The saga begins...
I apologize in advance for the length of this entry. I have a lot to tell.
Since the computers here at the hospital won't let me go to livejournal or facebook, I'm e-mailing this entry to Andrew, and he has agreed to post it for me. I'm glad my husband accepts my journal obsession.
So, life has been a little crazy for us lately. Okay, a lot crazy. As most of you probably already know, our little Lauren was born February 8th at 1:06pm. She weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 21 inches long. I got to hold her for maybe two minutes and they took her back to the nursery telling me that she'd be back in an hour or so. See, the problem was that she pooped before she came out. And when she finally came out, she breathed some of it in. Miconium aspiration, is what they call it. They had to put her under an oxygen hood. Hours passed and they kept telling me that they thought she was going to be okay. Eventually, that night after all our family had left, the pediatrician on call came to tell us that they did an x-ray of her lungs and she had double pneumonia. The x-rays looked pretty darn bad, and so they were going to send her to Huntsville (which is an hour away) right away to the NICU there b/c they were afraid that if it got worse, they wouldn't have the resources to help her.
I was floored. I had this perfect pregnancy and perfect labor and delivery and they're sending my baby to the NICU? As soon as the doctor walked out, I burst into tears. Andrew came and hugged me. I had never really seen Andrew be emotional before, but I did that night. Our new little baby girl was being taken from us. And to top it all off, I couldn't go with her b/c they wouldn't discharge me. We waited with her in the nursery until they took her away. Thankfully, Andrew was able to give her a father's blessing before she left. (For non-LDS people, go to lds.org or mormon.org and look up priesthood blessings.) That made me feel better. Andrew stayed with me that night, but neither of us slept much. The next morning, Andrew left to go to Huntsville with his mom, dad, and Evan. My dad showed up to be with me, but thankfully, they discharged me that morning. We left the hospital around 9:00am and eventually made our way over to Huntsville.
I was so exhausted. I had just had a baby and got little sleep, but I wanted to be with my little girl. She needed me. Well, at least, I needed her. When Andrew and his father got there that morning, they were able to go into her and give her another blessing. I don't know how many of you believe in miracles, but our family definitely experienced one. Shortly after they gave her the blessing, Lauren was able to get off oxygen and breathe room air. The next morning when Andrew and I went to visit her, they had moved her out of the NICU and into the progressive nursery. She seemed healthy and after a couple of days, they let her go home. While I was there with her one day, a group of doctors came around and one of them looked at her binder and said, "Oh, I remember this one. This is the baby that got miraculously better!" I almost started crying right then and there. He told me the day of her discharge that her lungs looked really bad on the x-rays, but somehow she got better really quickly. I'm pretty sure I know why. :)
We brought her home Thursday afternoon. Friday morning, I took her to the doctor for a check-up, ran some errands, and just did normal every day things. That night, Joshua and Anna came over to hang out. Anna was trying to feed her about 8:00pm, but she just wasn't interested, which was odd b/c that girl loved to eat. A little bit later, she spit up. But it wasn't just normal spit up. It was pretty much vomit. Then she did it again, and this time it came out of her nose. She couldn't breathe and it scared the living crap out of me. She vomited one more time, and then finally finished her bottle. A little bit later, I was changing her diaper and thought I saw a little bit of blood in her poop. I showed Andrew, but neither of us were sure that's what it was. Then she pooped again, and it was pretty much all blood. I know this is gross, but it was so much blood, it looked like period. She had several poops like this throughout the rest of the night. I think she had about five. She also wouldn't eat. We had to force her to eat. Whereas before she was eating about three ounces, that night I could barely get her to eat one. The next morning I called the doctor's office and they told me to come in immediately. I left in a hurry and snuck out so Evan wouldn't be upset that I left. I didn't even give him a hug goodbye.
