More stuff.
“What say you, Philippe? With training, we could take this show on the road. Charge a fee. Free the nasty little peasants from their pedestrian ball-chasing ways.”
“Road?”
“Yeah, that thing we travel on when we go marauding. You know, it’s been too long since the last good maraud.”
Keeper groaned, but before the Evil Ferret Overlord’s thoughts could follow their usual course to full-blown frenetic fury, Philippe leaped to his feet.
“Philippe knows what is road, Ferrety One. Also knows that lunatic peasanty peasant Angelita spends lots time on road. Probably still there is.”
Perhaps being stalked had given the royal chef a sixth sense, because the road happened to be exactly where Angelita was. More specifically, she was on the road headed for a cold concrete warehouse where a little old man with white hair was still hard at work on his telephone to the Astral Plane. In the weeks that had passed, he had grown confident enough in his device to begin showing it off to the most gullible villagers. Angelita, who just that morning had received a shipment of carved faces that could be attached to trees and called “forest guardians”, faces which she had spent nearly a month’s pay to acquire, was one of his more frequent visitors. [author’s note: Must introduce the “forest guardians” earlier on. She can bid them farewell and give them an offering of rainbow-sprinkle donut and chant for a bit. Philippe can hear her chanting, and ask Keeper what it means. Some of the villagers think it means something purple and bad-sci-fi-fantasy sounding, but in reality it translates to “I am old and hapless. Bananas have fearsome nostrils and they may come to eat me. Thus endeth the umbrella stand ]
“How easily you forget, you are in the employ of an Evil Ferret Overlord. One who also employs weapons forgers. Perhaps they have some more of those dynamite bouquets. Those are classic.”
There was a chipping sound, and then the echoing clatter of metal falling on a tile floor. Livilla and Twila crawled through the super-secret entrance, which was located below and slightly to the right of the secret entrance. It was super-secret because it wasn’t used much, and came directly from the dungeons. At the opposite end of the tunnel was another super-secret panel, which was directly across from a door leading to another tunnel, which lead to a ladder, which lead to a hatch, which, if crawled through, lead to the exterior of the castle, just on the other side of the moat. This may have defied a few laws of physics if anybody else were in charge. Fortunately the Evil Ferret Overlord was the one in charge and writing the laws, and unlike certain rotund Scotsmen, felt that the laws of physics ought to be changeable at a whim, and more like Polite Suggestions of Physics. The Royal Keeper had a nagging fear that the suggestions might cause gravity in the castle to suddenly fail. This fear was compounded by the fact that very few of the Evil Ferret Overlord’s suggestions qualified as “polite”. The Overlord reassured her keeper that if things went wrong, she could always go smiting, but she hadn’t yet thought of a way to smite an abstract concept like Gravity, so Keeper remained a little bit concerned
Must bring notebook to work.
“Road?”
“Yeah, that thing we travel on when we go marauding. You know, it’s been too long since the last good maraud.”
Keeper groaned, but before the Evil Ferret Overlord’s thoughts could follow their usual course to full-blown frenetic fury, Philippe leaped to his feet.
“Philippe knows what is road, Ferrety One. Also knows that lunatic peasanty peasant Angelita spends lots time on road. Probably still there is.”
Perhaps being stalked had given the royal chef a sixth sense, because the road happened to be exactly where Angelita was. More specifically, she was on the road headed for a cold concrete warehouse where a little old man with white hair was still hard at work on his telephone to the Astral Plane. In the weeks that had passed, he had grown confident enough in his device to begin showing it off to the most gullible villagers. Angelita, who just that morning had received a shipment of carved faces that could be attached to trees and called “forest guardians”, faces which she had spent nearly a month’s pay to acquire, was one of his more frequent visitors. [author’s note: Must introduce the “forest guardians” earlier on. She can bid them farewell and give them an offering of rainbow-sprinkle donut and chant for a bit. Philippe can hear her chanting, and ask Keeper what it means. Some of the villagers think it means something purple and bad-sci-fi-fantasy sounding, but in reality it translates to “I am old and hapless. Bananas have fearsome nostrils and they may come to eat me. Thus endeth the umbrella stand ]
“How easily you forget, you are in the employ of an Evil Ferret Overlord. One who also employs weapons forgers. Perhaps they have some more of those dynamite bouquets. Those are classic.”
There was a chipping sound, and then the echoing clatter of metal falling on a tile floor. Livilla and Twila crawled through the super-secret entrance, which was located below and slightly to the right of the secret entrance. It was super-secret because it wasn’t used much, and came directly from the dungeons. At the opposite end of the tunnel was another super-secret panel, which was directly across from a door leading to another tunnel, which lead to a ladder, which lead to a hatch, which, if crawled through, lead to the exterior of the castle, just on the other side of the moat. This may have defied a few laws of physics if anybody else were in charge. Fortunately the Evil Ferret Overlord was the one in charge and writing the laws, and unlike certain rotund Scotsmen, felt that the laws of physics ought to be changeable at a whim, and more like Polite Suggestions of Physics. The Royal Keeper had a nagging fear that the suggestions might cause gravity in the castle to suddenly fail. This fear was compounded by the fact that very few of the Evil Ferret Overlord’s suggestions qualified as “polite”. The Overlord reassured her keeper that if things went wrong, she could always go smiting, but she hadn’t yet thought of a way to smite an abstract concept like Gravity, so Keeper remained a little bit concerned
Must bring notebook to work.