going forward, looking back
Well something interesting happened to me...
I've lost my ability to reproduce. I've been off hormones for two and a half months, but my ability to well... you know... has not returned. Not at all.
So I can do a lot of things in my life now, but competing in the Darwinian process is not going to be one of them. It's weird-- you never think about how much certain assumptions underly the process of your life until suddenly they're not an option any more. And I guess it's kind of got me thinking.
I'm 27, and I feel like I've experienced a lot for my age. It's weird-- I see life a lot differently than I did when I was younger. I lot of the things I believed turned out not to be true. A lot of the time while I've been doing one thing I've really been trying to do something completely different. A lot of the things that were really scary ten years ago aren't that scary now. I guess I feel kind of familiar with myself.
Yet there are still things that upset me and feel unfufilled. I'm starting to feel like maybe I will never fulfill some of my wishes, and I guess that will be ok. I always expected I would have a certain kind of innocent lesbian romance, and I realize that may not happen. I kind of see that fantasy as a bit narcisistic now. I certainly wanted and expected to have kids, and kind of assumed that they'd be sharing my genes, but maybe that's not in cards. I guess I'm never going to be drop-dead gorgeous, unless I have a shit load of work done. In a way I think I already sorta am.:)
Somehow I feel like this is what I should be thinking when I'm sixty, not twenty-seven. I sometimes feel like this is a side effect of being off hormones-- these days when I'm not on hormones, I feel like I'm not really myself, kind of more standing back and observing myself. In other ways I think it's not-- I do feel like I'm at some sort of turning point, and I don't think there's really a right or wrong way to go. I guess I'll just take a step forward.
On a totally different subject, in the "Gee, big surprise" department...
You are a Grassroots Activist. Anti-capitalist,
anti-patrist, anti-authoritarian, whatever,
you're just fuckin' anti. You probably tell
people you hate postmodernism, but that
assertion elides the complex interdependencies
among academic poststructuralism and
street-level activism. You don't bathe
regularly, and know at least one person who has
scabbies.
What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla
For the record, I DO bathe regularly, and I don't know anyone who has scabbies
I've lost my ability to reproduce. I've been off hormones for two and a half months, but my ability to well... you know... has not returned. Not at all.
So I can do a lot of things in my life now, but competing in the Darwinian process is not going to be one of them. It's weird-- you never think about how much certain assumptions underly the process of your life until suddenly they're not an option any more. And I guess it's kind of got me thinking.
I'm 27, and I feel like I've experienced a lot for my age. It's weird-- I see life a lot differently than I did when I was younger. I lot of the things I believed turned out not to be true. A lot of the time while I've been doing one thing I've really been trying to do something completely different. A lot of the things that were really scary ten years ago aren't that scary now. I guess I feel kind of familiar with myself.
Yet there are still things that upset me and feel unfufilled. I'm starting to feel like maybe I will never fulfill some of my wishes, and I guess that will be ok. I always expected I would have a certain kind of innocent lesbian romance, and I realize that may not happen. I kind of see that fantasy as a bit narcisistic now. I certainly wanted and expected to have kids, and kind of assumed that they'd be sharing my genes, but maybe that's not in cards. I guess I'm never going to be drop-dead gorgeous, unless I have a shit load of work done. In a way I think I already sorta am.:)
Somehow I feel like this is what I should be thinking when I'm sixty, not twenty-seven. I sometimes feel like this is a side effect of being off hormones-- these days when I'm not on hormones, I feel like I'm not really myself, kind of more standing back and observing myself. In other ways I think it's not-- I do feel like I'm at some sort of turning point, and I don't think there's really a right or wrong way to go. I guess I'll just take a step forward.
On a totally different subject, in the "Gee, big surprise" department...
You are a Grassroots Activist. Anti-capitalist,
anti-patrist, anti-authoritarian, whatever,
you're just fuckin' anti. You probably tell
people you hate postmodernism, but that
assertion elides the complex interdependencies
among academic poststructuralism and
street-level activism. You don't bathe
regularly, and know at least one person who has
scabbies.
What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla
For the record, I DO bathe regularly, and I don't know anyone who has scabbies