Give into the Night
Haven't been in the mood to write much of, well, anything lately.
And for someone who destresses and such by writing in various ways (be it sad, silly, etc)? This is not a good thing and does not make me a happy hanyou. And goddamn that stick of incense was strong, holy shit I was smelling it from the shower. CURSE YOU HANYOU SENSES. CUUUURSES!
>.< not to mention that if I can't write, then I can't really communicate all that well.
....though some part of me must be trying to grow a brass pair, because I'm trying to do more verbal communication lately than typed out/written out communication. Oh noes, that might end in disaster. Especially because I start stammering after a few, my voice goes really quiet or breaks, I get uncomfortable and fidgety.... and usually end up refusing to look at whoever I'm talking to.
If this is an omen to a depressed cycle, I will flay myself alive; I will manage this somehow and likely with greatly sadomasochistic glee and an entertained/horrified audience. Seriously; too much to do to waste time on being depressed. It really feels like it's gonna be one of those "bricks fall, Sekai's gonna cry" impending moments; better not, I hate crying above everything else and adamantly refuse to do so because it's a useless as hell thing, doesn't do anything for me (and they can shove that spiritual 'it cleanses the souuuuuuuuuul' bull right up their YAH-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~, 'cause it's a lie. Just like the cake) and generally just stresses me out more.
I don't have anything to cry about anyways; I used all my excuses up long ago.
I'm not dreaming well either, the last few "nights" haven't been going so well, had the one recurring one again the morning before last. Likely why my stomach/intestines decided that having one more drunken frat party was a positively wonderful idea. Memo to self: invade my own system and take out Freddy and Jason; those motherfuckers booze it up too much in there and they're both annoying when they're drunk.
Side note: OMFG CHARLIE HORSE. DDDDDDDDDX *grabs leg in comical fashion and snarls*
And for someone who destresses and such by writing in various ways (be it sad, silly, etc)? This is not a good thing and does not make me a happy hanyou. And goddamn that stick of incense was strong, holy shit I was smelling it from the shower. CURSE YOU HANYOU SENSES. CUUUURSES!
>.< not to mention that if I can't write, then I can't really communicate all that well.
....though some part of me must be trying to grow a brass pair, because I'm trying to do more verbal communication lately than typed out/written out communication. Oh noes, that might end in disaster. Especially because I start stammering after a few, my voice goes really quiet or breaks, I get uncomfortable and fidgety.... and usually end up refusing to look at whoever I'm talking to.
If this is an omen to a depressed cycle, I will flay myself alive; I will manage this somehow and likely with greatly sadomasochistic glee and an entertained/horrified audience. Seriously; too much to do to waste time on being depressed. It really feels like it's gonna be one of those "bricks fall, Sekai's gonna cry" impending moments; better not, I hate crying above everything else and adamantly refuse to do so because it's a useless as hell thing, doesn't do anything for me (and they can shove that spiritual 'it cleanses the souuuuuuuuuul' bull right up their YAH-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~, 'cause it's a lie. Just like the cake) and generally just stresses me out more.
I don't have anything to cry about anyways; I used all my excuses up long ago.
I'm not dreaming well either, the last few "nights" haven't been going so well, had the one recurring one again the morning before last. Likely why my stomach/intestines decided that having one more drunken frat party was a positively wonderful idea. Memo to self: invade my own system and take out Freddy and Jason; those motherfuckers booze it up too much in there and they're both annoying when they're drunk.
Side note: OMFG CHARLIE HORSE. DDDDDDDDDX *grabs leg in comical fashion and snarls*