THINGS ARE FINE AND THEY'RE GOING TO BE MUCH MUCH FINER!
I guess there was some confusion concerning my last post. Even if Matt had to move back to Charlotte (which he doesn't), I wouldn't. I would sooner squat in a vacant building and eat one meal a week and wear trash bags for clothes than move back to North Carolina. But none of those things will ever happen because we both have jobs not and things are better than they were and still improving. I'm sorry I complained about it. I'm also going to have a lot more free time now since I don't think I'm going to be working weekend nights anymore, which means it's time for some much needed catching up with my loved ones.
I put together a short list of some things I learned while working in yuppie downtown Chicago night clubs. It goes like this:
1. The movie Zoolander does not exaggerate. Male models really are like that in real life...really. REALLY.
2. There are a lot of gay men who don't know that they're gay and that is both funny and sad to me especially when they don't even dance well.
3. People who used to be on MTV's The Real World like to tell you that you must recognize them from MTV's The Real World and become visibly upset when you respond with "I'm sorry, I don't watch television" (Which was actually a lie because I DO watch television now...every monday night I go straight home from work so that I dont miss a second of Super Nanny. It's the only show on television worth watching. Seriously, it will change your life. Every time Jo Frost the super nanny opens her mouth, you're just like "Holy Shit, Super Nanny, you just changed my life". She's like Mary Poppins or Jesus or somebody like that. She makes me want to get knocked up a bunch of times and raise my children like animals just so that she'll come visit me someday. We even made a drinking game to her show).
4. Men are disgusting and I pretty much hate all of them (or at least all of the ones who wear pastel colored button-up shirts with khakis) and if any strange man ever touches me again, I will probably freak out and stab him in the leg and not even feel bad about it.
5. I am a super hero for suffering through all of this and working those 67 hour weeks with a smile on my face all the while and that is why I will never have to squat in a vacant building or eat one meal a week or wear trash bags for clothes.
Ok that's what I learned. I have a real fake ID now. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me! or the worst? But it's a real ID for somebody over 21 who just happens to look a lot like me. Awesome. Last night Cara and I had lots of fun because she deserves it. Bye!
I put together a short list of some things I learned while working in yuppie downtown Chicago night clubs. It goes like this:
1. The movie Zoolander does not exaggerate. Male models really are like that in real life...really. REALLY.
2. There are a lot of gay men who don't know that they're gay and that is both funny and sad to me especially when they don't even dance well.
3. People who used to be on MTV's The Real World like to tell you that you must recognize them from MTV's The Real World and become visibly upset when you respond with "I'm sorry, I don't watch television" (Which was actually a lie because I DO watch television now...every monday night I go straight home from work so that I dont miss a second of Super Nanny. It's the only show on television worth watching. Seriously, it will change your life. Every time Jo Frost the super nanny opens her mouth, you're just like "Holy Shit, Super Nanny, you just changed my life". She's like Mary Poppins or Jesus or somebody like that. She makes me want to get knocked up a bunch of times and raise my children like animals just so that she'll come visit me someday. We even made a drinking game to her show).
4. Men are disgusting and I pretty much hate all of them (or at least all of the ones who wear pastel colored button-up shirts with khakis) and if any strange man ever touches me again, I will probably freak out and stab him in the leg and not even feel bad about it.
5. I am a super hero for suffering through all of this and working those 67 hour weeks with a smile on my face all the while and that is why I will never have to squat in a vacant building or eat one meal a week or wear trash bags for clothes.
Ok that's what I learned. I have a real fake ID now. It's the best thing that's ever happened to me! or the worst? But it's a real ID for somebody over 21 who just happens to look a lot like me. Awesome. Last night Cara and I had lots of fun because she deserves it. Bye!