Attention fucking EVERYONE.

[hank_callahan]

ZOMG I'M GOING TO NEW YORK!!! WITHOUT MY DAD!!!!! I LOVE BEE!!!

Comments

[no_substitution]

I can hear you squeeing from my room.

[hank_callahan]

Yeah, suck it. I'm going to New York.

I AM GOING TO NEW-FUCKING-YORK, BITCHES!!!

[no_substitution]

... You need mental help.

[hank_callahan]

Fuck that noise, yo. I need help packing. And dressing. Help me pick out clothes, loan me shit that'll make me look hot, or buy earplugs. Get your ass the fuck in here, bitch!

[no_substitution]

Yeah yeah, okay freak.

[hank_callahan]

Whatever, yo. Suck. IT. I'm going to NEW YORK! WHOO!

...awwwwwww, fuck. I just realized something.

[no_substitution]

Are you going to let me in on le revelation?

[hank_callahan]

I'm gonna miss my boyfriend. :(

[no_substitution]

You are such a loser it's actually kind of ridiculous.

[hank_callahan]

Yeah, shut your hole before I claw you to death with my teeny tiny front facing arms, yo.

I'll text him...if I go see him, I'll make out with him all night and get grounded again. Bitch, get in here now before I go dino on your ass!!

[no_substitution]

I'm coming! Christ man.

[hank_callahan]

You fucking are not! You're still sitting at your computer blaring Nelly or some shit, I can fucking hear you from here!

COME DRESS ME FOR NEW YORK LIKE NOW!!

[no_substitution]

IT'S KANYE AND YOU BEST TAKE THAT NELLY COMMENT BACK BEFORE I BEAT YOU. WHORE.

I'm tying bows on the boxes of cookies and brownies and sinful saltines that you're taking to Bee and Julian and Bee's friend, so blow me.

[hank_callahan]

SUCK. IT. NELLY FAN.

You have ten seconds before I come to your room and eat those cookies myself, woman. No fucking fooling around. Did I mention that I'm going to New York here?!?

[no_substitution]

You have to remember I lived there for a solid six months. I'm not catching the OMGSQUEE vibe.