Together?
It had been months since I update my journal. Busy with work and him (not that I mind).
Guess I am tired, emotionally and physically, of lingering in bath houses, orgy parties, sex sessions, etc. Physical pleasure, there will be. But at the end of an action packed day, back on my own bed, alone, no one is around me. Something inside me kept telling me something is not right. Something seemed to tell me it takes more than shooting some cum to satisfy me.
Then he came back (after we fucked, of course).
And yes, I am still with him.
Why? Thought I like to be alone?
Well, I thought so too. But who cares, I feel happy with him. I feel more "substance" in my life now. Now, I can make plans, to travel with him, to spend a weekend at the lake, etc. Instead of making the usual fucking plans (literally).
And best of all, I feel appreaciated. Not just as another piece of fuck tool, for many others to enjoy, but appreciated as who I really am, as a "real" human.
Of course, things are never smooth sailing. We have ups and downs these few months. Downs mainly due to insecurity, lack of trust and lack of understanding. Maybe I had been through too much wild moments in life, until I am scared, that such wild moments will come and take him away from me. At such times, I became paranoid and suspected him. Bad boy.
Moving on from here? Well, he did ask me to move in with him. I felt flatterd but again, scared as well. So far, I have not given him an answer. Will keep him informed when I feel ready.
Guess I am tired, emotionally and physically, of lingering in bath houses, orgy parties, sex sessions, etc. Physical pleasure, there will be. But at the end of an action packed day, back on my own bed, alone, no one is around me. Something inside me kept telling me something is not right. Something seemed to tell me it takes more than shooting some cum to satisfy me.
Then he came back (after we fucked, of course).
And yes, I am still with him.
Why? Thought I like to be alone?
Well, I thought so too. But who cares, I feel happy with him. I feel more "substance" in my life now. Now, I can make plans, to travel with him, to spend a weekend at the lake, etc. Instead of making the usual fucking plans (literally).
And best of all, I feel appreaciated. Not just as another piece of fuck tool, for many others to enjoy, but appreciated as who I really am, as a "real" human.
Of course, things are never smooth sailing. We have ups and downs these few months. Downs mainly due to insecurity, lack of trust and lack of understanding. Maybe I had been through too much wild moments in life, until I am scared, that such wild moments will come and take him away from me. At such times, I became paranoid and suspected him. Bad boy.
Moving on from here? Well, he did ask me to move in with him. I felt flatterd but again, scared as well. So far, I have not given him an answer. Will keep him informed when I feel ready.