I got to the doctor's office, and the doctor told me that this was pretty serious. He gave me a couple of scenarios and both of them involved an operation. He told me that she was going to have to go back to Huntsville. I couldn't fight back the tears. I had just gotten my baby home, and they're talking about sending her back again? It was just too much. He told me to take her to the ER at ECM and the Huntsville hospital would transport her from there. We went over to the ER, and after they admitted her, they told me they were going to have to give her an IV. Apparently, Lauren had extremely tiny veins (well, duh, she was only six days old!), and they had the hardest time getting an IV in her. I've never seen them stick one person so many times in my life. It was heartbreaking. There I was watching my baby be in pain and watching these people do it, and I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. And I knew that she needed that IV b/c she needed fluids. She was getting dehydrated b/c she wasn't eating. But it hurt so much. They finally got one in and took her to Huntsville. The nurse in the ER gave me a hug. It was kinda weird, but I really needed one. I walked out to my car in the parking deck, saw the car seat, and broke down completely. I don't think I've cried so much in my life.
I went home and showered, and Andrew and I went to Huntsville. We got to the ER there, and they told us that they needed to draw some blood. So even more sticking. My poor little baby. They had a hard time getting blood from her. I had to leave a few times. They did some x-rays of her abdomen, and the doctor told us he thought she had a condition called NEC. It's pretty common in preemie babies but not so much in full-term babies. He said that since their pediatric surgeon was out of town on vacation (great timing, huh?) that they'd have to send us to Birmingham. Not that she would necessarily need surgery, but they wanted to have her somewhere where one would be available just in case. So Children's Hospital in Birmingham sent a helicopter to Huntsville to pick up Lauren and I watched as my baby was taken from me yet again. Luckily, Andrew and his dad were able to give her yet another blessing before she left.
Andrew and I made our way down to B'ham. Not only was I sad that my baby was sick and going to B'ham, I was upset that I didn't even get to hug my son goodbye. I felt torn between my children. I felt like I was choosing one over the other. Basically, I was a complete basketcase. That's what I felt like anyway. One of the nurses in Huntsville told me that I was actually holding up really well. That's not what I felt like.
We made it to B'ham at about 10:00pm. They had her all hooked up, but they didn't really tell us a whole lot b/c they still had to run some tests. Andrew and I left to find a hotel b/c we were exhausted. The hospital had given us a list of hotels that gave discounts to people with children in the hospital. We called around, but no one had any vacancies. Did I mention that this was Valentine's Day? I'm assuming that's why. We finally found a place with a vacancy. With the discount, it ended up being about $70. You'd think that would make it a nice place to stay, right? Wrong. It was disgusting. We were afraid we were going to get a disease. We didn't shower there. We didn't even walk around barefoot. Gross. We left as soon as possible the next day.
Anyway, to make a long story short (not that this narrative is short), Andrew had to go home to work and go to school, and I am here in B'ham with Lauren. They've done x-rays everyday since she's been here and have not seen whatever Huntsville saw that convinced them it was NEC. (I really think it was b/c of that blessing she received before she left.) However, they are still treating it as NEC which means that she has to be on antibiotics for 10 days and can't eat. They're giving her nutrients through an IV, but the poor baby is hungry. Thankfully, we're already on day four of the antibiotics, so only six more days to go. After that they'll slowly start feeding her again and see how she does. They're still not entirely convinced it's NEC. The doctors said it could be a milk protein allergy. But NEC is such a serious condition (parts of her intestines could die if not treated) that they're not taking any chances. She seems to be doing fairly well considering the circumstances. She's a fighter.
This has definitely been an... experience. There has been such an overwhelming outpouring of love for our family. So many people have helped us. My sister-in-law Megan's parents let me stay in their home in Huntsville while I was there and even drove me back and forth to the hospital. Here in B'ham, a man I didn't even know that my father-in-law knew let me stay in an apartment at his law office for a night. And now I'm staying with my dear friend Holly's mother. My own family has been so willing to help us. We've gotten so many messages of love and support and people telling us that they're praying for our little girl. I had no idea so many people cared.
I'm trying to be optimistic, but it's hard sometimes. Thankfully, I get good news about Lauren every day that keeps me afloat. I miss my little family so much. I found out Monday night that my little Evan has a fever and was feeling awful. It absolutely broke my heart that I couldn't be there to comfort him. He was supposed to come down today with my sister and step-mom, but he still has a fever. I hate being away, but I know I need to be here with Lauren, too.
Things could be much worse, and I try to count my blessings every day. Thanks to everyone for your love and support. It has meant the world to me. Hopefully, we'll be out of here soon.
