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So I have this internal debate that goes on in my head. It goes something like this...
"I can't stand it anymore. I need a change. My life here just doesn't cut it. I have to go... somewhere else... San Francisco... New York... South America... or maybe Europe"
"But wait... could I really leave... what would it be like to be away from my friends... my job... my parents... all that change... I couldn't handle it"
"But maybe I'm just avoiding change... maybe there isn't much left in L.A. for me... maybe I'm just running from the fact that I'm afraid to make real change"
"Wait I have so much here--- great friends, close contacts, groups I'm involved with, a steady job, a great apartment"
"But no close relationship... and I'm always having falling outs with friends. And L.A. is just plain too vacous for me"
Anyway, it goes on and on. I have this internal debate at least once a week. It's hard to know when you've been somewhere for a while, if you're starting to feel a bit too comfortable or just comfortable enough.
I don't really have an answer to this internal debate. But I do know this... when I'm driving home and I turn onto my street (Willoughby)....I get the feeling I know this place. I've driven by each house, each tree, each plant, each sign so many times, that if you gave me a blank map I could place all of them on it. When I pull into my driveway... the reaction is physical... I can feel my body relaxing. It's home.
"I can't stand it anymore. I need a change. My life here just doesn't cut it. I have to go... somewhere else... San Francisco... New York... South America... or maybe Europe"
"But wait... could I really leave... what would it be like to be away from my friends... my job... my parents... all that change... I couldn't handle it"
"But maybe I'm just avoiding change... maybe there isn't much left in L.A. for me... maybe I'm just running from the fact that I'm afraid to make real change"
"Wait I have so much here--- great friends, close contacts, groups I'm involved with, a steady job, a great apartment"
"But no close relationship... and I'm always having falling outs with friends. And L.A. is just plain too vacous for me"
Anyway, it goes on and on. I have this internal debate at least once a week. It's hard to know when you've been somewhere for a while, if you're starting to feel a bit too comfortable or just comfortable enough.
I don't really have an answer to this internal debate. But I do know this... when I'm driving home and I turn onto my street (Willoughby)....I get the feeling I know this place. I've driven by each house, each tree, each plant, each sign so many times, that if you gave me a blank map I could place all of them on it. When I pull into my driveway... the reaction is physical... I can feel my body relaxing. It's home.