oh could i have been a parking lot attendant
I always seem to have one of these days just when I've had a decent amount of good ones. It's not that today was bad, I just find myself questioning myself more and more. I used to sit through my music business classes with Petri completely in awe and knowing for certain that it was what I wanted to do with my life.
Sunday I layed in bed for a long time watching a tribute to Steve Irwin on Animal Planet and now I'm very confused. I am the type of person that doesn't deal well with other people's games, lies, indecision, etc. Why am I hoping to get into an industry that breeds on dishonesty and greed? From the day I was born I loved being outside, loved animals, loved everything in between the two. Until I was about 13 i think, I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I told my mom I was thinking about majoring in music during my senior year in high school she was surprised. It's always something I've been around, wanted to help with, felt comfortable around. I live in the woods, I know so much about all of it, but most importantly it's where I'm the happiest, because it's QUIET. I don't like dealing with shallow materialistic people. What the hell am I doing?
Sometimes I think if I were to be in that field--not even veterinary sciences necessarily, more of a conservation aspect I think, much like Steve Irwin--I would be doing something that was truly good, something that I could be whole-heartedly in love with, something that people could respect. I watch that kind of stuff and I think why am I not doing that?? And I've never really thought that about the music industry. I sat here at my desk last night looking at this 7 billion-page 'Legal Aspects Of The Music Industry' book and REALLY wondered what I was getting myself into. I realize there are downsides to whatever I choose to do with my life, but it just seems like I have it all backwards lately.
I miss Sadie...Jes and I were talking about her in the car today and it made me sad.
I need something new...someone or somthing that can come into my life and rejuvenate everything; make me feel like I have a fresh start. I'm quite certain that I don't have enough of that in my life, although there definitely is some of it there. But who doesn't want more happiness?:)
I listen to certain songs just for certain fragments of them that send chills down my spine.
-the last 40 seconds of Dancing Nancies by DMB
-0:15-0:39 of Secretly by Skunk Anansie
-2:50-3:10 of For Your Life by Led Zeppelin
-3:20-3:47 of The Only Living Boy in NY by Simon and Garfunkel
-2:04-2:40 of Get Together by the Youngbloods
-the first 30 seconds of Bookends Theme by Simon and Garfunkel
-1:10-1:29 of #41 by DMB
-1:00-1:17 of Ten Years Gone by Zeppelin (and again from 3:44-4:05)
-2:08-2:30 of Babe I'm Gonna Leave You by Zeppelin
I like that I spent forever bitching about majoring in the Music Business and then I spent like a half hour going through those songs and the times and compiling a list that no one will even give a shit about. lol
I'm starting to think a relationship would be nice. But where ohhh wherreeee will I find someone worth my time??
I may have an idea...but we'll see :)
Sunday I layed in bed for a long time watching a tribute to Steve Irwin on Animal Planet and now I'm very confused. I am the type of person that doesn't deal well with other people's games, lies, indecision, etc. Why am I hoping to get into an industry that breeds on dishonesty and greed? From the day I was born I loved being outside, loved animals, loved everything in between the two. Until I was about 13 i think, I wanted to be a veterinarian. When I told my mom I was thinking about majoring in music during my senior year in high school she was surprised. It's always something I've been around, wanted to help with, felt comfortable around. I live in the woods, I know so much about all of it, but most importantly it's where I'm the happiest, because it's QUIET. I don't like dealing with shallow materialistic people. What the hell am I doing?
Sometimes I think if I were to be in that field--not even veterinary sciences necessarily, more of a conservation aspect I think, much like Steve Irwin--I would be doing something that was truly good, something that I could be whole-heartedly in love with, something that people could respect. I watch that kind of stuff and I think why am I not doing that?? And I've never really thought that about the music industry. I sat here at my desk last night looking at this 7 billion-page 'Legal Aspects Of The Music Industry' book and REALLY wondered what I was getting myself into. I realize there are downsides to whatever I choose to do with my life, but it just seems like I have it all backwards lately.
I miss Sadie...Jes and I were talking about her in the car today and it made me sad.
I need something new...someone or somthing that can come into my life and rejuvenate everything; make me feel like I have a fresh start. I'm quite certain that I don't have enough of that in my life, although there definitely is some of it there. But who doesn't want more happiness?:)
I listen to certain songs just for certain fragments of them that send chills down my spine.
-the last 40 seconds of Dancing Nancies by DMB
-0:15-0:39 of Secretly by Skunk Anansie
-2:50-3:10 of For Your Life by Led Zeppelin
-3:20-3:47 of The Only Living Boy in NY by Simon and Garfunkel
-2:04-2:40 of Get Together by the Youngbloods
-the first 30 seconds of Bookends Theme by Simon and Garfunkel
-1:10-1:29 of #41 by DMB
-1:00-1:17 of Ten Years Gone by Zeppelin (and again from 3:44-4:05)
-2:08-2:30 of Babe I'm Gonna Leave You by Zeppelin
I like that I spent forever bitching about majoring in the Music Business and then I spent like a half hour going through those songs and the times and compiling a list that no one will even give a shit about. lol
I'm starting to think a relationship would be nice. But where ohhh wherreeee will I find someone worth my time??
I may have an idea...but we'll see :)