I Guess You Can Close This Book...Because I've Already Read The End.
It's what I wanted...really. I wanted him to learn to live without me and to find someone else or something else to love. I just didnt know that when it really happened that it would hurt this badly. He pulled me over today and told me that he likes someone else...but that it "had been fun...". I hugged him...a hug that lasted forever...a hug that would be the last of meaning between the two of us. As I walked away I held back tears...I couldnt cry in front of him. I wanted him to be happy...and if he saw he hurt me then it would hold him back...and I needed to be strong for myself. Rebekah could tell something happened...and she did her best to make me laugh...and I did...she's hilarious...but- still I'm dying inside. I think that it kills me more for a few reasons. 1- When I broke up with him...I knew that there was still at least the tiny glimmer of something there...and that I was in control...I could get it back whenever I wanted. So it didnt really seem over. 2- Because what? Is this girl better? He always told me that I'm perfect...is she perfect too? Can there be more than one perfect? 3- Like Liz kept telling me on the cruise...I know what he's saying to her...how he looks at her...how he cries and laughs over her...the same he did with me. Now...am I really the unique person he told me I was? 4- Yesterday he told me he loves me...and now? Now he likes someone else. i know like and love are two different things...but what is love when he likes someone else? Now I dont have anyone that I KNOW looks at me and thinks "wow- she's beautiful." unconditionaly. It kills me! It's my fault...I did the breaking up---and now I guess I got what wanted. I guess. Later he said "Hannah, you know I still love you right?" I surprised myself...I said "No. No Logan, you dont." Lucky Emily...you dont know what a great guy you've got that likes you. Dont hurt him. Logan, I guess it's over for good...but I do still love you. You took a part of my heart with you...and you will always have it. So I guess you could say that this story...this book of him and I is over...so I guess you can close this book...because I've already read the end.