And yet again, I get left
So, it happens again. Another coworker comes in and flashes a diamond on her hand. She turned 23 today. I turn 25 in June. Of the girls that I know, 6 of them are currently engaged. Most of those, if not all of them, are younger then me. I obviously must be doing SOMETHING wrong....
*sigh* but there's little point in being emo about it, i guess. And I'm really happy for them, honestly. I just can't shake the irritation and jealousy at being the one who's left behind. Why can't it be ME? Why can't I have the chance to go running around with that stupid grin on my face and be the one who's dreams are coming true? It's not that I want to be someone's little housewife or something. I don't. But I DO want that next step in my life. I'm tired of being a girlfriend. I don't have much time. That's something that I've known since I was small. And while I certainly have SOME time, I can't help but be impatient. I want a family. Kids, husband, a HOUSE. I want that happy picture that I used to have before it was shattered prematurely. And maybe that's why it stings. Because while I certainly understand that all things come at the pace at which God intends them to, it's almost like the world is rubbing my nose in the fact that all around me, my friends move ahead while I remain stuck. I wanted to have my first kid by 28, but I have to wonder if that's EVER going to happen. Much less whether i'll happen by THEN. Oh well. Congrats to all my married/engaged friends.
*sigh* but there's little point in being emo about it, i guess. And I'm really happy for them, honestly. I just can't shake the irritation and jealousy at being the one who's left behind. Why can't it be ME? Why can't I have the chance to go running around with that stupid grin on my face and be the one who's dreams are coming true? It's not that I want to be someone's little housewife or something. I don't. But I DO want that next step in my life. I'm tired of being a girlfriend. I don't have much time. That's something that I've known since I was small. And while I certainly have SOME time, I can't help but be impatient. I want a family. Kids, husband, a HOUSE. I want that happy picture that I used to have before it was shattered prematurely. And maybe that's why it stings. Because while I certainly understand that all things come at the pace at which God intends them to, it's almost like the world is rubbing my nose in the fact that all around me, my friends move ahead while I remain stuck. I wanted to have my first kid by 28, but I have to wonder if that's EVER going to happen. Much less whether i'll happen by THEN. Oh well. Congrats to all my married/engaged friends.