Contemplating Life
I've been reading old entries from 2004. I wrote a lot and about nothing important worth remembering. I apologize to those that read my entries back then. Sometimes when I read stuff from my teens and early 20s, I think that I sound super annoying. But people liked me, so maybe I wasn't. I guess I just know how much I've changed since then, and I THINK it's for the better. I like myself more now anyway.
I was having a conversation with some family the other night about getting older. We were talking about being 60 and having to live 20 more years to reach 80, and how that just seems exhausting. I mean, I'm barely reaching my 30th year, and I feel like I've been around forever. What will that feel like? And we actually spend more of our lives being old than we do being young. And all the major milestones that I thought about reaching have already been reached. Like marriage, kids, college. What do I reach for next? I mean, I still want more kids, but what's the next major step? I have no idea.
Getting older is strange. So very strange.
Back to my lj entries... I have enjoyed reading them even if I do find myself annoying. I like reading stuff I learned in class. I took a lot of quizzes, so that's annoying. haha It's strange how life changes in 10 years. I thought yesterday about how 10 years ago I was in college and wondering if I was going to marry Andrew, and now here I am married to him, and we have three children together, and we live in Laredo, Texas. Then, I thought about what life will be like in 10 more years, and I realized that Evan will be 17 years old, Lauren will be 15, and Owen will be 9. Weird, weird. Evan will be close to graduating high school. And it's weird b/c 10 years ago doesn't seem that long, so that means that 10 years from now will be here before I know it. Almost makes me want to cry.
It's strange how I thought I knew who I was 10 years ago, but now I feel like I didn't really know myself at all.
well, I better go. Owen escaped and was at the top pf the stairs. He's getting brave, and it scares me. Babies....
I was having a conversation with some family the other night about getting older. We were talking about being 60 and having to live 20 more years to reach 80, and how that just seems exhausting. I mean, I'm barely reaching my 30th year, and I feel like I've been around forever. What will that feel like? And we actually spend more of our lives being old than we do being young. And all the major milestones that I thought about reaching have already been reached. Like marriage, kids, college. What do I reach for next? I mean, I still want more kids, but what's the next major step? I have no idea.
Getting older is strange. So very strange.
Back to my lj entries... I have enjoyed reading them even if I do find myself annoying. I like reading stuff I learned in class. I took a lot of quizzes, so that's annoying. haha It's strange how life changes in 10 years. I thought yesterday about how 10 years ago I was in college and wondering if I was going to marry Andrew, and now here I am married to him, and we have three children together, and we live in Laredo, Texas. Then, I thought about what life will be like in 10 more years, and I realized that Evan will be 17 years old, Lauren will be 15, and Owen will be 9. Weird, weird. Evan will be close to graduating high school. And it's weird b/c 10 years ago doesn't seem that long, so that means that 10 years from now will be here before I know it. Almost makes me want to cry.
It's strange how I thought I knew who I was 10 years ago, but now I feel like I didn't really know myself at all.
well, I better go. Owen escaped and was at the top pf the stairs. He's getting brave, and it scares me. Babies....