Time waits for no man...
My grandparents are old, they are the only ones left, the rest of my grandparents have all passed.
They've been there since i was born, i lived with them for the first 6 years of my life.
Granddad taught me Chinese chess, how to be a honest person, fed me potato chips and showed me off to his friends.
Grandma cooks my favourite beehoon and curry.
You know how the older generation has proximity issues? Every time i hug them they'll look so sheepish but yet smiling.
I remember one day i went out for dinner with aunty and i went to sleep over at gramma's house. It was late and house was dark. Gramma was sitting in the lighted kitchen eating porridge, waiting up for us. At that moment the image of her made me cry, we were off enjoying a buffet and she was alone waiting up...
Today i was watching granddad eat his lunch, he's mobility and memory is going and i could see him struggling.
Not just struggling with the pain but the loss of pride as well. Granddad was a strong man who lived relying on himself. The need to rely on people was painful for him, i could see how badly he wanted to overcome the physical restraints of his body, but he can't. It was a prison, a cage of decaying flesh. When i watched him, i realized how much i wanted my grandparents to regain their youth, to be able to push me on the swing again, to take their favourite walks without worrying their families and carry their grandchildren again.
On the way home, i realized just how little time they had left. I prayed that they would hold on till after my A levels, i don't think i could deal with their deaths. Selfish as it may seem, i don't want to die, ever. I made a decision to spend their last few years making them feel loved. They deserved that much. God help me to fulfil this wish.
They've been there since i was born, i lived with them for the first 6 years of my life.
Granddad taught me Chinese chess, how to be a honest person, fed me potato chips and showed me off to his friends.
Grandma cooks my favourite beehoon and curry.
You know how the older generation has proximity issues? Every time i hug them they'll look so sheepish but yet smiling.
I remember one day i went out for dinner with aunty and i went to sleep over at gramma's house. It was late and house was dark. Gramma was sitting in the lighted kitchen eating porridge, waiting up for us. At that moment the image of her made me cry, we were off enjoying a buffet and she was alone waiting up...
Today i was watching granddad eat his lunch, he's mobility and memory is going and i could see him struggling.
Not just struggling with the pain but the loss of pride as well. Granddad was a strong man who lived relying on himself. The need to rely on people was painful for him, i could see how badly he wanted to overcome the physical restraints of his body, but he can't. It was a prison, a cage of decaying flesh. When i watched him, i realized how much i wanted my grandparents to regain their youth, to be able to push me on the swing again, to take their favourite walks without worrying their families and carry their grandchildren again.
On the way home, i realized just how little time they had left. I prayed that they would hold on till after my A levels, i don't think i could deal with their deaths. Selfish as it may seem, i don't want to die, ever. I made a decision to spend their last few years making them feel loved. They deserved that much. God help me to fulfil this wish.