(no subject)
3 months until graduation! it's exciting and a little weird at the same time. I find myself more often now thinking about my four years in high school. and each year was really different. Both in the experiences and the person I am.
My freshman year I was awkward, shy, and I tried to keep friendships with people who didn't really care about me. It was also a year of firsts, first year in marching band, first year in high school, first boyfriend, first kiss, first D in a class, and sadly the first time I lost a best friend who decided she couldn't talk to me because I didn't hang out with the same people she hung out with.
My Sophomore year was full of sports. I joined cross country and track and had an amazing time. I'm really mad at myself for not continuing cross country, I really do love running. This was the first time I actually started doing well in music, I got into 0 block with no audition because they needed another bass clarinet. This was probably my favorite year in music, mostly because there were some really amazing seniors who kinda inspired me to do well. I was still awkward this year, I kept trying to find niches that I could fit into but never seemed to find the right fit. this was a very up down year, it was never just right.
My Junior year was when I really started to find myself and feel comfortable with who I was. It was both the best and worst school year of my life. Although I still had my best friends from before, I found that I was able to be myself around people more, instead of constantly feeling uncomfortable about what I said, did, and looked like. Honestly I just stopped caring what people thought of me(if they even did) and I just became the person I liked. This was also the worst year because on Homecoming night my brother got into a car crash and almost lost his life. Every time I look at a picture of the car my brother crashed in it's really hard for me to believe he did live. This experience really made me believe that someone wanted my brother to keep living, that he had a purpose in life that he hadn't accomplished yet. I thought my brother would cherish his life and the people around him more after this incident, but his addictions got in the way. In February my brother went to a rehab center because of his addiction to drugs. This really made me question what I believed in. I couldn't figure out why my brother was meant to live through that car crash if he was just going to mess up his life and the lives around him. I learned a lot about people with addictions, that even if they do care about people, the addiction makes them only care about the drugs. It's really a horrible thing to watch someone change because of an addiction, but I always had faith that my brother could overcome this, and he mostly has, except for pot and the fact that he doesn't do anything. I did a whole lot of questioning this year, some of those questions I found answers to and some of them I'll most likely never find answers to.
My Senior year has been really amazing for the most part. I have a family that loves me and friends that I feel comfortable with and can count on. And really that's all I need. Honestly the thing that I remember most about in high school and will probably remember years from now is band and the all the experiences I had and people I shared them with in it. It's really amazing to be part of such a large group of people who all share a common love in music. I really enjoy being in the band room even more than my own home, mostly because of the people and music there but also because it doesn't smell like smoke and pot and people are laughing more than they are bitching and fighting. I really think going away for college will come as a relief. I'm really looking forward to learning more about life and myself in college. I still don't know what I want to do which is kinda freaking me out. I'm going to post this now because I'm tired of looking at this snorgtees ad with a blond girl in slutty bronze shorts on the side of the screen.
My freshman year I was awkward, shy, and I tried to keep friendships with people who didn't really care about me. It was also a year of firsts, first year in marching band, first year in high school, first boyfriend, first kiss, first D in a class, and sadly the first time I lost a best friend who decided she couldn't talk to me because I didn't hang out with the same people she hung out with.
My Sophomore year was full of sports. I joined cross country and track and had an amazing time. I'm really mad at myself for not continuing cross country, I really do love running. This was the first time I actually started doing well in music, I got into 0 block with no audition because they needed another bass clarinet. This was probably my favorite year in music, mostly because there were some really amazing seniors who kinda inspired me to do well. I was still awkward this year, I kept trying to find niches that I could fit into but never seemed to find the right fit. this was a very up down year, it was never just right.
My Junior year was when I really started to find myself and feel comfortable with who I was. It was both the best and worst school year of my life. Although I still had my best friends from before, I found that I was able to be myself around people more, instead of constantly feeling uncomfortable about what I said, did, and looked like. Honestly I just stopped caring what people thought of me(if they even did) and I just became the person I liked. This was also the worst year because on Homecoming night my brother got into a car crash and almost lost his life. Every time I look at a picture of the car my brother crashed in it's really hard for me to believe he did live. This experience really made me believe that someone wanted my brother to keep living, that he had a purpose in life that he hadn't accomplished yet. I thought my brother would cherish his life and the people around him more after this incident, but his addictions got in the way. In February my brother went to a rehab center because of his addiction to drugs. This really made me question what I believed in. I couldn't figure out why my brother was meant to live through that car crash if he was just going to mess up his life and the lives around him. I learned a lot about people with addictions, that even if they do care about people, the addiction makes them only care about the drugs. It's really a horrible thing to watch someone change because of an addiction, but I always had faith that my brother could overcome this, and he mostly has, except for pot and the fact that he doesn't do anything. I did a whole lot of questioning this year, some of those questions I found answers to and some of them I'll most likely never find answers to.
My Senior year has been really amazing for the most part. I have a family that loves me and friends that I feel comfortable with and can count on. And really that's all I need. Honestly the thing that I remember most about in high school and will probably remember years from now is band and the all the experiences I had and people I shared them with in it. It's really amazing to be part of such a large group of people who all share a common love in music. I really enjoy being in the band room even more than my own home, mostly because of the people and music there but also because it doesn't smell like smoke and pot and people are laughing more than they are bitching and fighting. I really think going away for college will come as a relief. I'm really looking forward to learning more about life and myself in college. I still don't know what I want to do which is kinda freaking me out. I'm going to post this now because I'm tired of looking at this snorgtees ad with a blond girl in slutty bronze shorts on the side of the screen.