Since the computers here at the hospital won't let me go to livejournal or facebook, I'm e-mailing this entry to Andrew, and he has agreed to post it for me. I'm glad my husband accepts my journal obsession.
So, life has been a little crazy for us lately. Okay, a lot crazy. As most of you probably already know, our little Lauren was born February 8th at 1:06pm. She weighed 8 lbs 3 oz and was 21 inches long. I got to hold her for maybe two minutes and they took her back to the nursery telling me that she'd be back in an hour or so. See, the problem was that she pooped before she came out. And when she finally came out, she breathed some of it in. Miconium aspiration, is what they call it. They had to put her under an oxygen hood. Hours passed and they kept telling me that they thought she was going to be okay. Eventually, that night after all our family had left, the pediatrician on call came to tell us that they did an x-ray of her lungs and she had double pneumonia. The x-rays looked pretty darn bad, and so they were going to send her to Huntsville (which is an hour away) right away to the NICU there b/c they were afraid that if it got worse, they wouldn't have the resources to help her.
I was floored. I had this perfect pregnancy and perfect labor and delivery and they're sending my baby to the NICU? As soon as the doctor walked out, I burst into tears. Andrew came and hugged me. I had never really seen Andrew be emotional before, but I did that night. Our new little baby girl was being taken from us. And to top it all off, I couldn't go with her b/c they wouldn't discharge me. We waited with her in the nursery until they took her away. Thankfully, Andrew was able to give her a father's blessing before she left. (For non-LDS people, go to lds.org or mormon.org and look up priesthood blessings.) That made me feel better. Andrew stayed with me that night, but neither of us slept much. The next morning, Andrew left to go to Huntsville with his mom, dad, and Evan. My dad showed up to be with me, but thankfully, they discharged me that morning. We left the hospital around 9:00am and eventually made our way over to Huntsville.
I was so exhausted. I had just had a baby and got little sleep, but I wanted to be with my little girl. She needed me. Well, at least, I needed her. When Andrew and his father got there that morning, they were able to go into her and give her another blessing. I don't know how many of you believe in miracles, but our family definitely experienced one. Shortly after they gave her the blessing, Lauren was able to get off oxygen and breathe room air. The next morning when Andrew and I went to visit her, they had moved her out of the NICU and into the progressive nursery. She seemed healthy and after a couple of days, they let her go home. While I was there with her one day, a group of doctors came around and one of them looked at her binder and said, "Oh, I remember this one. This is the baby that got miraculously better!" I almost started crying right then and there. He told me the day of her discharge that her lungs looked really bad on the x-rays, but somehow she got better really quickly. I'm pretty sure I know why. :)
We brought her home Thursday afternoon. Friday morning, I took her to the doctor for a check-up, ran some errands, and just did normal every day things. That night, Joshua and Anna came over to hang out. Anna was trying to feed her about 8:00pm, but she just wasn't interested, which was odd b/c that girl loved to eat. A little bit later, she spit up. But it wasn't just normal spit up. It was pretty much vomit. Then she did it again, and this time it came out of her nose. She couldn't breathe and it scared the living crap out of me. She vomited one more time, and then finally finished her bottle. A little bit later, I was changing her diaper and thought I saw a little bit of blood in her poop. I showed Andrew, but neither of us were sure that's what it was. Then she pooped again, and it was pretty much all blood. I know this is gross, but it was so much blood, it looked like period. She had several poops like this throughout the rest of the night. I think she had about five. She also wouldn't eat. We had to force her to eat. Whereas before she was eating about three ounces, that night I could barely get her to eat one. The next morning I called the doctor's office and they told me to come in immediately. I left in a hurry and snuck out so Evan wouldn't be upset that I left. I didn't even give him a hug goodbye.
