Life is too short
Early this morning, i've got news that my cousin died in an accident. He was so young, and he have so much ahead of him. He was just 10 days older than me, for goodness sake. And it got me thinking that no matter how old we are, when it come to death it just doesn't matter what your age are.
Well, you could say that he was my childhood friend. We were once very close, but i'm more closer to his sister. But he was a good brother and cousin. When i was around 18, everytime his sister and i wanted to go somewhere, he will be our driver. He will drive us to the place. And later, he will pick his sister up from my place. Oh, i'm going to miss him so much.
Right now, all i want to do is just curl up in a ball and cry my heart out, but i can't. I don't know why, i just can't. I always have trouble with expressing what i am feeling inside. If i'm happy or in my hyper mood, well that's usually my facade anyway. But if i'm sad or angry, i just don't know how to express it. And i will always keep it deep inside my soul. I know it's not healthy, but i've been doing it for as long as i remember, and i don't know how to undo it. Am i a cold-hearted person? Usually, when i'm alone at night, then everything that happened will start to hit me. And that's when i start to feel everything. Am i normal?
Please forgive me for spamming you f-page. I just need to rant my feeling before its eating me inside.
Well, you could say that he was my childhood friend. We were once very close, but i'm more closer to his sister. But he was a good brother and cousin. When i was around 18, everytime his sister and i wanted to go somewhere, he will be our driver. He will drive us to the place. And later, he will pick his sister up from my place. Oh, i'm going to miss him so much.
Right now, all i want to do is just curl up in a ball and cry my heart out, but i can't. I don't know why, i just can't. I always have trouble with expressing what i am feeling inside. If i'm happy or in my hyper mood, well that's usually my facade anyway. But if i'm sad or angry, i just don't know how to express it. And i will always keep it deep inside my soul. I know it's not healthy, but i've been doing it for as long as i remember, and i don't know how to undo it. Am i a cold-hearted person? Usually, when i'm alone at night, then everything that happened will start to hit me. And that's when i start to feel everything. Am i normal?
Please forgive me for spamming you f-page. I just need to rant my feeling before its eating me inside.