Don't fuck with my yard signs...
Per usual there's a lot to catch up on. For now, I'm not even going to try. I assume at some point I'll either go on a mad word binge and get everyone up to date, or enough time will pass so that everything I wanted to say is outdated to the point that I don't feel the NEED to update on it and can start fresh. Anyway, I'd rather share the latest weird from the swamp.
Someone stole our Obama yard sign.
Okay, that's not the weird part. I was surprised that it lasted as long as it did. But it pissed me off a little...especially since the thieves left muddy tire tracks in my front yard.
I did my share of sign stealing as a teenager...and well, okay...I still do it sometimes when I come across a really good one--like when one of the local Campbells ran for some county office or another and stuck up all these signs that looked like soup cans. Some souvenirs are too good to pass up.
But since this was a plain old yard sign, available from the campaign, and disappeared the same night that a bunch of McCain one's went up nearby (Not on my road...This is "Democrats with Shotguns" territory), I think the sign stealing was an act of political disagreement.
That ain't cool.
I stole that sign myself, fair and square. Er...well, I commandeered it from the campaign office, telling our FO that I'd write an IOU to Mr. Obama if he liked--that as soon as he got elected and improved the economy enough so that I was no longer perma-broke, I'd pay him back. I liked my perky little yard sign. It added character to the front yard...all cheerful and shit.
Besides, I have yet to engage in stealing of opponents signs....not even the combo McCain/homemade "NO BHO" travesty in front of a rather scary trailer that I want to kick every time I drive past. I resist because I consider such things fundamentally Un-Democratic. They have a right to blare their redneck ignorance all they like.
...I did make a couple guys nervous who yelled obscenities over my bumper stickers in traffic...But I only smiled, waved and, well...followed them very closely for several miles. But that was a lesson in etiquette. I absolve myself of wrongdoing.
So, how did I handle this insult to my lawn?
Well, the above picture SORT of tells the story.
I don't like being angry and letting assholes get under my skin. So my favorite weapons in the fight for truth, justice, and good manners are smart-assery and pointed humor.
That way, whether I get my point across or not, I at least got a laugh out of my "retaliation".
There was no point in haunting the office to snag another sign that would probably disappear just as quickly...so I decided to make my own. Besides, homemade signs have so much more personality.
Luckily I had a spare piece of plywood laying around and lots of paint.
Also, since we lack a chainsaw still (long story), there's still a good bit of tree in our front yard...The perfect thing to hold our sign.
In the spirit of Discordian politics, I decided to include a message to would-be sign thieves as well.
My masterpiece....
See--I figured, if we attached the sign to the tree VERY securely, we could create a win-win-win situation.
Either people would leave it alone, get the fucking tree out my yard too...or I'd have the pleasure of knowing that they went to a LOT of trouble to remove it.
No matter what, it gave me a chance to call attention to some bad neighbor behavior in a way that would subtly mock the perpetrators and give the rest of the neighborhood/family a good laugh over my weirdness.
I occasionally like to indulge my love of the dramatic so we decided that, since the other sign DISAPPEARED overnight, we'd make this one APPEAR suddenly in the morning by putting it up under the cover of darkness...Besides, it made us feel all covert and shit.
First step--LOTS of nails...
Then, to be doubly aggravating, Rob looped parachute cord through a hook in the back of the sign and AROUND the tree.
Between those measures, the natural yucca barrier and the heavy-ass plywood, it will at least be difficult to remove. It would probably be EASIER to take the tree as well.
The best part...While we were doing all this, I was wearing big, purple fuzzy slippers of doom
EEEK! Me with no makeup!
...but don't I look intimidating.
The things we country folk do to amuse ourselves....
...but amused we were.
So...to get everyone in the practice for that whole voting thing coming up, a poll...
Poll The fate of my sign...
One last thing in the land of politics...Rally photos are here.
I recommend viewing them as a slideshow or "medium size"...The originals are huge.
5:00 a.m.--It was unseasonably cold.
Apartments nearby, pre-rally. People watched from the balconies.
The crowd--About 18,000 total.
My squee face.Makeup sweated off and courting the sunburn of doom...I'm still peeling.
My signed book--Hence the squee face.
The rest are pretty self-explanatory. Feel free to snag any you want.