Sunset by the park.
The sun was setting into a deep red color, about to sink into the lake at the horizon. And by the lake, sat an elderly couple, both with streaking white hair. Quietly they sat, not a single word between them, not much movement also. Distant they may look at first, but with closer examination, they are much much closer than any 2 humans can be. Their eyes are locked in the same direction, admiring the same sunset. The level of comfort shared between 2 of them is clearly evident, they are just so at ease with each others' presence. So much so that this comfort level spreads to all those around them, watching them. They are just so soothing and comfortable to watch, very much like the sunset.
And ever so lightly, the old man hold his partner's hand, and for that, their eyes met for the shortest moment, both sharing a light smile when their eyes met. Then they continue to watch the sunset, holding each others' hands this time. Such simple gesture, such simple expression, and yet, they spell a thousand words, and spill a million emotions.
I look over to the man next to me. And i asked myself, will i be like them in the future to come? Will i have some one to sit beside me, when all my hair turns white? Or will i be all alone?
I cannot help but to think. Gays like us, it is so easy for us to find many many men of all shape, size, age, color, etc, to sleep with. But when we really need that ONE man in our life, why it becomes so hard to find?
Are we all destined to be "shared" by all other gay men around us, and then be chucked aside as "unwanted products" once we have exhausted all our youth, muscles and beauty?
"Do you want to watch sunset with me, for years to come? Or do you prefer to watch the same sun, with different people each time?", i asked him silently, and hold his hand under our jackets.
I had lived beyond the days of using the word "promise". I never promise anything nowadays.
But sincerely, inside me, i "hope", i really really hope, that he will be the one sitting beside me when our hair turns white.
Perhaps i had seen too many men, tasted too many meat. All i ask for now, is just ONE man.
And ever so lightly, the old man hold his partner's hand, and for that, their eyes met for the shortest moment, both sharing a light smile when their eyes met. Then they continue to watch the sunset, holding each others' hands this time. Such simple gesture, such simple expression, and yet, they spell a thousand words, and spill a million emotions.
I look over to the man next to me. And i asked myself, will i be like them in the future to come? Will i have some one to sit beside me, when all my hair turns white? Or will i be all alone?
I cannot help but to think. Gays like us, it is so easy for us to find many many men of all shape, size, age, color, etc, to sleep with. But when we really need that ONE man in our life, why it becomes so hard to find?
Are we all destined to be "shared" by all other gay men around us, and then be chucked aside as "unwanted products" once we have exhausted all our youth, muscles and beauty?
"Do you want to watch sunset with me, for years to come? Or do you prefer to watch the same sun, with different people each time?", i asked him silently, and hold his hand under our jackets.
I had lived beyond the days of using the word "promise". I never promise anything nowadays.
But sincerely, inside me, i "hope", i really really hope, that he will be the one sitting beside me when our hair turns white.
Perhaps i had seen too many men, tasted too many meat. All i ask for now, is just ONE man.