Quote of the Week

[hannah_hinda]

"Of course we all thought you were gay when we were teenagers: you were confident and you weren't afraid of men."
I don't have an issue with the person who said it: in fact she's very progressive and insanely intelligent. But if even she can come out with something like that and not see it as contradictory/bizarre/insane - then I'm frankly starting

Comments

Please forgive the vague non-academic rambles

[kitty_purrfect]

It seems strange to me that being afraid of men is linked to heterosexuality - it implies that potential sexuality (with members of the opposite sex, who might be - oh god - NOT LIKE US) is something to be feared. As a heterosexual woman, I've personally always found men easier to get along with than the majority of women, but I guess there is always a sense of the 'other gender'. Also, most of my friendships with men after puberty were in the context of Gamessoc and going out with Robin, a combination that makes it easier to get on with men in that social group as it removes the potential for further intimacy that can make those sort of friendships uncomfortable. This may be a misperception on my part, since I do suspect that after four years in a social group like Gamessoc, I would still have the comfortable friendships I have with my current male friends. Even if I didn't, I don't think it would equate to fear.

Maybe it's a fear of the percieved aggression of male sexuality, but I don't see why that should be specific to heterosexual women. So perhaps it's the implication of the male gaze always being a sexual thing with friendships between heterosexual men and women, thanks to the cultural 'norms' experimented with but ultimately supported by films like 'When Harry Met Sally'. So being the object of someone's desire is scary? I'm repeating myself here. But it could link to the idea not of a lack of confidence as a result of fear of not being attractive to the other gender, but instead confidence related to not having the pressure of being attractive to men. Still a flawed concept, especially when purely related to homosexuality, and assuming that trying to appear sexually attractive is for the benefit of the gender group one is trying to attract rather than, say oneself or one's peer group, but perhaps more explicable than just 'homosexual women are more confident'.