radically self loving
so you may have seen my new myspace picture in which I look like one hot fucking bitch. it might surprise you to know that I get off on how hot I look and how people react to how hot I look. At this point in my life, I get off on the fact that it turns other people on, or draws their attention, or really that I project something powerful that other people want. But at another point in my life, I got off on the idea of being a hot female in the sexual sense. A.K.A. I got turned on.
I had an interesting experience today whether a good transwoman of color friend of mine asked me about the term autogynephilia. It surpised me to learn that someone who I've worked so closely with for two years, who I would count as a friend, had never heard of a concept that at one time was so central to my transition. For the unitiated, autogynephilia is getting turned on by the image of yourself as a woman. It's posited as a motivation for many lesbian transwomen's transitions. Autogynephilia is practically unknown in the trans-of-color community, and that's largely because it's one of the most hated and least talked about words among the mainstream white trans community. There's a good reason it's hated-- the people who created the term are homophobic clinicians who don't even acknowledge the chosen gender of transpeople. But on top of that, educated white lesbian transsexuals really don't want the world knowing they've got such perverted desires. Nothing cuts a class/race priveliged person down quicker than the discovery that they're way more freaky than they're trying to appear. My transwoman of color friend's reaction says it all-- "wow, those people are really weird"
So what is really wrong with loving the image of yourself in your chosen gender? Ok loving the image of yourself in any manner might be a bit narcissitic... but frankly narcissism is one of the main motivations of practically every person I've met in my lifetime. We're all narcissistic-- the difference is some of us love only ourselves, to the point of ignoring other people around us. Other than that, I'm off the opinion that any form of self-love is positive. And loving yourself to the point of turning yourself on-- well that's just awesome. All in all, the only thing I think is wrong with the term "autogynephilia" is that it's a terrible sounding word for something that's fundamentally beautiful. So for all of us who've gotten turned on by the idea of ourselves as female, I'd like to propose we throw out the term "autogynephilia" in favor of "radically self loving". And I'll be the first to say it-- I am a radically self loving woman.
But you know what-- that's not all. I'm a transwoman. I'm a lesbian. I'm crazy, in the clinical sense. I'm a sex crazed radically self loving pervert. The sum total of which makes me a normal fucking human being. And you know what else-- I navigate my sexual relationships, and my interpersonal relationships in general for that matter, with honesty, kindness, and respect for boundaries. Honestly, what percentage of straight people do that anyway? If I get off on how hot I am, is it really worse than the guy who doesn't understand that no means no? The measure of a person is not whether they are "normal" by societies standards, or whether they have taken their particular 'abnormality' and repackaged it in a way that is 'acceptable' by societies standards (see gay movement and current efforts of trans movement), but whether they are decent to other people. I guess I should include "decent person" in my list of identities too.
I had an interesting experience today whether a good transwoman of color friend of mine asked me about the term autogynephilia. It surpised me to learn that someone who I've worked so closely with for two years, who I would count as a friend, had never heard of a concept that at one time was so central to my transition. For the unitiated, autogynephilia is getting turned on by the image of yourself as a woman. It's posited as a motivation for many lesbian transwomen's transitions. Autogynephilia is practically unknown in the trans-of-color community, and that's largely because it's one of the most hated and least talked about words among the mainstream white trans community. There's a good reason it's hated-- the people who created the term are homophobic clinicians who don't even acknowledge the chosen gender of transpeople. But on top of that, educated white lesbian transsexuals really don't want the world knowing they've got such perverted desires. Nothing cuts a class/race priveliged person down quicker than the discovery that they're way more freaky than they're trying to appear. My transwoman of color friend's reaction says it all-- "wow, those people are really weird"
So what is really wrong with loving the image of yourself in your chosen gender? Ok loving the image of yourself in any manner might be a bit narcissitic... but frankly narcissism is one of the main motivations of practically every person I've met in my lifetime. We're all narcissistic-- the difference is some of us love only ourselves, to the point of ignoring other people around us. Other than that, I'm off the opinion that any form of self-love is positive. And loving yourself to the point of turning yourself on-- well that's just awesome. All in all, the only thing I think is wrong with the term "autogynephilia" is that it's a terrible sounding word for something that's fundamentally beautiful. So for all of us who've gotten turned on by the idea of ourselves as female, I'd like to propose we throw out the term "autogynephilia" in favor of "radically self loving". And I'll be the first to say it-- I am a radically self loving woman.
But you know what-- that's not all. I'm a transwoman. I'm a lesbian. I'm crazy, in the clinical sense. I'm a sex crazed radically self loving pervert. The sum total of which makes me a normal fucking human being. And you know what else-- I navigate my sexual relationships, and my interpersonal relationships in general for that matter, with honesty, kindness, and respect for boundaries. Honestly, what percentage of straight people do that anyway? If I get off on how hot I am, is it really worse than the guy who doesn't understand that no means no? The measure of a person is not whether they are "normal" by societies standards, or whether they have taken their particular 'abnormality' and repackaged it in a way that is 'acceptable' by societies standards (see gay movement and current efforts of trans movement), but whether they are decent to other people. I guess I should include "decent person" in my list of identities too.