(no subject)
What have I done? No, really, what the hell have I done? I've screwed up my life, and I should probably try and run back to Boston and pick up the pieces. I don't want too. I don't want to go back there and beg Ryan to forgive me for breaking off our engagement. I don't want to go to the dean of admissions at Harvard and beg to be let back into classes. That life wasn't mine. It was what my family wanted for me. My family who are no longer around to dictate what happens to me. I'm out of boarding schools and Harvard just wasn't for me.
Mom and Dad are gone now. Only Nate is around and god he must hate me. I totally blew off his wedding and didn't even call to congratulate him. Honestly, I just totally forgot because just as my big brother's life was coming together, mine was falling apart. It was too much, you know? Too much pressure to be perfect and have this perfect life and I couldn't even remember if I ever loved Ryan. How sad is that? We'd been dating for so long that he just became this habit. He deserved better than that. He deserved better than me.
So, I went to a psychic and had my tarot cards done. I know, it sounds stupid, but I believe in the cards. I believe there are things we can't understand, but we should still listen to their guidance. The cards said it was time to take a journey and find myself. That I should go some place I'd always wanted to be visit and I would find the right path to take there. So, I'm on a quest to find Lancelot. Seriously, it's been this childhood dream of mine to find Camelot. It still exists, but you just have to know where to look. So, I'm in the airport waiting to board my flight to Ireland. I need to call Nate and at least let him know what is going on with me. I don't want him to worry, and it's best he hears what has gone down from me before Ryan and his family call to tell him what a failure his little sister is.
Who am I kidding? He probably already knows what has happened, and by now Ryan and his parents would have called, but I still need to make my own call and offer the best explanation that I can. So, I waited until it was too late for him to possibly stop me? I have to do what I have to do and I am on a mission to find Lancelot. First things first. Call to the older bro.
*dials Nate's private line*
*narrows her eyes at some guy who is eyeing her purse and luggage*
Don't even think about it buddy. I'll tackle you before you have a chance to run. Back off.
Mom and Dad are gone now. Only Nate is around and god he must hate me. I totally blew off his wedding and didn't even call to congratulate him. Honestly, I just totally forgot because just as my big brother's life was coming together, mine was falling apart. It was too much, you know? Too much pressure to be perfect and have this perfect life and I couldn't even remember if I ever loved Ryan. How sad is that? We'd been dating for so long that he just became this habit. He deserved better than that. He deserved better than me.
So, I went to a psychic and had my tarot cards done. I know, it sounds stupid, but I believe in the cards. I believe there are things we can't understand, but we should still listen to their guidance. The cards said it was time to take a journey and find myself. That I should go some place I'd always wanted to be visit and I would find the right path to take there. So, I'm on a quest to find Lancelot. Seriously, it's been this childhood dream of mine to find Camelot. It still exists, but you just have to know where to look. So, I'm in the airport waiting to board my flight to Ireland. I need to call Nate and at least let him know what is going on with me. I don't want him to worry, and it's best he hears what has gone down from me before Ryan and his family call to tell him what a failure his little sister is.
Who am I kidding? He probably already knows what has happened, and by now Ryan and his parents would have called, but I still need to make my own call and offer the best explanation that I can. So, I waited until it was too late for him to possibly stop me? I have to do what I have to do and I am on a mission to find Lancelot. First things first. Call to the older bro.
*dials Nate's private line*
*narrows her eyes at some guy who is eyeing her purse and luggage*
Don't even think about it buddy. I'll tackle you before you have a chance to run. Back off.