I'm Wondering Can You Hear Me, Can You See Me?/
You were never like this before. You never would have picked him over your family. I feel sad inside when I see your selfishness. Every year you'd buy me an easter gift, even if it was just peeps or candy or something dumb... this year... nothing. Another symbol of what has changed. It just hurts to see how my life has fallen apart since...
I want to have kids badly, but part of me doesn't want to have a child that is going to have to grow up with grandparents that are separated. I don't want my kids to have to know brokenness... to know selfishness and split up families.
I felt angry at God today. I felt abandoned by him lately. Like he just lets all this shitty stuff keep happening. I thought that the job Brandon interviewed for would be a shinning spot... I thought it would be a chance to head in the direction I want our little family to... and he didn't even get that. I felt SO disappointed in God. So... LET DOWN by Him.
Then today I was reminded that in respect to what He has done for me, how He has elected to save me, how He CHOSE me, picked me, saved me from my life, my life that was a general feeling of uneasiness, and wrongness, the life that just felt... wrong. He saved me from so much, and I complain about my divorced parents and my husband's sad job situation?
Life HAS to be bigger than all of that.
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I want to have kids badly, but part of me doesn't want to have a child that is going to have to grow up with grandparents that are separated. I don't want my kids to have to know brokenness... to know selfishness and split up families.
I felt angry at God today. I felt abandoned by him lately. Like he just lets all this shitty stuff keep happening. I thought that the job Brandon interviewed for would be a shinning spot... I thought it would be a chance to head in the direction I want our little family to... and he didn't even get that. I felt SO disappointed in God. So... LET DOWN by Him.
Then today I was reminded that in respect to what He has done for me, how He has elected to save me, how He CHOSE me, picked me, saved me from my life, my life that was a general feeling of uneasiness, and wrongness, the life that just felt... wrong. He saved me from so much, and I complain about my divorced parents and my husband's sad job situation?
Life HAS to be bigger than all of that.
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