannibal chuckles and joins the other skaters lining up at the end of the ice. Face watches them speed away at a signal, racing toward the end. Hannibal is the first to go, diving to the ice, arms spread gathering snow. All the rest follow at intervals, Amy traveling the furthest. But it is not a distance competition. Face is called on to judge snowiness and Jack is the obvious winner. All that wool came in helpful after all. He received an engulfing, icy hug from the boy in thanks. He is amazed at the feeling of that little body, so complete and alive, gripping his chest. Flooded with a sense of protectiveness and gratitude, he hugged back vigorously.
--
Autumn drove the kids home. Face rode with Hannibal. He shed his coat throwing the wet layer into the back seat.
"Y'know, its funny that Amy is so much more like you."
"What do you mean?"
"She's so bold, confident." He thinks of the chair idea, "A problem solver."
"No, I see that. I mean, why is it funny?"
"Autumn said you weren't planning on two. She sorta implied that she was a surprise."
"Oh, well, it was a surprise for me any way."
"You're what!"
"I know you didn't want this. Honestly, it doesn't involve you."
"Hell it doesn't. If it's mine, I'm involved."
"I can do this alone. You're barely involved with Jack anyway. You're away on missions constantly, you spend your time with your team, with him. The marriage is over." She sighed, raised her hands in surrender, "And that's fine. Just, don't think that you have the right to come home for a few days a year and make decisions about how this family runs."
"I have never interferred with your parenting. This is completely different. You used me. Treated me like some anonymous donor."
"I didn't have to force you."
"You lied. It was understood, birth control was SOP."
She was in tears at this point, red and damp in the face. Her arms were crossing and uncrossing compulsively. The chair seemed to swallow her in.
"I'm sorry. I know it was wrong. I just couldn't see any other way."
"All this time I was eating myself up, thinking I had betrayed you. Ruined your chance at a real family, That I was taking advantage of your kindness." he turned away, looking out the window, "all you wanted was a stud anyway."
"I swear, I will do this myself. I'm not asking you for anything."
"No, you just took what you wanted, no asking, no permission." He paced back and forth, nearly incoherent with rage, "I don't want to be responsible for making another burden, another mistake."
"Jack is not a mistake.". Her voice was a hiss.
"My failure to him is a mistake, my mistake." He roared. All the shame of the last years erupting in noise, "The marriage a failure. As a father a failure. You've set me up to fail again." He had spent his anger then, spoke barely above a whisper then, "I'm not used to failing at things Autumn. I'm used to being in control, making the plan, staying..."
"...five steps ahead." She completed his sentence. "I know. This isn't a mission, it's life. Children are not soldiers. We are doing the best we can. Thats not failure." He sinks to the couch, suddenly exhausted. He realizes he really is trapped. He can't make her end it, doesn't want her to really. Now that its done.
"How are you going to do this?"
"My job pays well enough. There is day care on the base if I want it. My brother and his family are moving back into the area. They love having Jack over. If doing the med-evacs is too hard, I can always work at emerg or the clinic."
He stopped moving. Assessed her with a level stare. There was premeditation, this was not an accident, not a sudden impulse. "Now you're the one with the plan. How long have you been thinking about this?"
"Since Jack turned two. I want him to have a sibling. Two people isn't enough for a family, I want one more."
"You never said anything."
"I mentioned it. You were so adamantly against the idea. Being tied to home and family was so hard on you. I just, kept putting it off."
"Then you ran out of time." He huffed, "This is not a way to get me to come back. May I remind you that ending the marriage was your idea. I left on your invitation."
"John, I don't want you back as a husband. You suck at it." That stung. But she didn't seem like she was trying to hurt him, just stating a fact. "I'm sorry that you feel trapped by Jack. By your duty to him. You could just run away, there is nothing forcing you back."
Is that how he felt. Trapped? He was a man of duty, responsibility. Walking away from a commitment was anthema to everything he beleived. But this? Staying had seemed the worst choice. Now, now he felt doubly responsible.