I got to the doctor's office, and the doctor told me that this was pretty serious. He gave me a couple of scenarios and both of them involved an operation. He told me that she was going to have to go back to Huntsville. I couldn't fight back the tears. I had just gotten my baby home, and they're talking about sending her back again? It was just too much. He told me to take her to the ER at ECM and the Huntsville hospital would transport her from there. We went over to the ER, and after they admitted her, they told me they were going to have to give her an IV. Apparently, Lauren had extremely tiny veins (well, duh, she was only six days old!), and they had the hardest time getting an IV in her. I've never seen them stick one person so many times in my life. It was heartbreaking. There I was watching my baby be in pain and watching these people do it, and I couldn't do anything to make her feel better. And I knew that she needed that IV b/c she needed fluids. She was getting dehydrated b/c she wasn't eating. But it hurt so much. They finally got one in and took her to Huntsville. The nurse in the ER gave me a hug. It was kinda weird, but I really needed one. I walked out to my car in the parking deck, saw the car seat, and broke down completely. I don't think I've cried so much in my life.
I went home and showered, and Andrew and I went to Huntsville. We got to the ER there, and they told us that they needed to draw some blood. So even more sticking. My poor little baby. They had a hard time getting blood from her. I had to leave a few times. They did some x-rays of her abdomen, and the doctor told us he thought she had a condition called NEC. It's pretty common in preemie babies but not so much in full-term babies. He said that since their pediatric surgeon was out of town on vacation (great timing, huh?) that they'd have to send us to Birmingham. Not that she would necessarily need surgery, but they wanted to have her somewhere where one would be available just in case. So Children's Hospital in Birmingham sent a helicopter to Huntsville to pick up Lauren and I watched as my baby was taken from me yet again. Luckily, Andrew and his dad were able to give her yet another blessing before she left.
Andrew and I made our way down to B'ham. Not only was I sad that my baby was sick and going to B'ham, I was upset that I didn't even get to hug my son goodbye. I felt torn between my children. I felt like I was choosing one over the other. Basically, I was a complete basketcase. That's what I felt like anyway. One of the nurses in Huntsville told me that I was actually holding up really well. That's not what I felt like.
We made it to B'ham at about 10:00pm. They had her all hooked up, but they didn't really tell us a whole lot b/c they still had to run some tests. Andrew and I left to find a hotel b/c we were exhausted. The hospital had given us a list of hotels that gave discounts to people with children in the hospital. We called around, but no one had any vacancies. Did I mention that this was Valentine's Day? I'm assuming that's why. We finally found a place with a vacancy. With the discount, it ended up being about $70. You'd think that would make it a nice place to stay, right? Wrong. It was disgusting. We were afraid we were going to get a disease. We didn't shower there. We didn't even walk around barefoot. Gross. We left as soon as possible the next day.
Anyway, to make a long story short (not that this narrative is short), Andrew had to go home to work and go to school, and I am here in B'ham with Lauren. They've done x-rays everyday since she's been here and have not seen whatever Huntsville saw that convinced them it was NEC. (I really think it was b/c of that blessing she received before she left.) However, they are still treating it as NEC which means that she has to be on antibiotics for 10 days and can't eat. They're giving her nutrients through an IV, but the poor baby is hungry. Thankfully, we're already on day four of the antibiotics, so only six more days to go. After that they'll slowly start feeding her again and see how she does. They're still not entirely convinced it's NEC. The doctors said it could be a milk protein allergy. But NEC is such a serious condition (parts of her intestines could die if not treated) that they're not taking any chances. She seems to be doing fairly well considering the circumstances. She's a fighter.
This has definitely been an... experience. There has been such an overwhelming outpouring of love for our family. So many people have helped us. My sister-in-law Megan's parents let me stay in their home in Huntsville while I was there and even drove me back and forth to the hospital. Here in B'ham, a man I didn't even know that my father-in-law knew let me stay in an apartment at his law office for a night. And now I'm staying with my dear friend Holly's mother. My own family has been so willing to help us. We've gotten so many messages of love and support and people telling us that they're praying for our little girl. I had no idea so many people cared.
I'm trying to be optimistic, but it's hard sometimes. Thankfully, I get good news about Lauren every day that keeps me afloat. I miss my little family so much. I found out Monday night that my little Evan has a fever and was feeling awful. It absolutely broke my heart that I couldn't be there to comfort him. He was supposed to come down today with my sister and step-mom, but he still has a fever. I hate being away, but I know I need to be here with Lauren, too.
Things could be much worse, and I try to count my blessings every day. Thanks to everyone for your love and support. It has meant the world to me. Hopefully, we'll be out of here soon.